Healer Eleven
by SighingWinter
Summary: When young healer, Ami is ordered to live in Squand 11 captained by the fierce Zaraki Kenpachi she is absolutely terified. What will she do when she finds that healing the body can become something far more? And what will 11th squad do when things change?
1. Doomed Chapter 1

There always comes a point in time when you have do things for yourself, or make decisions that might just affect more than you. It sort of sucks but then, when had life ever really been fair. Never. My life came to an end in the Heian era, and I was reborn in what we call the Soul Society. I don't really remember how long I'd been there or how I'd managed to survive before that man came to me and brought me into the Soul Academy. All I really remember was his face. The face of an old man who'd seen more than his share of blood and death. A man who was haunted by what he'd seen and done. Back then I'd loved him as a father. That was before he took me away. Before he began to drink and before he scarred me. By that time I was merely a teenager, young and unchallenged and untried by the life I so desired to lead. My name is Ami- just Ami. I have been abandoned, taken in, loved, and hated. And yet here I am on the edge of a true and final death. I had meant to blink, but as my eyes closed I fell.

I gasped, lurching up in bed as the falling feeling woke me once more. No I wasn't falling, I had been asleep. A dream, nothing more. I knew I'd had this dream before but I can't remember when, it's always this way. Elusive- that's what the dream was. Shaking my head slowly, I slid out of my futon and, being careful not to wake the others changed into my usual robes. Sliding on a choker, I silently slipped out of the fourth division barracks and went for an early morning walk.

Souske Aizen, Gin Ichimaru, and Kaname Tousen, had disappeared into Hueco Mundo with none of us having seen or heard from them since. The wounds caused by betrayal weren't easily healed, but slowly heal they did. All the building's that'd been damaged had been repaired or replaced. Life was gradually beginning to feel normal, more like a scab than a gaping wound.

"If only the red alert protocols would be let down then we'd be back to normal." I sighed, "but they won't be- not until HE is dead." I sighed, another hopeless situation. "but there's always hope that they die in Hueco Mundo, save us all a bit of grief" I continued to walk around fourth division, until I heard a crash and curses comming from the healing ward, as I passed it. Curiosity won over any bit of self-preservation I had. Walking quickly over, I opened the door and gaped at the caos within. THe men from eleventh divison must have gotten into an arugement or had been drinking again, for most of them were in a brawl. I flinched as a few men were thrown past me.

"Don't you dare run! Coward!" A man cried, rushing out the door to pummel those who'd flown through it but a moment ealier. I winced at every sound made by hands comming into contact with flesh. Memories that I'd thought had been washed away by time, flooded my mind. Instinct and long developed habit called for me to run, and for the first time in over a hundred years I obeyed without question. I rushed through the buildings that made up fourth divison and as I did so other healers, who'd woken up to the noise pushed past me to see what it was that was causeing a commotion. Others, those who'd been here for at least a years or more, groaned and growled about how many times eleventh divison did this.

I ran allng the Captain's corridor only to almost crash into the taichou herself, as she walked down the hall, serenly, like there wasn't any sound in the world but a calming flute or the wind brushing through the sakura trees. I bowed, to her. "Taichou" I recieved a small smiled, as she breezed easily passed. Isane, and her younger sister- a third seat in thirteenth divison followed behind her.

I straightened to find Hantarou standing besde me, a gaze filled with respect and admiration lock on the backs of the three women. "Unahana Taichou is amazeing." He murmured.I nodded in agreement. Hantarou and I walked together to our usual healing room, as we did so a sudden and absolute silence descended upon the fourth divison barracks, and a wave of pure reliefe filled my breast. Yes, Unahana Taichou was amazeing but she was also just as frightening.

The hours flew by as Hantarou and I reported to our everyday duties. According to the rumors floating around those who'd fought were sent back to their divison on the understanding that they should not be returning anytime soon. A couple of people had said something about an or else in there too, but I ignored that. as long as it didn't affect my being in anyway I was perfectly fine to continue on with life as though nothing had happened. As I finished up tending to my latest patient, a boy from the academy, as hell butterfly fluttered through the open windows, landing on Hantarou's shoulder.

"EHHH?" He yelled jumping. I shook my head at the typical reaction. _When would he ever learn to be descrete?_ I wonderd absentmindly as I sent the patient off with a small and meaningless smile. "ami-san. Unahana-Taichous wants to speak with us. Isane- fukkitaicou said it was important. something about an assignment." Hantarou said, hey big eyes wide.

"When?" I asked, as I waved in the next patient.

"Today!" He exclaimed wavving his hands around in slight panic. A jar ttoppled over, and with a start Hantarou carshed to the floor in order to save the balm. Walking over, I plucked the jar from his hands and set it back on it's shelf.

"I meant what time." Hantarou gulped loudly. "N-noon."

Glanceing at the time I nodded, "Alright." The patient walked in and I silently began to treat the girl's wounded leg. a sparring accident, she told me as she looked around nervously. clearly it was her first time here, she was so chatty. And to make matteres worse Hantarou was almost useless, pranceing nervously around and knocking things over with his nervous energy. When noon came around Hantarou tripped and stumbbled the entire way there.

"Exucse us." I called lightly tapping on the wooden part of the sliding door. Footsteps were heard within and the door slid open, revealing a smileing Isane. "Come in." She said, stepping aside as I walked and Hantarou stumbbled through. We both bowed to Unahana Taichou and sat where she guestered. A group of four male healers, all of them seated officers, and a young woman who has just joined the divison sat on the other cushions that were for such meetings. "Forgive me for being so late!"Hantanrou cried as he sat down. He head hung in shame.

Unahana Taihcou merely smiled. "No need to worry. You're right on time." Something about her smile tipped me off, that something wasn't right. The room was silent for a long while as we looked at one another and at the captain. Finally she looked at us, her gaze gentle but solem.

"As I am sure you are all aware of, there was a ruckus this morning. The cause was the members of eleventh divison who'd been staying with us as they were ingured. After in incident I took the liberty of addressing the reoccuring problem to the Captains. They agreed that the measures I had taken so far were alright, however after this most recent occurance I made a decison, and announced it to the other taichous. Not a single member of squand eleven are allowed within my divison unless they are mortally wounded."

This announcement surprised us all, and as we stared at our taichou in absolute shock Unahana Taichou continued without pause, "Of course they were very much against the idea, however I remained vilgilent. Instead I proposed to send a single team to live at the eleventh divison barracks to work as the full time healers of that squand. "

Dread filled my stomach, she wouldn't do this to me would she? The only being in the world who knew the entirety of my past. Unahana continued as she gazed at us, knowing that as those who served under her, we would have to obey or leave. "That is why I have called you here. Satou, Atobou, Lein, Tanaka, Mei, and Ami; you are some of my best healers- therefore you are now to serve Kenpachi Taichou and eleventh divison to the best of you abilities." She turned her gaze to Hantarou, "Hantarou, you will be the one in charge of makeing sure that they have all the supplies they need. Before they go and durring their stay."

With those words, the world as I knew it fell into pieces. And nothing but shattered remains lingered.


	2. A Healing Chapter 2

I gazed up at the doors that blocked the Elevebth Divison barracks from the rest of the Serretti. Mei and the others surrounded me, and together we all listened at the noises that floated down over the walls. Yells, and the sounds of crashing swords mostly. Tanaka was the first one of our group to square his shoulders and step foreward. Switching my gaze to him I blinked as he moved to approach the gates. _He's doing what I swore to do. _Silently I marvled at the man who I barely knew. He was moving foreward stepping up to the challenge, not because he liked the idea but because it was his duty. Slowly I too stepped foreward and walked beside him. He glanced down at me, and I smiled nervously. He grinned, "Together?" I nodded, and as one we reached up and knocked.

The gates creeked open as though they were rusty from disuse, and I twitched at the messiness that lay before me. Men and sake bottles were scattered every where like the leave of fall- except not as colorful. Some of the Men on the ground were wounded, others merely unconscious. Even more men were sparring. As the six of us beakers walked through the gateway many stopped what they were doing to gaze at us. A murmur speed through the men, they probably weren't actually expecting us, or has bet that we wouldn't come at all. Based on the expressions of some I was pretty sure it was the latter that held more truth. "WHY HAS EVERYONE STOPPED FIGHTING?" a loud voice growled, the men parted but even that wasn't necessary in order for me to see Zaraki Kenpachi- leader of eleventh division and possibly one of he strongest men in the entire Soul Society. He was tall and broad, his spiky hair with it's bells plus the eye patch and the scars that lined his body added to his dominating figure. I would learn later after a bit of observance that he made other men see dainty and small whever they were in his presence- but at this moment the only thing I could do was stare. I had seen him several time far off but never this close and never in his own territory. Mei or someone behind me let out a near silent whimper of fright. "What're you people doing here? Yah here to fight?" Kenpachi looked down at us, resting his chipped blade on his shoulder the edge towards the sky. "Ken-chan!" the pink haired child that suddenly appeared on Kenpachi's shoulder could only be his fukitaichou, Yachirru. "Those guys are the healers cuz Katsu Baka got us kicked outta fourth division, remember?" Kenpachi snorted, "right. If you lot can't deal with it here leave. I don't have time for weaklings and complainers." Mari let out a small squeak, while I kept my gaze steadily on his swords, the feeling of needing to be on my guard had sat strongly in my stomach the moment I had entered this division. Kenpachi either didn't see or ignored me eyeing his zanpakto, and he turned and left, leaving a man with feathers on his eyelashes to show us to our new rooms. I was one of the last people in my group that was givven a room. Closeing the door behind me I liked around, and almost felt happy. It was bigger than my room in fourth divison, and the walls were painted a soft blue, it was easy and relaxing. I unpacked what little I'd brought then took out the healing slave and bandages. It was time to get to to work. The first few weeks were the worst, because we had to organize supplies, make sure that the room where we kept the badly wounded was clean, and other things. For awhile we had the help of Yumichika or Ikkaku, but after the first week the two seated officers were no where to be found. We began to officially see anyone wounded person after we'd finished setting up and making sure everything was secure and able to be locked away. We began seeing to injuries after the first three or four days. By the end of the second week Mei had left. She hadn't really gotten past her fear of blood, or course it hadn't helped that the first guy she had ever treated had been on the verge of loosing an arm. It wasn't long after that that another one of the pRty left after he couldn't keep his mouth closed, and had been throughly beaten by most of eleventh division. Already two of the six were gone. The end of another long day came and I quietly sat in my room drinking a cup of relaxing tea, and pondering the reasons why I had been sent here. According to what Satou had told me Unahana Taichou hadn't just picked us at random. "what are you talking about?" Tanaka had asked his brow furrowed in confusion. It was just us healers as we sat in the mess hall eating lunch. "well think about it- Mari had a blood phobia, and Atobou has never been able to keep that large mouth of his shut. So where would you send people if you knew a place where you have them exposed to and overcome their fears?" Tanaka had a blank expression on his face then gradually began to nod. "I wonder what she sent us here for?" Shaking my head I stood and changed into my sleeping kimono. Not long after I laid down sleep dragged me into oblivion... I was in a bamboo forest running with a smile.'"hurry!" a light voice called. " wait up!" I returned laughing. "common Ami!" I tried to get closer to the person but they only managed to get further away. I realized that he world was shaking and another voice was calling me."Ami-chan!" I opened sleep dazed eyes, and saw a worried looking Yumichik looking down at me. "wha is it?" I asked groggily sitting up. "he says he won't see anybody, but he needs to be healed." his voice was laced with concern and panic. "who?" "Kenpachi..." Quickly I walked down the halls, following Yumichika as he lead me to his captain's room along the way we passed many of the men of eleventh division. Worried frowns lined their faces and I finally felt like I was on familiar ground with them. Yumichika walked to a door and nodded. Returning the nod I walked in, mentally prepareing myself for my first close up and personal encounter with Zaraki Kenpachi. The man sat on the cool floor varying degrees of wounds across his torso. Manicle eyes looked up and watched my expression as I gauged what I should do. Nervously I walked over to the man and knelt beside him. Already his uniform had been removed from the waist up. I silently tended his wounds first cleaning them, mentally marveling at the amount of dirt within. One of his large hands twitched and I fought down the habit of moving away. "Do I frighten you girl?" his voice was a grateing whisper as though he'd been yelling. Mutely I shook my head, it was true I wasn't afraid so much of who he was, but of what the man could do. He snorted, and for the remainder of the treatment was silent. The effort I'd taken into healing the Captain exhausted me. The healing kidos I used were effective and doubtless the man would be fighting again by tomorrow morning. When finished I stood, bowed, then stumbbled out of the room. ~Yumichika's PoV~ I watched the plain looking girl,Ami, stumbble out of he taichou's room, her face grey- from what I was unsure. She walked unsteadily past me and down the hall. As she turned the corner i walked in, and blinked in shock. Gone were the wounds that had stained the floor moments ago. Already the worst had healed while the lesser wounds had been bandaged. Kenpachi was looking at his body, a grin on his face. "Good job. Not bad" "is there anything else I can do Taichou?" "Who's the girl?" "Ami, a plain unbeautiful name." ~Ami PoV~ Life the next morning was hell. The draining of my powers to heal Zaraki Kenpachi took a toll on me, it was one big hangover. When Ikkaku popped his shaved head into the healing room, I knew at once I was descending very quickly past the point of no return. "You are all being called to the training grounds." Tanaka and the others faces paled. I'm almost certain mine did too, we were all going the die. 


	3. A routine Chapter 3

After last night's healing and the awful hangover like effects of over expending myself I really wasn't in the right mind to fight. Sweating and panting I gazed at my second opponent with what I hoped was calm rather than the fear I could feel thrumming through my viens. He swung at me again and I danced out of the way, in a smooth and well rehearsed motion. Kenpachi had told us that this was an 'initiation' the rules were simple: don't die. No kido was allowed either, as if I had the strength for it after last night.

I ducked under another swing, moving out of reach. Am I a coward-no, I am selfish. I always looked at all the options, and if I couldn't beat my opponent and I knew before hand, I ran. Running wasn't an option here. Before Unahanna Taichou had thrown me a curveball I couldn't dodge my life had been simple. No fighting, just aiding those who needed it. Now here I was barehanded facing off against my second opponent, the first I had exhausted. There were no breaks between it was all just battle battle battle.

The man I faced was an unseated shinigami, and not entirely weak, but he had the one thing that I didn't, a zanpakto. Earlier I had refused to draw my weapon, preferring to fight bare handed. The man rushed forward, yelling and I ducked under his swing. He was too close and off balance and as he stumbbled forward, I brought up my fist. He groaned and bent over clutching his solar plexus. Groans welcomed his fall, accompanied by loud remarks of 'lucky shot' and 'idiot'.

The sounds of swords clashing suddenly reached my ears, and the few spectators I had gathered rrushed to the other end of the training field. Relief tasted sweet in my mouth, and slowly I began to move away from fields. Suddenly Tanaka flew past me and into a wall, creating a large crater in it.

"Oi! That all you got?" Madarame Ikkaku yelled walking through the crowd, a spear on his shoulder.

Scurrying out of the way, i watched in awe as Tanaka stood, an expression of irritation on his face. He dusted himself off and then looked at Ikkaku with eyes full of anger.

He slowly drew his zanpakto, "Jolt, Raimaru!" Electricity jumped through the air as Tanaka revealed his shikai; the sword was average in length but thin. Engravings of gold depicting lightening bolts, decorated the blue tinged blade. A grin split across Ikakku's visage, and he rushed forewords.

The outcome of his match was, though I hate to say it, predictable. Tanaka and Ikkaku had clearly discussed something during their match which had riled Tanaka up to the point where he lost his concentration. Ikkaku was a skilled fighter and after a few moments sent Raimaru flying through the air. It clacked to the ground too far for my fellow healer to reach. He stood there panting with Ikkaku's spearhead at his throat.

The days passed much in the same way. Everyday we had to fight and though I didn't always win, it was surpriseing to me when I began to realize that it was nice- to fight. It relieved my stress and helped cool my temper whenever it rose. Thankfully I never saw much of my new Taichou, and I never had to heal him again- another thing to be thankful for.

Gradually Tanaka and I began to get used the the rough life, and I finally developed a steady routine. Wake up as the sun rose, get dressed, and wander around the barracks picking up thrown away sake bottles and other such items. By the time everyone woke I would be in the makeshift healing room, or retrieving supplies from Hantarou. Fight after lunch and then return to healing. Eat dinner and sleep. When the remaining two dropped out Tanaka and I would switch on supplies retrieval, after all we both needed a bit of peace before another hard day. Undermanned as we were, the days never truely ended until everyone was asleep, and sometimes not even then!

It wasn't until mid-summer when my life changed forever.

That day I hadn't slept so well, an old memory had haunted my dreams until I'd woken, covered in a cold sweat. Looking wildly around i searched for any sign that HE was here. Even as I relaxed the feeling of fear and forbodeing never left, and only grew stronger as the hours passed. Hiding my trepidition from Tanaka, I tried to keep working and not think about old memories or anything but my work. Unfortunately the day was slow, few men even came in. So when an uninjured Ikkaku walked in, I mentally groaned.

"Taichou needs to see you Ami." I could only nod and follow him in silence as we walked to the dineig hall where Kenpachi was eating. As we walked neither of us talked, he must know what this is all about, I mused looking at the back of his bald head. When Ikkaku and I walked in I found Kenpachi sittings quietly, sending glares at the corner of the room. Sitting beside Kenpachi was Yachirru and Yunichika.

"A-chan!" the pink haired fukitaichou called estatically waving her arms. I smiled warmly at the girl and sat in front of her and Kenpachi.

"You needed me?" He jerked his head to a messenger from first division. Well that explained the calculating glare he was sending the man.

"Yamamoto-dono has ordered me to convey tha a mission has been directly asigned to yourself, and the fourth and third seats of eleventh division." The news wasn't surprising, why else would he have been there? "He has ordered that the three of you are to go and find the whereabouts of a man called Sakiba Daairu." The blood that had previously been warm turned cold, and though I feigned attention, in reality I was too far gone in my mind to really listen to the man from first division. I had just been ordered to hunt down the worst man in the world.

My own father.


	4. Everyone has Secrets Chapter 4

The day was hot, heat simmered in the air as I watched the familiar world of Roukongai district 78 pass by. The village was run down, fights occured too frequently to replace the housings- even if a person had that kind of money to spend. Every coin went to food and water, the only things anyone really needed around here.

"What an ugly and desolate place" Yumchika muttered looking around as we walked passed age old buildings, starving children, and thugs who were cooling themselves off in the shade. I mentally thanked the soutaichou that he'd permitted us to wear colored yukatas, instead of our normal black and white would have been boiling! I'd gone to Isane in order to find a yukata that was too big and in no condition to be worn around the Serretti. I'd paid for it, of course, then scrubbed dirt and on wove some of the threads of the sleeves and bottom. It felt terrible having to tear such a nice thing, but what other choice did I have?

"Is it always like this?" Ikkaku asked, rubbing a shoulder as he walked steadily forewords.

"Hai. It always had been." I replied, low enough that only the two men whole walked on either side of me could hear me. "tch. Even 80th district was better than this."

Looking around, I realized that that's why we hadn't been attacked yet. Coming from the most dangerous district, where it was either fight or die, Yumicika and Ikkaku carried themselves like warriors, the sheathed zanpaktos at their waists only added to that effect. Another mental thanks went to the soutaichou. Some thugs eyed us as we walked past and I tried to keep my head up and my shoulders straight. I don't think I so well but at the very least I didn't walk like someone who was trying desperately not to be seen.

"Walk like a victim and that's what you'll be." I hadn't meant to say it outloud but I did, and Ikkaku nodded. At Yumchika's confused look I quickly explained, "It was something someone once told me. A very long time ago" He nodded his understanding and we kept on walking. We walked through different villages of 78th district but came up with nothing. As we rested for the night in the woods, Ikkaku made dinner,consisting mostly of the warm pork buns we'd bought before coming here.

"I understand why we're here, but Ami- why you?" Yumchika asked suddenly. I looked up at him, my eyes momentarily wide from the shock of the rather sudden question. I looked down not wanting to tell them the truth.

-Ikkaku PoV-

Yumichika and I gazed steadily at Ami waiting for an answer.

"Well?" I demanded not liking the fact that she was hiding something from us. And something pretty important by the looks of it.

"Maybe, so that if you two were injured I could heal you" The lie was obvious, and I would have lept at her and demanded the complete truth if it hadn't been of Yumchika, who placed a hand on my wrist. He shook his head and I huffed. Standing I walked off needing to blow some steam. By the time I returned Ami was asleep.

"Why'd you stop me?" I growled glaring at Yumchika

"Hmp." he flicked his hair aside, " Isn't it obvious? We will find out sooner or later."

"Knowing now would be better." I insisted Yumchika sighed, " How unbeautiful of you Ikkaku." He met my glare with am even look, "We all have our secrets" I humphed and sat down.

Morning found us all asleep, and as I lazily opened my eyes and sheilded the from the sun, I sat up. Yumchika was sleeping a frown on his face, probably from sleeping on the ground. I let a low chuckle escape from my lips. Turning I looked at the healer girl, and let out a sigh. She too was frowning and had curled up into a ball.

"Oi, bakas!" I yelled, "Time to move" Tiredly the two scowled at me, "It can wait an hour Ikkaku" Yumichika said. Ami made a resigned face and stood. Tossing her a cold bun I began to walk off, knowing that Yumchika would follow and grumble about how his beauty sleep had been interrupted. Sure enough that's what happened. I don't know when it was but Ami silently began to lead the way. She did know this district better than either of us. "Shouldn't we be heading into town?" Yumchika inquired noting that we were heading deeper into the forest. "He won't be in town." She said quietly. I glanced at the healer and blinked, her face was pale and her hands trembbled. She was scared of this Sakiba guy. My approval of her went up another notch. She never seemed to complain, her healing powers were very good, and now- even though she was frightened Ami continued to push forward.

"Is his rep that bad?" I asked, feeling excited at the prospect of meeting a good opponent out here.

"No." She paused, "He's my father."

Yumchika and I both stopped and stared at her. Silently the girl pressed forwards through the underbrush and nearly disappeared through a cluster of trees. Running to catch up, I stumbled into a clearing. Ami stood silently in front of me, gazing at the ramshackle cabin that must've once been her home. Her long black hair hung just a little below the shoulders, kept in a tight braid, while her pale blue eyes gazed at the unfocused at the clearing.

A loud yell and a crash interrupted the silence. A man stumbled from around the back of the cabin, scowling at the cut on his hand. A gourd hung on his left side, while a sword hung at his right. Sakibe Daairu seemed to sense us and looked up from his bleeding hand. His face was gaunt, his bristles from not having shaved in some time only added to his drawn appearance. But it was his well muscled body, undisturbed by the long years drew my attention. He was strong and at that moment I felt my blood begin to warm. I met his gaze and the cold chill or wariness and excitement went down my spine. He had the eyes of a man who had killed and the trace of madness within those two black eyes showed he could and would kill again. His thin lips parted, in a cold and cruel smile, revealing broken and a few missing teeth.

"Well well, look at who's finally come back."


	5. A Long Bath Chapter 5

~Ami's PoV~

I forced every muscle in my body to relax as my father's- no he didn't deserve to be called that- as Sakiba Daairu's gaze alighted on me filled with cruel intentions.

"Well well, look at who has finally come back." His voice was deeper than I remembered, and I forced myself not to flinch. When I was a little girl the tones of his voice tipped me off on wether it was safe to be around him. When he'd used the one he used now, I'd known that I should run and stay away.

I said nothing in return, just looked at the man and the place that I had spent my childhood. The worst years of my life.

"What do you mean there wasn't enough money?" My father roared, looking a the bag of rice I had just bought. It had been hard to carry it the entire way home, but I had been sure that father would be pleased. "T-t-the lady said that the cost had gone up." I stuttered, frightened of this domineering man. "You idiot!" His roar echoed through the entire house. That was the first time he hit me. I was barely six years old.

Even now hundreds of years later I still felt the burn on my face from that first hit.

"I told you the Serretti would never take in a weak girl like you. I was right after all." He began to laugh, harsh and grating. "So you've become a whore your pathetic dreams of joining the Gotei 13 were nothing."

Before I could blink Ikkaku had drawn his sword, glaring at the man who'd just insulted me.

"You will regret that!"

"Don't!" I yelled, grabbing Ikkaku's robe.

"Ami, are you just gunna stand there and let this guy talk down to you like that."

"I'm used to it." I murmured, "Now please stop."

"Ikkaku," Yumchika said coolly, "You need remember why we're here."

Ikkaku growled wordlessly, and sheathed his zanpakto.

"Listen up geezer, we are here to take you back to the Serretti. So you can either come with us willingly or I'll force you to come."

Sakiba looked at Ikkaku and then at Yumchika, then burst out laughing. His humor left as fast as it had come. Brushing his back his wild, unkept hair out of his face Sakiba fixed Ikkaku and Yumchika with a fierce glare.

"Come back in a hundred years! I don't fight weaklings."

That was it for Ikkaku, and he charged forward. Sakiba barely had anytime to dodge, but somehow managed to lunge out of the way.

"Who that hell're you callin weak ya' drunk!" Ikkaku yelled chargeing again.

Sakiba planted his feet steadily in the ground and waited as Ikkaku's sword sliced that air. Suddenly it stopped, and Ikkaku's eyes widened. Sakiba had grabbed the blade and was holding it, even as it bit into his already injured palm.

"Not bad." Ikkaku scowled at Sakiba's comment. "But did you really think that that was going to even hit me?"

A large and heavy pressure suddenly erupted from Sakiba, and Ikkaku jumped away caught by surprise at the strength of his reaitsu. Sweat broke out on Yumchika's brow, and even though I had been exposed to this before, I too struggled against his reaitsu. Sakiba flash stepped and reappeared behind Ikkaku, slicing his back with his sword. Ikkau winced and Sakiba flash stepped once more, appearing a few feet away.

Yumchika silently watched the duel that had broken out. Intending on trying to break the two up (how I would've done that I don't know) I stepped forwards only to be stopped by Yumchika's outstretched arm. I looked up at him, and he spared me a glance before returning to regard the battle going on in front of us. "Don't, let Ikkaku have his fun."

The battle escalated to the point where both men had somehow managed to call out their shikas. Ikkaku moved with lithe speed, wielding his spear with practiced ease. He moved easily, always adjusting to Sakiba's movements, all the while yelling obscenities. I realized when his spear split into pieces that he'd been going easy on Tanaka, and that his limits far outstretched my own. Looking over at my- at Sakiba my eyes widened. He hadn't even begun to sweat, whereas Ikkaku was lightly panting. They had been fighting for almost an hour, and I knew then that Sakiba was playing with him. Like a cat playing with its food, right before it killed it.

I watched the fight waiting of the inevitable. It never came, the moment Ikkaku realized what was going on his own reaitsu grew as though he was angered, which he probably was, and with one powerful attack threw Sakiba into the nearby pond. A loud crack sounded as Sakiba's head hit a rock.

Yumchika walked towards Ikkaku, and I warily went to the pond. Sakiba had sunk a little, and for a moment I was torn. I could let him remain there and drown. Every worry I'd had about him killing me would end and I would finally be free from him. But did I want his death on my mind? He would win that way- I would be forever haunted by something I could've easily prevented. But did he deserve it?

~Yumchika's PoV~

Ikkaku and I watched Ami, as she stood knee deep, in the pond looking down into the water.

"Think she'll do it?" Ikkaku asked

As we watched Ami seemed to sigh and lean down, dragging the unconscious Sakiba Daairu to the shore.

Ikkaku grunted. I stood and walked over to the pond's shore. Taking up the man we'd been searching for, I looked down at Ami.

"You'll have a lot of explaining to do."

"I know."

She walked over to Ikkaku and slung one of his arms over her narrow shoulders. Supporting him she began to walk away, and I followed focusing my attention on my awful smelling and ugly burden.

"When we return I am taking a long bath." I muttered


	6. Ami's Fear Chapter 6

-Ami's PoV-

Camping that night was silent, as two pairs of expectant eyes gazed at me, waiting for whatever it was I was going to say. Knowing I didn't have a choice in the matter, I ate, wondering where to begin. As usual it was the now bandaged, Ikkaku who broke first "Are you just going to sit there or are you actually going to talk?"

I flinched, and warily eyed our- well Ikkaku's- prisoner. He'd woken not long after we'd set up camp, and had nearly escaped when Ikkaku had lost his temper and knocked him out using the hilt of his sword.

Looking back at the two warriors who sat across from me, I quickly looked at the forest floor, "I was six or so year old when it all really started." I touched my cheek, feeling the burn of that first hit. "That was the first time… He'd lost his temper and he hit me." Turning my gazed to the fire, I recited the tale I'd told Unahanna Taichou all those years ago.

"As first it was just slaps, when he was too drunk to care, or when he'd lost a fight. He wasn't the same as is now, not back then. I didn't really mind in those days, cause I used to think it was my fault. Things changed when I came home one day. He must have been drinking for quite some time before then. I had just returned from my first day at working at an inn. We passed it on the way here."

"He yelled at me, and punched me. Somehow he never hit where it would show, except for that first time…" I trailed off, caught up in memories, "I don't remember how many more times after that but it was after one of those beatings that I decided to enter the Soul academy. I never told him, for I'd always heard him curse soul reappears and the Serretti. The day he found out…. I could barely walk afterwards. I don't remember how but the next thing I knew I was in fourth division."

"Unahanna Taichou tried to figure out who it was that had hurt me but I remained silent. When I was able I returned here. I was about to step into the cabin, when I saw that man muttering and glaring at a fire. Beside him was my class uniform and my books. I watched as he burned them. I did the only thing that I've ever really been good at- I ran away. Unahana Taichou remitted me to stay after hearing me out."

Silence welcomed the end of my short story. I had omitted as much as I dared under the circumstances, but there were some things that should always be private. I hadn't been raped, but there had always been those brushes with death, and close calls. They didn't need to know. Besides it wasn't really all that important any ways.

"I knew I disliked that bastard." Ikkaku grumbled. Yumchika looked at me, like he was studying and interesting object, then almost gravely he said,"So that's why you're afraid of men."

His soft voice cut across my thoughts and I jerked, looking at him in blatant shock.

"W-what?"

"It was always obvious. Ever since you've entered our division I'd noticed how you tended to flinched away from people touching you. Even in fourth division that only guy you don't seem frightened of at all in Hantarou."

Gentle eyes locked onto mine, "Don't worry about it anymore, no one in eleventh division will ever abuse you. I promise you that."

I looked at Ikkaku and Yumchika with surprise then I smiled warmly. "arigatou."Ikkaku crossed his arm and looked the other way, embarrassed while Yumchika just smiled.


	7. Bruised Chapter 7

We returned to the Seiretei a couple of days later, bruised and in Ikkaku's case irate. Sakiba had somehow managed to keep on breaking out of his rope bundings, and everytime he'd go after one of us, generally though it was me and Ikkaku.

I can now say that that man hates me more now than he ever did- in other words I've signed my death warrant. It took awhile bit after his fourth try of beating us to death, I finally managed to convince Ikkaku and Yumchika to let me use a sealing kido. The only reason I won the argument was because I could guarantee that he wouldn't be able to escape, his reaitsu would be suppressed and he wouldn't cause any more trouble. This meant that by the time we returned I was barely able to stand I was so tired. Maintaining multiple kidos at once drains you. After handing over the snoring Sakiba, a kido done by yours truly, we made our way to eleventh division. The walk felt like hours and when we finally walked through the gates I fell to the ground.

Sleep had never been sweeter.

I don't know how long I was out but when I woke I was in my room, an certain pink haired child leaning over my face. "Wakey, wakey Kuro-chan!"

I scowled up at the all too cheerful girl, forgetting momentarily that she was my fukitaichou.

"Ken-chan said to he was going to wake you up himself, if you didn't get up and come!"

I jerked, "I'm up I'm up!" and jumped out of bed, only to groan in pain as stiff muscles and bruises made themselves known. Trying to move quickly, I washed off my body decideing that my hair could wait for an hour. Throwing on my now clean, uniform i pulled on the silver chain choker.

"Which way?" I asked as Yachirru jumped onto my shoulder. The kid's probably faster than I am, so I have no idea why she does that. She pointed and I began walking, "Neh! Neh! We gotta hurry! Ken-chan's waiting!"

I sighed and began to run, "Turn!" I nearly gave myself whiplash at the sudden command, but did as I was ordered. We had been running around for what must have been hours and it wasn't until we nearly ran into the wall that I realized that Kenpachi was on the otherside of the Seiretei.

I mentally groaned, and shunpoed to his location.

"WAH! Sugoi sugoi!" Yachirru yelled, jumping off my shoulder, "You were pretty fast!"

Looking at Yachirru I watched as she lept up onto Kenpachi's shoulder. I bowed, to his turned back. "Taichou."

"Oi. Why'd you miss fighting yesterday?"

"I was sleeping sir."

He turned, and manicle amber eyes zeroed on me. "Let me see your power."

"e-eh?" I backed up a step. "W-w-w-what are you talking about?"

"That Sakiba guy. Ikkaku said he was strong. You gotta have learned something from him. I know it wasn't those healing skills of yours." He stepped forward, a grin begining to streatch across his face.

"Yay! Kenny's gunna get to have some fun!" Yachirru slid off Kenpachi's shoulder and dashed off, that did not help my situation one bit.

Kenpachi stepped foreward and I coppied with a step backwards.

"N-no, sir. He didn't!" I waved my hands in front of me. "Honest!"

"Show me." Slowly he began to slide out his zanpakto, his grin spreading.

"T-t-taichou, really, you have the completely wrong idea."

Zaraki Kenpachi lungned foreward, and I screamed.


	8. One Problem after Another Chapter 8

I rushed passed buildings, and shinigami alike trying to escape from my insane taichou.

"You can't escape for long girl!"

I dodged around a corner, and repressed my reaitsu as much as I could. Zaraki dashed by me, a little more than a blur. Yachirru following on the roof above him, giggleing audibly. I sighed in releife. "That was close..." Steping out from the wall, I began to walk towards eleventh division. Occasionally looking over my shoulder to make sure that the fighting maniac didn't appear out of no where and start hacking at me. By the time I finally reached eleventh division I was moody, and when I saw who waited for me I wanted to die right then and there.

Ikkaku smirked at me, totally bashed from all his recent drinking, while a young man sat beside him, ingoring the man with the shaved (and shiny) head. Yoshihiko looked over through the gates hearing my appproach. Just like in the old days, a white toothed grin broke out across his face and he stood, as he called out to me. We had been in the same class, durring the time I'd spent at the Soul Academy. He was the rich boy around, from whatever branch of some stupid family or another. Every girl had swooned over him, and called him perfect and handsome. When I looked at him now, I still saw the same thing I'd seen all those years ago. A lightly tanned face, with even and regulars features, and nothing to distinguish them but his eyes, which were a dark violet. His black hair was held neatly back, in a tie, though it wasn't really necessary.

Yoshihiko pranced over, and cupped my chin turning my face this way and that, as he grin grew even larger. "My, my. You've become quite the angel Ami-chan."

I batted away his hand, finding myself irritated at his treatment. He was like a greedy merchant, eyeing a toy he found interesting.

"Yoshihiko-san." I said, feigning surprise. Ikkaku choked back a laugh- at that moment I hated his guts.

"I had heard you'd been moved to this division. The moment I found out I came to see how my lovely angel was."

"I see. well as you can see I really am fine. So please, I do not wish to take anymore timr from your percious work." I said hurriedly, trying to get him out of my sight and hearing capabilities.

"Ami-chan," He grabbed my hand and pulled it towards his face, "'m flattered by your concern for my work."

DON'T BE! I thought viciously.

"However, I was wondering if you wanted to go to dinner with me. Surely after all this..." He paused to find the right word, "inelegance, and disgraceful lack of conduct and mess of sweaty and stupid men." Yoshihiko continued on that vein for awhile, never noticeing the growing dangerous aura that surrounded Ikkaku who glared at him with murderuos intent, "and lazy bums, surely you would prefere the company of a more sofisticated and noteably handsome man, such as myself."

His ego was as big as ever, and I sighed. The killer aura had grown and still Yoshihiko still hadn't noticed. And his density hasn't changed either. I began to try and think of ways to refuse him when Ikkaku started forward, his zanpakto drawn.

"WHAT? You wanna say that again!"

Yoshihiko ran and Ikkaku chased after him, yelling obscenities along the way. 


	9. Disturbed Peace and Trouble Chapter 9

Life continued on. Every day I fought to avoid Zaraki Taichou, and everyday I was forced to fight. In truth, a part of me, one I had thought had been burried long ago, was enjoying the fighting and more than one I found myself observing battles with a critical eye. Finding myself doing this for the third time in one day, I came to the realization that I was changeing, and not in a way that I approved. After three days of tirelessly working to avoid battles, I admitted to defeat. I was going to change whether I liked it or not.

"But why did it have to be this? It's more like a regression..." I muttered one evening, as I scowled up at the ceiling of my room. The place still looked empty. What did I need a room for? I was already centered, I felt no need to create another place- and definatly not one that could be so easily exposed. Reminded of my tru home, I closed my eyes and breathed in and out. Slipping away from conscienceness, I allowed my mind to slip through layers of memories, and soundless dreams, until I finally reached the door.

It wasn't large, or decorative- it was just a regular door. A rich mohagany, with creme color paper screens. Sliding it open, I stepped through and smiiled as a warm breeze swept past. The door slid sliently shut behind me, as I walked across the grass covored hills. This was my room, my home, the place that no shinigami, spirit, or hollow could reach; for it was deep inside my mind, protected by layers of memories, and kidos which I had place on myself.

Walking over the crest of a hill, I looked at what lay before me. A large lake the color of the deep twilight screatched in front of me, reflecting the two crescent moons that drifted over head. I smiled, and walked towards the shore of the great lake. Stepping into the water i waited. Slowly the waters rolled, getting higher and higher, until the hills that streatched behind me were barely visible. Through the parting waves a small palace rose from the water, the spitting image of the one I'd used to live in, in an entirely different life. The warm water eventually ceased their movement and the lake immediately returned to its motionless state, becomming a mirror once more.

Noting that the usual path to my home was not appearing, I rolled my eyes and swam to the steps of the palace. When I stood at the towering doors of the main entrance, I was neither wet nor cold. Raiseing a hand I was poised to knock when the doors, slowly swung back, with the slow, noble groaning that befitted such large and elegant doors. When they were fully opened, they revealed a man standing there.

Maroon eyes met blue and I felt his irritation, though he kept his face clear. "Welcome home, my shinigami master."

"I'm home, Kuroryu."

My zanpakto scowled at me, making his already handsome face even more so. Is there any expression that doesn't look good on this guy? I wondered. It's true, Kuroryu(black dragon) was handsome. A perfectly formed face, framed by straight black hair that was controlled only by a deep red tie. He had a lean but tall figure, easily reaching Zaraki taichou's hieght without being overbearing or scary in the least. Kuroryu was the definition of elegance when he moved in either form, dragon or human. Seeing him once again, sent a pang of remorse through my chest. I hadn't come home in almost three months...

My face must have betrayed my emotions (again) cause his face softened and he walked forewards, to wrap me in his warm arms. In his arms I felt safe, and whole. No man, human or shinigami, had ever man me feel this way, but then again, Kuro and I had always been together, long before I had achieved shikai, or even knew of his existance.

"I missed you." His voice, low and melodious was pure music. Somehow he knew exactly what to say to make me feel needed and warm. Honestly, if I try to look back on my past and figure out how I had managed to survive without him I always came up with nothing. But before you say anything I will say this- I am not in love with him.

Pulling away from his embrace, I began walking towards my room. Kuro easilly caught up with me, and began telling me about the my world. Somethings needed repairs, cause I hadn't been around in awhile. He continued on the semi-long list for some time, while I chose to lay on my futon.

"Hey, Kuro. He's back."

"I know."

"Do you have any ideas why they want him?"

"I can think of a few but none are good."

I sighed, tiredly, "Same goes for me."

Kuro laid beside me, presumably examining my face. Opening my left eye, I quirked my brows at the slight frown on his face. "You are tired. In more ways than one. It's begining to show..." He reached out and pressed his smooth hand against my forehead, which had been wrinkled in a frown.

"Great. Like I need more worries." I saud, partially jokeing. He knew I was teaseing an ignored me. "Why do you not call me, when you fight those brutes?"

"Because I can handle it. Why?" I asked, sitting up and crossing my legs.

Kuroryu sat up, as look of slight shame mixed with self-irritation written in his face, "I am finding it harder to resist returning to my dragon form, when you are fighting, or are tense."

"Hmmm." I pondered for a moment, intending to find some solution or another. Suddenly, a chill went through my body. Someone was touching my physical self. Kuro nodded, and readied himself. I closed my eyes.

Opening my eyes, I sat up and grabbed the person's wrist, and in a single, well practiced movement, called Kuro, who appeared in plain katana form in my hand. "Whoever you are, you had better have a damn good explaination, or I swear I will kill you now." My voice was dark, almost unrecognizeable to my own ears.

Sudden light, bright and strong flared into my room, and I shut my eyes instinctivly. The wrist I'd been holding jerked from my hand in a powerful flick, and the familiar voice of Ikkau drawled, "Well, I never knew you had a zanpakto healer.."

Aww, shit.


	10. Secrets Chapter 10

I looked down, and the met the gaze of the third seat of Eleventh Squad. Can this just not be happening? I mentally asked. Silently I rolled off the older shinigami, Kuroryu still in my hand. He pulsed in my hand, calling for blood. I regarded the two men who had invaded my room, and had just found out one of my secrets. They looked at me, Yumichika with a gaze more critical of my appearance, and my blade. Ikkaku dark eyes remained fixated on my visage and occasionally flicked to Kuro. A slow grin spread across his face, and I twitched, knowing that look all too well.

"Fight me."

"No."

Ikkaku blinked, a look of momentary surprise flickered across his face, before quickly fading into irritation. "Why not?" His voice was low, not quite a growl but definitely not what it normally was when he spoke.

"Why are you guys here?" I demanded, trying to get out of the situation.

"Answer the question, healer girl, before I decide to attack you." Ikkaku really was growling now, and I scowled. Standing I glared down at him, "Not until you tell me why the hell you two are in my room."

A stalemate ensued, both Ikkaku and I equally unwilling to look away from the others glare. I sensed Yumichika reiatsu as he glanced between us. At first it was steady, but as the silence stretched it began to waver in uncertainty. I had never shown either of these two such a backbone, and as we continued to glare at one another Yumichika seemed to be able to sense that no matter what I wasn't going to back down. My secrets were worth that much to me.

"Unahanna Taichou sent a hell butterfly to Zaraki Taichou, with a request that you came over to Fourth Division. The message said it was of some importance."

Ikkaku broke away from our stare down, to scowl at his friend. I nodded, and began walking towards my open door.

"Oi! Answer me!" Ikkaku called, his reiatsu flaring.

I was right by my door, and turned my head to the side. I knew my eyes were empty, and cold. "Tell anyone about this and you will pay." I slammed Kuro into the wall, as he shattered. As the tiny pieces fell to the floor they disappeared in black flames. I walked off, knowing that this probably wasn't the last I had heard from them.

Ikkaku would want a fight, and eventually a fight, he would get.

As I walked away out of Eleventh Division and towards fourth, I exerted myself, knowing that if I showed up as I was now; I would have to give explanations I wasn't ready to give. Everyone has their secrets- mine were worth dying for.

~Ikkaku PoV~

I watched in shock as her zanpakto fell to the floor, disappearing in black flames. Ami's eyes had burned themselves into my mind, a stare that at seen bloodshed and had caused it. Adrenaline flowed through my veins in a rapid plus. The excitement within me burned; those eyes… I wanted to see them again... I wanted them to look at me with that killing intent. I shivered, and a chuckle passed my lips, as I stood.

Yumichika watched me, a small slightly exasperated smile on his face. "You really are going to get her to fight you aren't you?" It wasn't a real question, and together we walked out of the undecorated room, sliding the door closed behind us.

"Yeah…"

The moon was at its zenith, a pale golden crescent in the black sky. I waited in a glade, knowing that Ami would show. A true warrior never turned down a direct challenge, especially if the challenge also had a threat to it. Yumichika was hidden by the bamboo, having said that he wouldn't allow me to fight without him being there.

The wind sighed through the glade, rustling the leaves, and the low, slightly musical thunk of the bamboo stalks, hitting one another, filled the air. Geez, not even once had I thought that 80th district had a nice spot like this… Something moved, and my gaze snapped to the area in front of me, as a white foot stepped from the shadows. The foot was followed by another and the body. Ami's pale blue eyes flashed in the dim light.

"I knew you would come." I said, my lips curling in a smirk.

"Why are you doing this?" Her voice wavered, and I frowned, no bloodlust colored her reiatsu, just fear and… irritation?

"I want to fight you." I said easily, putting my own zanpakto on my shoulder. "Besides, since you obviously don't want to be discovered I thought you might fight if we were far out."

"I refuse." The blunt statement caught me off guard and I nearly slipped on the smooth, slightly dewy grass. "Huh?" I looked at her, meeting the stubborn gaze of the healer.

"I will not fight you."

My eyes narrowed into slit, "You don't have a choice, girl. The moment you chose to come you chose to fight." Drawing my zanpakto I charged. She dodged out of the way, but was too slow to avoid a slight scrap across a cheek.

"Fight me!" I yelled- how I burned for a challenge.

~Ami PoV~

He was fast. Certainly I had seen him fight before, but not like this. Not like the demon that now stood before me. I dodged again, wincing at the shallow cut across my upper arm. I felt Kuro roar in irritation, fight him he called. Show him the true power that we hold. Why does everyone want me to fight? I demanded to the sky, panting lightly, as I watched Ikkaku's spear. He had summoned his shikai at some point, thought I couldn't recall when. Something inside of me snapped, as his spear thunked into the bamboo stalk behind me, just as I moved my heading to the other side. Too close, and I had had enough.

I lashed out with one leg, in a powerful snap kick, which sent the third seat flying across the glade. Tugging his zanpakto out of the stalk of bamboo, I threw it at its wielder and watched as Ikkaku caught it and spun in expertly around him. A grin decorated his shaven face and I glared.

"Summon your shadows, and cover the world in darkness. Roar, Kuroryu." My voice was empty, a nothingness that accompanied every battle. In my right hand, appeared a small scythe, which had a long chain attached to its end. The chain was neatly wound and hung in four loops in my grasp. As the chain began its fifth loop it straightened, and I held in my grasp, a sliver dagger. Kuro freed for the first time in almost a century roared his challenge.

"Remember Ikkaku Madarame. You brought this one yourself." I said. Swiftly and silently I charged.

~Yumichika PoV~

I gasped, as Ami charged forward, her speed nothing like it once had been. Ikkaku brought up his spear, barely managing to defend himself in time as the scythe end of Ami's zanpakto sliced through the air with deadly aim. The healer turned assassin, appeared behind Ikkaku, her dagger gleaming in the dim light. A warning clenched in my throat, but Ikkaku must've been prepared for something like that for he jumped into the air, avoiding the throwing scythe once again.

Shinigami clashed, again, and again, ever searching for an opening which would result in the other's downfall.


	11. A Big Boom and Broken Ice Chapter 11

Ami gazed silently at the wall, her lips pursed, as Tanaka tended to her wounds. I watched, amused. Ikkaku was sitting up and pulling on his shinigami robes, covering his bandaged arms and chest.

"I can't believe the two of you. Going out to fight hollows at this time of night? And in 80th district? What did you expect?" Tanaka groused, as he finished bandaging his fellow healer. Ami said nothing, concentrating more on keeping silent. When he finished, Ami rolled her sleeve back down, hiding her bandaged left arm.

_The two had fought for quite some time. I had watched waiting expectantly for the healer to go down first, and for it all to be through but it never happened. The two charged again and clashed in a flurry of blades and chains. As far as I could tell Ami and Ikkaku were going all out. The two warriors gazed at each other, bent over slightly as they fought to catch their breath. Suddenly, Ami straightened, and her cool voice called across the glade, "Madarame, I'm tired of playing around."The next thing I saw was her scythe wrapped around Ikkaku's neck, poised to take his life. It hit me, and I stared at the small woman in surprise. _

Ikkaku walked out of the room, and I followed, noting the cold glance Tanaka sent at Ikkaku's back. He must have set Ikkaku as his rival. The thought amused me, even more than the unbeautiful healer. "Well?" Ikkaku asked, as he put his hands behind his head. He wanted the truth, all of it, despite the fact he knew he probably wouldn't like what I was going to say.

Looking at his back, I sighed and then shifted my gaze to look up at the dark sky, "She could've ended the whole thing in the first few moments Ikkaku."

"Yeah…"

The moon was three quarters of the way across the sky, only a few hours from the horizon. "Yumichika… She knew, every time our weapons met, she knew."

"Knew?"

"…it's nothing…" Ikkaku walked down the hall turning away from the night and heading for our room. I regarded his back for a moment then followed. Looks like his own secret has been discovered- another reason to add to the growing list of why that healer was unbeautiful.

~Ami PoV~

I sighed, watching the battles that took place on the training grounds. Due to my wounds, I'd been excused for the time being, which allowed me to study Ikkaku's movements and his actions towards me. Yumichika had greeted me as he normally did, saying that Ikkaku was already training. As we'd walked together Yumichika had talked as he normally did, never once hinting of what had happened not many hours ago. Now we stood, side by side, watching Ikkaku kick Tanaka's ass, again. The two men had been fighting for an hour, and I had begun to notice something about the two shinigami's movements. Tanaka was becoming rough, his normally cool, well studied gaze was now lit with blood lust.

"Yumichika…."

"I see it." The reply was easy and glancing up at the superior officer, I noticed how sharp his gaze had become, focused on nothing more than the battle that took place in front of him. Tanaka landed in a tree and began muttering. Sweeping his shika in front of him, three more Tanakas appeared and attacked Ikkaku. Tanaka continued murmuring, and I gasped, realizing what he was attempting to do. "No. Tanaka, don't!"

I hurriedly began muttering, my light purple reiastu glowing dimly around my body. "Try again boy!" Ikkaku launched himself into the air, spear poised to strike. "DIE Madarame!" Tanaka released his kido; the ball whirled through the air, pulsating a black red. "Kamis of the earth, and sky. Protect. Kido 47- Kami no Ryu!" The energy snapped from my body and I collapsed as the earth rose up in front of Ikkaku, who watched wide eyed as the ball expanded and exploded at it hit the raised earth.

Cries filled the air as the explosion and the tremors that followed rushed at the viewers; bodies flew past me, as a warm body lay over my own, covering me. The wind and tremors ceased almost as suddenly as they'd started. "Well, that was lovely." Yumichika breathed, his lips brushing against my ear. I said nothing, the world was fuzzy and the ground moved.

The pressure was off my body, and Yumichika helped me stand. "How unbeautiful." He murmured, supporting me. "You look awful." "You sure know how to make as girl feel better don't you?" I gasped, hoping that the world would stop spinning sometime soon. "Ikkaku?"

"He's perfectly safe. And that ugly Tanaka boy is unconscious."

The sound of heavy footfalls reached my ears, as Yumichika tensed beside me. "Hn. Sore loser. OI, what happened to her?" I should've known that voice, but at the moment I was discovering something even more important than figuring out who it was that roughened timbre and that overpowering reiatsu.

"Ami-chan protected Ikkaku, Taichou."

"Eh? She used kido too, stupid girl."

I groaned lowly, breaking up whatever conversation Yumichika was having with that voice. "Yumi… bushes…"

"Eh?"

With the last bit of energy I had I pulled myself away from Yumichika's support and ran towards the nearest bit or shrubbery. Not a moment too soon, apparently, for my stomach heaved and out came everything I had eaten for breakfast, and my late night dinner. My mind vaguely noted the warm hand that held back my hair, as my stomach emptied itself into the unsuspecting bushes. It probably was not the first time these bushes had been used this way, and in all likelihood it probably wasn't the last either.

The moment my body was certain that my stomach had been emptied entirely, I collapsed backwards against a warm chest. "Gomen…" I murmured, before closing my eyes, and submerging into blissful unawareness. The last thing I remember feeling, was warm arms encircling me and cradling my body, as if I were nothing more than as small child.

Ikkaku Madarame watched as Tanaka began his punishment, some three days after he'd blown everything to bits. The sun shone bright, and hot, making his shaved head gleam. Tanaka's dark hair, and tanned torso were already soaked in sweat. Of course other shinigami- those who had pissed the Captain off recently- helped. The kid grumbled under his breath, low enough that he was the only one who could hear, luckily for him. Ikkaku pushed himself off the brand new barracks wall, and walked into the more shaded, and definitely cooler air that the barracks were provided with.

Yawning, the third seat of Squad Eleven walked through the halls, taking the occasional right then left, until he came to a stop at specific door. "Oi, you awake?" He called, feeling awkward at the concern he felt of the person within the room.

Yumichika slid open the door, and smiled, "I was just doing Ami's hair. Come in." Walking in the third seat nearly laughed at the pale faced girl, who looked absolutely miserable. Ikkaku allowed an amused expression to cross his face as he sat down beside Ami. Yumichika returned to his seat behind his helpless victim, and resumed his work.

"Looks like you're doing better."

Ami looked at him, wary for a moment, before sighing and saying in a small voice, "I guess…" Irritation stung the third seat; surely she'd know him well enough by now. Surely she knew that he would never lay a hand on her to injure her without good reason. A fight being the only good reason.

"I don't bite ya' know." Ikkaku grumbled. For a moment outright disbelief crossed the young woman's face before she looked slightly abashed. "Sorry."

Yumichika tugged her ebony locks, "Stop tossing your head all around! I cannot take out all these awful knots if you swing your head around so wildly." Two pairs of eyes, one pale blue, the other maroon, looked at the feminine man, as their voice said in unison, "Stop exaggerating!"

Man and woman started, and looked at one another before all three began to laugh. The ice had finally broken between the woman and these two men.


	12. The Next Day Gets Worse Chapter 12

Today just sucks, Ami thought, as she cleaned up the remains of yet another drinking party.

The previous night Matsumoto had walked in, followed by Kira, and an uneasy looking Hisagi. All three were loaded with bottles of sake. "It's time to drink!" The large breasted fuki taichou of tenth division had yelled. Cheers rung throughout the mess hall, and soon empty bottles, and drunken fools were everywhere, even Tanaka joined the ranks of drunks. Ami had sat between Ikkaku and Zaraki Taichou, and watched in disgusted awe as more bottles appeared, seemingly out of no where.

A large hand placed a cup in front of her, and poured sake int the dainty cup, "You should drink." Ami had looked up and met the gaze of Zaraki, and reluctantly sighed before tossing back the drink. He had refilled her cup multiple times, and at somepoint durring the party she had passed out. When she'd woken up early this morning, she'd found herself in the arms of a half naked Zaraki Kenpachi. One could imagine her shock and more so, her palatble refliefe when she discovored that she had all of her clothes on and untouched.

Now here she was, in the late afternoon, cleaning up the mess, while the last effects of the previous night, thumped lowly in the back of her mind. One bottle after another made it to the bag, and when the hall was finally bottle free, a large pile of overstuffed bags filled one corner of the room.

"Why do you even bother?" Tanaka's voice was hard, and the grumpy look on his face told Ami that he had drunk more than he should've last night.

Ami shrugged, "Someone has to do it, if not them, or you, then I'll do it. Besides it's better than havving to train."

Taking a tie out, ami pushed up her sleeves and pants, getting ready to clean the floor. Tanaka sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair before joining his fellow healer. Together the two shinigami healers ran up and down the mess hall, cleaning the floors. With two people working at the same time, Ami found that the work went by faster and soon the two were hauling their bucket full of dirty water outside.

Tanaka and Ami talked, about themselves, their studies, friends, and even their shared job.

"So, you seem to be hanging out with the Madarame and Asegawa a lot, these days."

Ami looked at him, then turned back towards the path. "Yes, we've reached an understanding of sorts."

Silently she placed one of the buckets down, and then tossed the water out of the other one.

"I didnt mean to offend you or anything.. I was just making an observance..." Tanak said, mimcking her movements.

"Well, they've become like my brothers, in a way. Sure Ikkaku's a bit of a brute and Yumichika's feminin but they do have sides to them that you dont know about." Ami's voice, was quiet but strong, as she expressed her thoughts to her superior.

Tanaka tossed his second bucket's contents onto the dry ground, and watched as the parched soil, dank up the dirtied water, "You should be more careful with them." He muttered. Abruptly he turned, and walked away, leaving behind the buckets. Ami watched his back, until it disappeared around the corner, "I think I need to be more carefull around you." she murmured, recalling his explosve and very dangerous kido.

* * *

Exausted after the days' work of cleaning, and carting off bottles, Ami yawned and streatched in the infirmery. Tanaka hadn't returned here after their conversation and Ami had dismissed it as him being grumpy and hungover. He probably had gone out to get supplies.

"Oi! Ami!" Ikakku called, sliding open the door, as Ami jumped in surprise.

"Ikakku! Don't scare me like that!" She cried, as the third seat walked over, and looked down at his friend.

Ami looked up at him, her face showing her confusion, "Ikakku?"

Maroon eyes blinked, and a familiar half smile crosssed his face. "You're commin with us."

"Eh?" Ikkaku grabbed her wrist, and pulled Ami out of the infirmery, and down the hall. Yumichika joined up with the two, and finally Ami, tired of being pulled jerked away frm Ikakku's grasp. "Where are you two taking me?" She demanded.

"Why, dinner of course." Yumichika said, eyes showing mild surprise, more so at her statement rather than her words. As long as she was with the two, Ami was open and somewhat firey, showing the spirit that had been repressed for a long time.

"What? why?" Ami asked, as the two started to walk on. She caught up with them, and took her normal spot between the two.

"You didn't tell her Ikkaku? How messily done."

"Ah, hush Yumichika." Ikkaku muttered.

Ami looked at Yumichika knowing she would get the answers she wanted from him. His violet eyes briefly met her ice blue eyes, and he smiled. "You are always doing some work or another, cleaning up after us" Ami blushed slightly, not knowing that they'd been watching her, "healing, and then training even though you hate it, so we decided to treat you tonight as a.. thank you."

Ami smiled, "You guys dont have to you know."

They just shrugged, Ikakku looked slightly embarassed, and Yumichika just smiled. They lead her out of the Seireiti and into the first district, where they ate the finest food, and then they paid, even though Ami protested against it. When Ami returned to her room, she had a happy smile on her face, and fell asleep with it still on. Maybe this day wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

The sun was setting the next day, when Ami ran into HIM, on her way back from delievering her reports to Unahanna Taichou. The two looked at each other. Sakiba smirked, "We need to have a long talk girl." Dumfounded Ami had watched him walk away, his captain's robe swirling behind him.

Numbness crawled through her, and she stumbbled back toward her divison. This could not be happening.


	13. Hell 1 and Hell 2 Chapter 13

~Yumichika PoV~

I watched as Ikakku paced a trail in the dry ground. He could have been attempting to make a trench, with the ammount of pacing he was doing. If it hadn't been so unbarably hot today, I might have done something similar. No, it would befit my beauty.

"Ikkaku, relax, I'm sure she doesn't know yet."

Ikkaku stopped paceing, looking at the entrance to our divison. I stood and walked over to stand beside him. It was Ami, her distraught face told us what we need to know. I really dislike being wrong.

~Nobody's PoV~

The two male soul reaper walked over to the healer, stopping just in front of them. "He here.." Was all she said.

Silently, Yumichika picked her up, and put her on Ikakku's back. The young woman clung to him, and Ikkaku felt his heart twing when he felt her body shaking. The two walked towards ttheir shared room, and put her on the floor where they all sat in sience.

Yesterday the 68th court had held a hearing for Sakiba Daairu and had reinstated the former soul reaper, naming him the Captain of Fifth Division. The news had spread quickly, though had somehow managaed to evade Ami's ears until she'd run into him. When Ikkaku and Yumichika had heard their first concern was how to tell Ami, but now, as they sat in thier room, they wondered how they were going to keep the newest Capatin away from the healer.

"Ikkaku... Yumi? could one of you go to the infirmery and get two of the heavy douse sleeping pills?"

"That's not the way to fight this, girl." Ikkaku said, watchign his pale friend.

"Just for tonight. Please." she looked at Ikkaku, and the man was reminded of a girl he'd once met on a mission, she had had the same teary and lost eyes that Ami now had. Ikakku sighed, and nodded. "alright."

Wordlessly Yumichika shunpoed out of the room, and to the infirmiery, where he grabbed the requested pill, and shunpoed back to the room. Ami quietly thanked him, and took the pill. They watched as, almost imediately, the drug took effect, and she curled up in Ikkaku futon, and slept, wishing that this was nothing more than a bad dream.

~Ami PoV~

I was out for hours, possibly even a full day, before I resubmerged myself in reality. Kuroryu had helped me coupe with the truth of the matter, and I mentally prepared myself as I woke to the voice and pokes of Yachiru. "Neh, neh, Ami-Ami! Time to wakey wakey!"

"Wha..?" I sat up, rubbing my eyes, and was greeted with the sight of a bag of konpeito suger candy. "Here yah go! They're my favorite, and sometime Kenny like em too!" Yachiru said,bouncing around my room, munching on candy from another bag.

"Thank you fuku taichou." I murmured, respectfully, takeing the bag and tying it up.

Yachiru turned around and looked at me with an adorable pout on her face, "nonononono! It's Ya-chan!"

I blinked at the girl in surprise, "What? But that disre-" Her red eyes narrowed; havving seen this face before when she picked on Ikakku I quickly backtracked. "H-hai, fuku- I mean, Ya-chan..."

"YAYA!" The gril bounced up and down then hugged me.

"ano, Ya-chan, why are you here?" I asked, curiously.

"Eh? Oh right! Kenny says to meet him for a mission! Ja!" THe little girl raced out of my room as I cried out, "Whaaaaaat?'

Quickly I bathed, and dressed. Braiding my hair back, I raced out of my room, down the hall, and outside, where the Taichou was waiting for me.

"You're late." he growled arms, crossed over his chest.

"I'm so sorry!" I said, bowing.

"Hn! Let's get going then." He walked out of the barracks and I followed. It was until we were in the Ronkongai districts that I reallized that it was only me and at this point I wasn't sure which was better, being with him, or being with Sakiba.

This was so not what I had prepared for.


	14. Oh Kami, it's HOT Chapter 14

Three days.

Three, long, hot dry days.

I silently walked next to the Taichou of Eleventh Divison, knowing that if I didn't I would probably be kidnapped or worse in a matter of moments. Where are we, you may be wondering- weill to answer that I am currently in lala land trying to pretend that I was not in 80th distirct, that it was not hot, and that it was raining. I was failing miserably. Zaraki had purchased some thin summer clothes after our second day out in the Roukongai Districts, so we weren't boiling in our shinigami robes, but still it was HOT. That there was a drought, didnt help either. People were everywhere, on the side of the road starving, calling for water, or drinking their butts off at taverns as they struggled against the unmoving heat. I suppose it could have been worse. But Im not the type of person who always looks on the bright side of things.

I will have to admit one thing- okay well two things actually. The first, Zaraki had good taste in yukatas, he had brought his old one (smart man) and had bought a light blue one that that blue sakura on it. It felt nice, light and much more breathable than the shinigami robes, but at the same time it constricted me, limiting my movements so that my running looked more like a light jog. The second thing, and the most shocking, is that I thought Zaraki looked.. handsome, with his hair down. That is to say, he didn't look quite so scary, though he's never once dropped his 'fight me and I'll win' air or said much of anythign to me.

The journey had been silent, between us. I still hadn't heard about what we- or as he put it ealier- what he's doing that requires my being nearby. Maybe I will ask him tonight.

"Oi." The rough voice, of Zaraki Taichou killed my thoughts, and I looked up at him, and then ran into him, havving not noticed that he'd stopped.

"H-hai." I stuttered, backing a bit away from him.

"Pay attention to whats going on around you." I swallowed, and nodded. "H-hai. gomenasai."

"Hn." He looked at me, and I suddenly realized how tiny I was compared to this man.

A scream tore the air and we both looked towards the sound. Hollows. An entire flipping group of em. So this was why we were out here.

Zaraki grinned and unsheathed his sword, "Wait here." There he went. I sighed, _I swear it's like he's metal and fights are like one big old magnet._ I watched as Zaraki easily finished off the group of hollows, not even exterting himself. He was well grounded, and much like Ikkaku's sword style, very straightforward. There was no lie, no feinting, just one attack after another. I jogged up to him after the last hollow disappeared into spirit particles. Zaraki looked bored. "Let's go."

I followed him, realizing somthing. He seemed lonely. Without little pink-haired Yachiru, Zaraki Kenpachi's broad shoulders seemed empty and something about his aura was different, more serious.. I guess. Silently I quickened my pace and felll in step beside him. He wasn't going to hurt me, I knew this and so together we exited out of the main village of the 80th disrtict and walked into the outskirts. Here there were the occasional houses that would just suddenly appear, then just as easily disappear. Homes either long abandoned, or used by bandits. We ran into a few more hollows, nothing Zaraki couldn't handle. A one point he was hit, and after he finished the dern thing off, I walked over, my hands already glowing with the kido I was intending to use.

"Dont."

I blinked in surprise, then frowned, "Taichou I need to heal that."

"No you dont. Now lets go." He turned away, begining to walk in the direction we'd been heading for the past few days.

"NO." I said, stubbornly.

He looked over his shoulder at me, a smirk appearing on his face, "Eh? You wanna fight then?"

"I am here for a reason Taichou, and if Im not here for helaing than what good am I. Now let me heal that before it gets infected, turns green, and then incapitates you for days." He turned and walked over looking down at me. I returned his power stare, with my own. If there was one thing I was always strong about, it was healing others.

"Tch. Hurry up."

I tried not to smile at my victory, and silently went to work. Placeing my hand over the cut, I murmured the right words, and the kido soared over his arm, and into it, mending the slightly injured muscle, and the the skin. The whole thing was done in less time than it took for us to argue over it. Zaraki looked at his arm, and I silently waited through his own self examination. There was no sign that he'd been injured at all, not even a scar, one of the reasons i liked that specific kido, although it only worked for minor wounds. He grunted and then continued on. I mentally gave myself a pat on the back, and the ogged to caught up with tall man.

We walked for the rest of the day- the only reliefe we recieved throughout the day was when the sun set, and the world around us cooled. The forest was even coller, but still remained at a comfortable temperature. I yawned, and Zaraki stopped, stooping a little. "Get on."

"Eh?" I looked at his back, my eyes wide.

"I need to run, and you're holding me back so get on."

It was an order, I would've refused or at least tried to, but my sleepiness was making my brain a bit slow. Silently I climbed onto his back, wrapping my arms around his neck. Zaraki stood and took off. The trees sped by us and for a moment I allowed myself the luxury of enjoying being carried. I dont know when it did but at somepoint my head rested on his shoulder and my eyes closed in a slow blink. Why did his arms feel so familiar?

I woke once, feeling heat. Zaraki had stopped, and had somehow made a fire, and placed me down on one side of it. He laid on the ground, nearby, his eyes closed, even as his body raidiated awareness. "Go back to sleep." His golden orbs looked at me, and I merely smiled and closed my eyes once more.

Maybe this would turn out better than I thought.


	15. Death First Chapter 15

Hey, it's SighingWinter. Okay there are several things I would like you to note. There are a few lines in here that I got from a book/movie called the Princess Bride and no it is NOT "hello my name is ingio montya you killed my father prepare to die." It is a different quote that personally I enjoy very much using, and I challenge you to find it.

Anyhow, I think it is very obvious that I dont own any part or character from BLEACH unless it is my ocs, and their zanpaktos.

* * *

Walking through the uninhabited parts of Roukongai, I noted how alike the human world and our world were. Alike and yet so different. Trees and plant life flourished on both sides, poeple lived their lives and were happy (generally), and yet, humans had developed and had poluted their skies, water, and earth. Here, though undeveloped, we lived in harmony with the surrounding world, creating rules that protected life, though like any world there were people who chose to ignore the law. Shinigami, existed to protect, much like the, oh what were they called... Oh! Poe-lee-c. Though in my opinion we had a hell of a lot more to do than tey did, not only did we protect those who livved in the Spirit world but also those who livved in the human relm.I grimaced and rubbed my face, too much thinking. Focusing on the area that surrounded me and the taichou who strode ahead, I tried not to stray too much from concentrating on the world around me. An unwary shinigami was a dead one- and that was one thing I didn't want to be. Then again, would it really matter? I was already dead, I wonder do the already dead die? or do they go some place else to be deader? Deadest? A giggle escaped my lips, and I smothered it with my hands. This heat really had to be getting to me.

Kenpachi hadn't even glanced back, when I giggled, and silently I seized this chance to observe him. Tall, impossibly strong, and ruggedly handsome- though those bells were just plain annoying. He walked easily, with a self assurance I'd been in many Taichou's strides, but his was slightly different. There was no entitled arrogance, or carefully laid deceit- his was open, conveying everything at once. His confidence in himself and his blade, his straightforwardness, and his observance- it was all there in that long legged stride. shifting my gaze to his whole back, I noted how he managed to carry himself proudly, shoulders back and head always looking forewards and never back. I wonder what he's running from. What are you afraid to see if you look back? Of course I could only get that answer by guessing or picking through his brain. My best guess would be blood and suffering. Though perhapse he had some pain, that urged him on in becomming stronger. Maybe both were true, to an extent, which made me wonder, what kind of woman would catch Taichou's eye? I grinned outright, now that would be interesting to- I shunpoed to the side as a blast connected with the ground, where I had been standing, only moments before.

The reitsu I sensed was string, and definatly hollow, but at the same time, not. Eyes narrowed, I peered through the smoke, "Show yourself!" Looking back, I think that was one of the stupidest things I ever said. The next thing I knew, a man was attacking me and I was barely managing to dodge his strikes. He was unusally handsome, but something about him was off, besides the sword part.

"What's a matter shinigam? Scared of a little lightening?" The man let out a maddened cackled as I dodged a jagged streak of light, that had swelled from his blade, like a wave.

Lokking at the man, that's when it clicked, the white clothes, and the bone-like structure on his left shoulder. Arrancar, I thought, jumping into a tree as the monster attempted to chop me in half once more.

"Why would I be scared of an insect like you?' I asked, attempting my best Kuchiki Taichou impression. Needless to say, I pissed the guy off. He launched another attack at me, followed by a red flash from his palm. I managed to escape the first, and sunpoed out of the way of the second, appearing right behind the arrancar.

"You missed." I said coldly, before removving his head with Kuroryu in his unreleased form. The arrancar merely fell to the ground, dead. I touch the body with my toe, waiting for it to body jerked and convulsed, and I stumbbled backwards with a gdiasp. Black blood shot out of the nubb, which slowly solidif long into long tentacles. A body, meshed together at first removed itself from the dead arrancar's body, and reformed, until it fullt solidified into a humanoid shape. The parasite opened red eyes, and grinned, showing all teeth, "Hello there."

I scowled at the- hollow, monster, demon- thing, gripping Kuroryu tightly.

The thing licked its lips, as his eyes roved over me like it was looking at dinner. I repressed a shudder, as it spoke in a voice that oozed lies, "What's a strong, lovely thing doing out here? All alone..." It hadn't moved but I took a step back, disgusted by the leering gaze. "Such a pretty thing... Much more to my taste... Ooooh, it will be so much fun to break you... You see that's what I do with my dolls, a beast of burden must be tamed before they can be used."

I said nothing just glared, as ice cold awareness slid through me. This thing was going to try and do whatever it was that he did with that arrancar, and I was not going to let that happen. Death first! Kuroryu twisted in my hand, becomming his shikai form without my havving to say a thing. The parasite grinned, drool dripping from one corner of it's mouth, "Yes... good. The more fight you put up the more fun you are to break... maybe I'll keep you alive just to play with you even more.."

I watched the Thing, the calming awarness helped me meet it's gaze and keep my mind clear of any stray thoughts. I waited, knowing that patience would win in virutally any fight, as long as I kept my cool and continued to observe the opponent. _Wait for it to show a sign of weakness then exploit it with every thing you've got. _The voice of my training teacher from the Soul Academy echoed across my mind, and I shifted my stance. _Keep you're defenses up. If you don't know what it's strong, always stay defensive. _The Thing watched me with greedy eyes, and three tentacles sped at me. Even though my guard was up, and even though I was ready for anything, it's speed surprised me. What happened to expecting anything?I danced out of the way, narrowly being grabbed.

If there was one bad thing about, Kuro, it was the fact that he was a zanpakto meant for offensive manuvers. Denfensive things, like blocking were nigh impossible with him- it was because of that that I had trained my body, strengthened it, sharppened my reflexes, and kept it fit. It was because of all that training I did on my own, that I was able to keep dodgeing, even when the thing added three more tentacles to the confusion. I used everything to my advantage, the trees, speed, and agility. But like every good shinigami, I knew that I couldn't keep this up forever. I sliced a tentacle that had come too close and watched in fascinated horror as my blade ripped through it, and it split into two different ones.

"What's a matter lovely shinigami? Won't you come with me?... I'll show you pleasures you've only dreamed of...hehehe."

Okay, that is just gross. Shunpoing up into a nearby tree I stabbed the dagger end of Kuro into the tree and wrapped the chain around my wrist. Placing my hands before me, I began muttering under my breath. "Shatoho!" A small red blast emerged from my hand and shot towards the tentacle that rushed at me. It disentigrated and the Thing hissed, in either pain or irritation- probably both. At least now I knew it wouldn't- "Shit" I growled as the tentacle grew back. "Does anything effect this guy?" The tree rocked to the side and a yelp escaped from my mouth as I fell out of the tree. Since I'd prepared for something like this though I easily regained myself and landed on the ground a distance from the fallen tree.

"Did you think that that was going to hurt me, shinigami-chan?" The thing was sitting on the trunk of the tree like he'd been doing nothing but taking a walk. Gods, that pissed me off.

"That's it." I growled, "I'm done fooling around."

"Eh?"

The Thing didn't have time to react as my dagger pierced his neck... and went straight through as the appendage which solidfied around the chain. The Thing grinned and jerked. Too late and pain ripped through my body as my own dagger pierced through my stomach. The Thing leaned forwards, his lips brushing my ears, "You lose, pretty shinigami."

I screamed and fell to my knees, clenching my fists into the dirt, as it disolved and entered through the deep wound. "Dont worry, I'll take care of your body for you...Ami.."

I couldn't help the smirk that went across my face eveen as blood dripped down my mouth.

"What's so funny?" The Thing hissed inside my head. He was trying to break through my barriers, and I'd let him- that is until he got to the last one.

"Guess what... You lose..."

"Bankai."

Kuroryu's roar was deafening.


	16. Baka Chapter 16

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- sorry I've read the latest reviews and I would like to say three things.

1- Yes I am aware that I have a bunch of spelling mistakes, and a few things however i am done trying to correct those such as reiatsu and roukongai, etc.

2- No, Kenny did not disappear off the face of the planet, and if you would all be patient I will explain shortly.

3- I win.

Ahem. I dont own Bleach or any character therein except for my ocs. Thank you all for your reviews and I hope you continue to enjoy.

* * *

The Thing screamed as Kuroryu roared his anger at the unwanted invader, and lashed out at him. I let out a chuckle as the Thing tried to exit my mind as fast as he could. Damn it hurt like hell but the moment he gushed from my wound, Kuro reverted back into sword form and I stabbed it where it's heart should have been. "From the darkness the devil rises, " Kuro began to glow, and pulsed a deep blue that was almost back. "As the moon is is hidden and the sun gone the devil STRIKES!"

Kuroryu and I threw our energy behind the attack as I shoved my zanpakto downwards and across it's blood colored mass. The Thing's head and the shoulder attached fell to the side, and it gazed up at me in obvious shock. "It can't be... You said.."

I turned from the Thing as it completely disolved in a pale blue glow, "I lied."

It was a common trick, but one I was not adverse to using- though if I had used it in any sort of match between shinigami I would've been a coward. Then again, a living coward is far better than a dead body. Somehow I managed to walk forwards a few steps before the pain in my stomach returned, as the elation of being alive wore off. "Shit." I mumbbled and sat in order to tend my wounds. A familiar reiatsu flared briefly and for a moment I felt sorry for whom ever it was that had blasted a cero at the Captain of Eleventh Company. Whomever it was must've been the one who'd blinsided us- "doesn't matter anways, " I grumbbled pulling off the top of my yukata, letting it dangle at my waist, "they're as good as dead anyways."

Silently I tended to my wounds, hissing in pain as I had to clean the dirt out of the stab wound and then put on a cleanser. A quick kido sealed my cut stomach and eased some of the pain. Ripping a sleeve from my yukata I bandaged what remained of the wound, and then stood, carefully pulling on the remains of the now bloodied dress. Wobbly from the bloodloss, I headed towards the other fight that surely had to have been finished by now. Sure enough by the time I had located Zaraki Kenpachi, his opponent (whoever the idiot had been) was long dead.

"Oi. What took so long?" I am almost ashamed to say that I was sorely tempted to smack him. Of course I didn't, but the fact that I was even remotely tempted is something that showed the effects of my being around Eleventh Divison. A year ago- hell- even three weeks ago I probably would've run had he said anything like that, to me in that gruff and disinterested tone.

"Gomen." I murmured, and attempted to move towards him quickly, but the fallen trees and scarred ground prevented me from moving over to the Captain without falling on my face, that is if I moved with the speed I wanted to. Therefore, I walked around slowly, zig zagging around trees, and jumping lightly over welds in the ground. An intense stare was leveled at me, watching as I made my way through the remnents of his battle. The Eleventh Taichou waited for awhile then set off, presumably headed towards our destination. I think I made a face at his back when I paused, then attempted to catch up with the stronger shinigami who was steadily getting further and further away as I stood there like a bumpkin.

What felt like days couldn't have been more than an hour or so. Kenpachi walked in front and I followed behind, slowing us both down. It's strange the thins one notes when they're half out of it due to blood loss. It was one thing to see it happening, and entirely another to be expeirenceing it yourself. The trees melded into one anther becomming a single entity of brown and dark green, while I could fell the earth spinning beneath my feet. I also noticed that Kenpachi never once, went too far ahead, remaining in my line of sight even when he became a white blurb in the mass of blackness.

Arms, strong and warm were suddenly close, pressing me down. For a moment I struggled to stand, instinct demanding that I refuse to obey the silent order. My legs followed the crumpleing of my will and I plopped onto the ground, leaning back against the roughness of the tree. Orange mixed with red brightned my vision, and for a moment I saw the Captain sit across from me before the darkness bloomed around me again. Like ivy, it threaded its way across my vision, braiding itself over and between the tendrils of fire that sat not far off in front of my being. Zaraki Kenpachi scoffed, and my brain dully realized that he must've been looking at me once more. The last thing I heard before the darkness won over all light was a simple word that I completely agreed with. "Baka.."


	17. Dreams and A Shock Chapter 17

I would like to say that all the reviews I have gotten for this story far exceed my expectations, and I am very glad that so many of y'all are continueing to read despite some of the larger gaps between chapters. Anyhow I dont own Bleach or any of the character therein except for my OCs.

Thank you for reading and I hope that you continue to stay with the story. -SighingWinter

* * *

Arms, strong and warm were suddenly close, pressing me down. For a moment I struggled to stand, instinct demanding that I refuse to obey the silent order. My legs followed the crumpleing of my will and I plopped onto the ground, leaning back against the roughness of the tree. Orange mixed with red brightned my vision, and for a moment I saw the Captain sit across from me before the darkness bloomed around me again. Like ivy, it threaded its way across my vision, braiding itself over and between the tendrils of fire that sat not far off in front of my being. Zaraki Kenpachi scoffed, and my brain dully realized that he must've been looking at me once more. The last thing I heard before the darkness won over all light was a simple word that I completely agreed with.

"Baka.."

_It was dark and I was alone, running from the demons that I just knew were chasing after me, hungry for their next meal. Tree after tree passed by nothing more than blurrs from the corners of my eyes. I looked left and right, searching for any sign of my pursuers. Nothing. And then I fell. I screamed as the darkness and cruel laughter echoed around me. Suddenly everything shifted and I landed on soft grass near a small lake. It's surface was flat- a perfect mirror that reflected anything one saw on it. Slowly I approached the still water, brushing aside the reeds that swarmed on my side of the shore. The waters rippled for a moment, rainbws drifting across the surface before once more returning to utter stillness. _

_Somewhere in the back of my mind I noted the fact that there was no sound, not even when I moved the reeds aside, or as I waded further into the pull, as though I was called. The water seemed to glow, but there was not a single bit of light upon the gleaming surface. It was up to my knees before I cam to a halt, no where near the middle of the lake that now seemed endless, streaching across the horizon on every side of me. _

_Bending over I looked down, and saw nothing but my own face. Blue, grey eyes framed by a slightly tanned heart shaed face and dark hair, that hung across my shoulders in loose waves. Blinking I reached back and found my hair to be in its usual braid. I checked the water again and there it was- the exact same as it had been second before. How strange. I touched my reflection and waited for the ripples to clear, and when they did golden eyes looked back at me. They were eyes tha had seen much, life, death, and all the stages between. They were both warm and cold, hard but soft, holding within a warmth that made me want to smile._

_I touched the water again and there, stareing back at me was HIM. I gasped and stumbbled back, slipping on the mud beneath my feet. As the water surged over my head I tried to pull myself towards the surface, but it seemed that the more I tried the further the surface got. My kungs screamed for air and my lips part, desperate in their need to accomodate my body. Slowly darkness surrounded me once more, and I drifted to the bottom of the lake, joing the other death who had been to scared to face what they needed to._

Fear panged through my like a bullet comming from a gun, and I shot up dragging air through my lips as though I had been drowning. Wildly I looked around trying to ascertain where I was and who else was nearby. It looked like some kind of worn down shrine, if the deity was any guess and there on my right was Kenpachi Taichou. He was looking at me out of the corner of his eye, a hawk looking at weakened prey but wasn't completely sure it was weak enough to kill off or keep alive. His head turned, looking outside the shrine. My heart rate gradually calmed and I noted that his hair was down, and wet.

Zaraki Kenpachi leaned his back easily against the wall. One leg was out falt in front of him while the other was bent, and a strong well muscled arm was slung over it carelessly. His sword lay on the floor, carefully positioned so that it would seem like he was unarmed, when in actuality his katana was easily within reach and ready for him to weild.

"Took you long enough, healer girl." He voice, rough but normal sounding, pulled me out of my thoughts, and let me know that vocally, he wasn't irritated with me. Comming from someone who knows that you can say one thing and fell completely opposite, meant that I was careful in chooseing my next words.

"What do you mean?"

"You've been out for two days." He rumbbled, voice still as calm as his body language was. Even so, I knew he was on alert for anything that might come into sight and attempt to attack us- him. Honestly, people should know better by now...

I sighed, and murmured an appology. Kenpachi snorted and stood. "Bathe. Then we leave." He tossed a piece of folded cloth on my lap and opened it up to reveal a new yukata. It was a pale lavender with little green ginko leave trailing down then bottom of the skirt. Turnign to thank him, I found the man had already gone. Making a mental note to thank him when he returned, I stood and gathered the yukata in my arms and walked towards the back of the shrine. Slideing open the door I found a small bath, filled with water that was cool to the touch. Greatfully I slid out of my clothes and got in, wincing a bit as the water slipped over the sensitiv flesh of my stomach. Needless to say I didn't bathe long, just enough to wash out the dirt and sweat, and dried blood. Once clean I stepped out and examined my body. The stomach wound had done some healing on it's own and a semi strong kido finished off the work, leaving something more than a thin line of scarred flesh as a reminder. I tended to my other wounds and pulled on the new yukata.

It was as I tied the green obi around my waist that I realized it. The strips of cloth that had covored my stomach, legs, and arm hadn't been from my other yukata. They had been bandages, that had been clean. And there had only been one person around who could've changed them. Which led my thoughts to a single point.

Kenpachi Zaraki had seen me naked.


	18. Goodnight Chapter 18

I would like to say that all the reviews I have gotten for this story far exceed my expectations, and I am very glad that so many of y'all are continueing to read despite some of the larger gaps between chapters. Anyhow I dont own Bleach or any of the character therein except for my OCs.

Thank you for reading and I hope that you continue to stay with the story. -SighingWinter

* * *

_Previously_

_The strips of cloth that had covored my stomach, legs, and arm hadn't been from my other yukata. They had been bandages, that had been clean. And there had only been one person around who could've changed them. Which led my thoughts to a single point._

_Kenpachi Zaraki had seen me naked._

Fight.

Sleep.

Walk / Fight more.

Sleep some more.

The days flowed endlessly in the same pattern, one right after the next and through it all I maintained whatever dignity I had left, salvaging it as we walked to our destination, finished the misson, and headed back. It wasn't until we were a few miles away I remembered what I had left behind. I had run from him, and my past for a few weeks and now I had to face it in the worst way possible. Plunging right into the heart of it. The strange thing is when we- Kenpachi and I- returned and things were just like they had been before I'd left to galivant across the Soul Society with a very scary man, who I was surprised to find not so scary anymore. Not that I'll tell him that any time soon... Wait scratch that, I wont tell him that ever. Never Ever! Anyhow, we came back and everything was normal. Ikkaku getting drunk and throwing fists, Yumichika going on about his beauty and toying with my hair, Tanaka trying to beat Ikkaku and failing again and again, and the healing room being full at all times of the day. It was nice at first, I didn't have to face anything, not my fears, not that man, and I fell back into my routine with happy ease. Coward much? But after two weeks had passed, I felt it, the oddness in the air.

I was in the garden, meditating before bed, when I felt that oddness. Something had shifted while I'd been gone. Mentally, I poked and proded the area around me with my spirit energy. The trees hummed with delight at the summer moon, drinking it's light like it was some rarely found wine. I poked further lightly touching the walls that was a short walk behind me, and shuddered at the zing of electricity that jolted through my awareness. It was Daairu's energy, wrapped around the divison like a... a cloak or something. Pulling away, I opened my eyes and immediatly wanted to slap myself. How could I not have noticed it earlier? His energy made even the air smell different.

"Yumichika said it would be better fer you ta figure it out yourself." Ikkaku said, from his semi-hidden spot under a nearby tree. He stopped leaning on the tree trunk and walked over looking slightly unsteady and distained. "The whole Serreti's covored in this stuff. Daairu Taichou says it's for our protection,"Ikkaku snorted, "more likely it's so he can sense whatever's going on."

The whole Serretti was covored in this? Gods above I must be blind! I groaned lowly as Ikkaku slung himself to the ground beside me. I wanted it knock my head against a wall or hit myself. Glancing at my fellow shinigami I fgured he wouldn't take my indulgence into self pity very well. Therefore I did the only thing I could- talk and drink. Ikkaku supplied the sake and I supplied the conversation, until I was too drunk and said nothing. Kuroryu sighed in the back of my mind, muttering about how I was going to regret this in the morning. Aloud I told him to shut it and that I could bloodly well take care of myself thank you very much. To that my zanpakto laughed and watched me with amusment. Of course I knew he was right, but I was on a roll- besides if you start something you should never do it by halves. One night wasn't going to get me killed, just help me sleep a bit heavier, right?

WRONG! I would like to say one thing about karma- it sucks- the moment I try to be positive about things it just has to turn around and bite me in the ass. Almost the moment my thoughts had finished a very dangerous but incredibly handsome man was looking down at me with an unreadable gaze that I instinctively ran from. Unfortunatly, my legs were useless and so all I could do was gaze back up at him from my position on the grass. Ikkaku looked up and somehow managed to stumbble off, leaving me to fend for mysef against a man who at the moment was looking down at me with such a gaze that made me shivver in delight.

"Onna,what hell hell're you doing?" His voice was rough and it grated against my ears like an unrefined song, the words rough around the edges- but if I listened the tones of the music made up for the roughness. I blinked up at the man with amber eyes and smiled. His eyes widened for a moment before he growled to himself and ran a hand through his loose hair. He sighed and sat down beside my prone body.

"You actually gunna sleep?"

I shook my head, even as the world spun even faster beneath my body. A giggle escaped my mouth, I liked the way the feeling of spinning felt. When I was a little girl, impossibly small, who thought the world was huge and just waiting for me to explore it, I would spin. Spin until I couldn't any longer and then fall to the ground, much like I was now.

I think I might've had some kind of dreamy look on my face, but Kenpachi said nothing so I let myself swim somewhere between the real world and the lake of my past. Men had never sat so silently beside me, they'd always had to speak, whether it was about the weather or something just as general and bland- forcing me out my comfortable place, so that I wouldnt seem rude. That is- if I hadn't already left first. After I had left that place I couldn't bring myself to trust men. I know mentally, not all men are the same, and yet still there lingers remnants of a past I wish to forget entirely. I suppose a part of me will always shiver when a man touches me or I just might mentally cringe.

"The stars help." I murmured aloud, and oddity- somehow managing to contradict myself.

"..." Kenpachi craned his head up, turning his gaze towards the black sky that sparkled with the silver dust of stars.

"Whenever I look at them, I feel better- no- calmer. They are the few things that never change, them and nature. They change but in barely perceptible ways- unlike humans or spirits, who change constantly and can do so on whim. A single thought, and then they're different. Not nature, it is neither good nor evil, it carries ill will towards few and welcomes even the strangest stranger into it's midst. If only humans could do the same rather than constantly try and force one to live in the way of another."I paused watching as a star winked down at the earth, a sign, good or bad I couldn't tell you. "Perhaps it is because we live such short lives. That we must argue and fight, an attempt to secure something in what little time we have."

I stopped, wondering what it was that I had secured in my life long before this. What had I done before I'd died?

"Oi, onna." I turned my head to look at the man who sat beside me, "Hai?"

"It doesn't matter."

"eh?"

Amber eyes, perhapse softened by the stars, looked down at me with surprising softness then became harder again as he spoke in such a soft tone, gentle like he was lightly scolding a child.

"As long as you become strong enough to face yourself. It doesn't matter." he looked back up at he sky and laid back on the grass beside me. I got the slightest whiff of sake comming off him as the air around him stirred at his movement. I felt Kuro slip through my mind easily until he cloud see what I saw, only clearer because he wasn't the one who was filled with sake. He gauged the man as I gazed at him, both of us trying to figure out why he was here and what he'd said. Kuro sifted back to his palace, finding I was safe enough for the time being.

He left only saying one thing, "that guy- he's right you know."

Kenpachi and I stayed on the ground for a long while, just gazing at the stars and the sky until the moon began it's descent. He stood before I did and silently helped me to my room. In my drunken state I note how much I like his arm supporting me. His presence was comforting and protective. We reached my door and I think I thanked the older shinigami, but Im sure he got the idea because at that moment I kissed him. I hadn't really meant for my hands to go on either side of his face and pull it down towards me. I also hadn't meant for my lips to touch his or for my eyes to close as though I'd meant for this all to happen. Strange thing is, Kenpachi didn't do anything; he neither pulled away nor kissed me back.

I released his face and opened my door, "Good night, Taichou."


	19. A New Strength Chapter 19

Something was bugging me and I don't mean that little thing that pokes your mind over then goes away for a few days only to come back and lightly poke you again; I mean bugging as in I'm being whacked with a stick but can't figure who is doing it or why, figuratively speaking of course, because I was actually in Fourth division in order to get supplies from Hantarou. I had forgotten something, and it was supposed to be important, at least I think it was. It had to do with something from a few nights ago, when Ikkaku and I had drunk to much. Only I couldn't remember much after Kenpachi had appeared and Ikkaku had left. Something about stars and humans.

I sighed and walked back to Eleventh division with the supplies. Tanaka was relieved to see me with extra bandages and the like, as yet another brawl had broken out during lunch. I silently got to work, mending what I could with kido and bandaging what I couldn't do with kido without using large amounts of reiatsu. The men were unusually quiet throughout the whole ordeal, which made me wonder what had happened to cause the brawl in the first place. When I asked Ikkaku, who'd been hit on the head with something sharp, he glanced sharply at Tanaka and looked away saying it was something a woman couldn't understand. For that I was unusually rough when I wrapped and tied a bandage around his head, making him wince more than once. Something a woman couldn't understand-as if.

The day melded into evening and whatever it was that was bugging me had been kept at bay for long enough that it ceased to bother me. I walked through the halls murmuring to myself as words trickled through my head, "as long as I'm strong enough.." I stopped as the lightbulb went off. Quickly but silently I walked to my room and grabbed the necessary items before walking out of the the division barracks to search for the least used training ground. It was further back than I anticipated but it suited my needs perfectly. The items in my hands I placed on the ground in front of me.

They were dolls- well golems to be precise. The two were made out of stone rather than clay, thus harder to break. I placed a sheet of paper that had a spell written in red ink, over the faces of the dolls. Stepping back I watched as they grew until each were about as tall as Kenpachi. The golems began their charge and thus, practice began. I started out slow, working on dodging attacks, and shunpo. At some point I shifted to using shiikai. The sun burned with a red orange glow, painting the white walls of the Serretti creating a the seeming that where we were was actually more mystical than it actually was.

I trudged back to the barracks, covered in dirt and scratches. My uniform was ripped in several places and I tried to hurry, so that I wouldn't be seen; the last thing i needed was people stareing at me. I managed to avoid my fellow shinigami and bathed quickly in the womens washroom. Pulling on my spare uniform I made my way to dinner and slipped into my regular seat beside Kenpachi and ate, listening to Yachirru chirp about her latest adventure a the woman shinigami association.

Apparently the men's version of said association wanted a larger room and there had been a small debacle or sorts in the ensueing chaos. Suddenly the doors the our dining area flew open and Sakiba Daairu walked in as though he owned all that he saw. His arrogance bled from his body much in the same manner as Aizen's had even as we kicked his irritating ass into jail. Dark grey eyes, cool and sober scanned the room with open derision then stopped as they landed on me. Something crossed his face, too quickly repressed in order for me to ascertain what it had been.

"What do you want Daairu?" Kenpachi's harsh voice whipped across the silent hall like a whip, scarring it.

The man in the white haori of a captain shrugged, relaxed even as two sets of glares were locked on him, " I just came to have a word with Ami." Something in the way he said my name tipped me off, just as it had in the when I was younger.

Wanted to talk Yamamoto's cane! Scowls and glares came from all over the room now and I realized that by some miracle I had gained support from the rough and tough men of Eleventh Divison. I was a part of their company just as much as Yachirru or Ikkaku was. I repressed to urge to smile and looked over to Kenpachi. He was the one who made the decision in the end. The single amber eye cooly observed the invading Taichou and finally he shrugged, "if she wants to."

Though I hadn't quite known it, this is what I had been bracing myself for when I fought against those golems. Strength. The new mantra repeated in my head as I silently stood and calmly walked towards the recently appointed Taichou, who smirked and walked out of the hall in a silent order for me to follow. In my mind Kuroryu was tensed in anticipation for whatever was to come, be it a fight or just words.

"It seems you've somehow managed to win their support."

"Indeed."

Daairu turned and looked at me once we reached the entrance to he barracks, " How many of them have you slept with?"

I kept my face blank even as Kuroryu roared his fury at the insult. "None."

A wry smile decorated Daiiru's face, "Surpriseing. I figure a worthless piece of trash like yourself couldn't have ever gotten into this Diviosn without... Help." He leered down at me and my blood froze in my viens.

"Perhaps you should ask Unanhana Taichou how it was I managed to make it here. I'm sure shed be more than willing to enlighten you to the current situation." Daairu's face paled for a moment, no captain unless it was Yamamoto himself challenged Unahanna Taichou to anything. Not unless they had a death wish. Afterall not everyone can be saved from serious injuries. He snarled, transforming a somewhat handsome face into a monster, "They won't protect you forever girl. No one can." Without another word he walked off, the white haori swirling behind him as he struggled to regain the persona of a man who wasn't ruled by whims and the need to make people suffer. I watched his back waiting until I could sense him enter his own barracks before closing the doors and pretending like the conversation had never happened.

"I don't need protection."


	20. Meeting Kuroryu Chapter 20

I would like to say that all the reviews I have gotten for this story far exceed my expectations, and I am very glad that so many of y'all are continuing to read despite some of the larger gaps between chapters. Anyhow I don't own Bleach or any of the character therein except for my OCs.

To my readers: If any of you who enjoy my story are Beta Readers I'd like to know, cause I'm searching for a Beta reader in order to help me out with developing Ami and what's going within the story. So if anyone would like to be my Beta Reader message me.

Thank you for reading and I hope that you continue to stay with the story. -SighingWinter

* * *

_Previously _

_Without another word he walked off, the white haori swirling behind him as he struggled to regain the persona of a man who wasn't ruled by whims and the need to make people suffer. I watched his back waiting until I could sense him enter his own barracks before closing the doors and pretending like the conversation had never happened._

_"I don't need protection."_

I turned and walked back towards the barracks, frowning to myself as Daairu's words floated across my mind. Something about the way his conversation had been different, and that made we worried. He was planning something or at least hiding it as he attempted to threaten me. "Don't worry about it, Am-chan!"

"WAH!" I yelled and fell, startled by the bright pink haired girl who'd appeared out of freakin nowhere. Yachirru giggled, and kneeled down to look at me as I looked up at her from the ground. "Gomen fuki-" Her giggle interrupted me, "its okay Am-chan." Smiling at the girl I stood and began to dust myself off, mentally sighing as clouds of dust fluttered off the front of my uniform and fell to back to the equally dry earth. Small hands gripped my right shoulder as Yachirru's weight settled on my back. I didn't pause in what I was doing as she had done this before.

"You don't hafta worry about that guy. Ken-chan, baldy, and pretty boy will always protect you." Her generally light voice held a serious undertone to it that made me still for a moment. My defenses automatically raised and I smiled meaninglessly, "Oh? Is that not what friends do for one another? Protect each other?" A bright smile lit the girl's face and she jumped off my shoulder, landing perfectly on the ground. "JA then Am-chan!" Once more I was covered in dust, only this time it was from the speed of Yachirru's dash.

"She certainly does create a whole new meaning to 'eat my dust.' "I murmured. Is that not what friends do? My words came back, unbidden and I could feel my face slip back into a serious outlook. They needed to stay out of this. Daairu wasn't against using the few friends I had as leverage against me. He would try and force me to leave the Serretti much like he'd tried to force me to leave the Soul academy and when it didn't work, he'd use my friends next. It was a good thing that they were Eleventh division members who had large reputations around here, but even they wouldn't last long against Daairu. Shaking my head I dusted myself off again and headed back to the room where I hoped, the remains of my dinner were waiting for me. Sure enough they were there, but the hall itself was empty. I walked towards my food, sat down in front of said food and began to eat. The room was dark and silent, but not in a good way. Both darkness and silence were thick with tension. "Probably just me." I muttered. I hurried up anyways.

The darkness wouldn't stop bothering me until I reached my room after a rapid bath and change of clothes. I lit three candles and silently called Kuroryu. My choker slid off my neck and grew until it became a sheathed katana that rested across my lap. The katana itself looked pretty ratty, with the hilt wrapping falling off and the sheath slightly worse for wear. I like the ratty look though because in a way- it was me. Even though time were different now, I was worn and a bit beaten, but still managed to function.

My thoughts began to slip away and I let them flow into the waters of the lake that surround my zanpakto's palace. Kuroryu had known I was coming and wasn't so annoyed with me this time, so the path that I now walked across wasn't flooded over. The red doors parted and I walked through. They closed behind me as I walked towards our usual meeting room. You see, Kuro and I had always had this unspoken rule of privacy; as such we could share as much or as few of our thoughts as we wanted. Inclusively, I granted him a space in my mind that was just his, which is where the palace comes in. He claimed not to care where I wandered, but I think he likes the fact that I only go to three places within his given space.

I reached the meeting room and slid open the door only to find it curiously empty and dark. I frowned and slipped down a nearby hall to go to another place that I wandered to on the rare occasions that I came here for a social visit. It was a garden of sorts that took up a small corner of the palace. I say of sorts because the garden had your usual flowers and trees, but within the garden there were objects. Things that I could see only out of the corner of my eye, for example- whenever I pass by the moon flowers I always see something sparkle, its blue purple, and green, but if I turn and face where I thought I saw the sparkled come from there's nothing there but flowers.

The garden was beautiful as always, when I entered. Dark greens melded with blues, pinks, purples, grays, and a plethora of other colors in a subtle way, making the cascade of colors more mellow and slow in appearance rather than bright and obvious. I walked through the garden for awhile, looking for my partner. Nothing.

There was one other place I could look. The central room also known as Kuroryu's bedroom. I had only been there once, when I had been much younger and had freaked out over being alone. As I tried to recall how to get to the room I remembered the past.

_There's a voice in my head. I thought kicking at the gold and ruby leaves that had fallen to the ground as the cold months approached. I heard it last night when I was dreaming. Sitting on the leaves I sighed. There wasn't anyone to play with and it wouldn't be safe to go home for at least a few more hours, if not a few days. I was lonely even thought I was used to the idea it was sad at times. My eyes stung and I sniffled._

_"A lady, no matter how young, should not cry."_ _It was the voice from my dream, from the place that I go to in my head. _I had needed to sleep back then, in order to get into my own mind. Now, I found my own naivety funny.

_"Hello?" I called trying to tentatively communicate with the voice. It had never talked when I was awake before. _

_"Hello Ami."__ The voice was both in my head and not. The air changed and I looked up to see the most beautiful man I had ever seen. Long ebony hair trailed to his waist, framed a perfectly shaped face that held two beautiful deep red eyes. His clothes were in the Hein Era style, with varying shades of red, the lightest of which was the color of blood. Dark green gingko leaves flowed down the front robe much like the leaves that surrounded us now._

_"You know my name." I was in awe of this man. He raised his brows down at me and the smiled warmly, "Of course I do. Just as you know mine." __I looked up at him, confused. It was then that I saw a leaf, golden and bright swirl through the fall breeze and right through the man. How was that? He looked solid…. _

_"But I haven't seen you before. I'm sure I would've remembered a person like you." His laugh was low and melodious. He was amused, laughing at me in such a way that made me feel like smiling. So I did._

_'We have met many times little Ami, never like this." __I cocked my head to the side, and the man just looked down at me with those red eyes. It was almost as though he was looking at something he'd wanted to see for years, but hadn't ever gotten the chance to. I couldn't tell what he thought of me, in a torn yukata that was too small, a face smeared with dirt, and hands and knees that were slightly scabbed from falling on the ground._

_"Say my name little one."_

_I looked up at him, this strange man who wanted me to say his name even though he'd just admitted we hadn't met before. Something about his voice sounded familiar though… wait! He was THE voice! The one that was in my dreams._

_I looked at the insubstantial man and walked forward. Reaching out I grabbed his hand. "Kuroryu."_

_His smile, full of happiness warmed me and something inside of me resonated. "That's right. Happy seventh birthday Ami."_

I quietly slipped through the door of Kuro's room. The light from the candles danced along the walls of the room to a tune that was silent to all but the flames. The glow they produced was just enough for me to see the body of my zanpakto on the bed. Walking to the side of the bed I once again marveled at the sheer beauty that lay before me. Kuro had left his hair unbound and a few strands trailed across his sleeping face. He looked so peaceful, a rare state for him. Though for all I knew, perhaps he was having dark dreams. Kuro beat everyone, including Kuchiki Taichou, at masking his emotions.

I smiled down at the other part of my spirit and gently moved the hair off his face. He hated having his hair in his face when he was awake. Not once did he stir. I didn't have the heart to wake my friend and so I opened my eyes.

The candles I'd lit had sputtered out, trails of smoke coming from the wicks. Judging by how much of the wax had melted I guessed that I'd been inside of myself for little over an hour. A yawn escaped my mouth, as I stretched. The katana in my lap flashed and returned to being a choker. Slipping out of my uniform and into my white sleeping kimono, I laid in my own bed until sleep carried me away in its blissful currents.

Let's just say my waking up was not as peaceful. One moment all was nice and dark and the next an explosion ripped apart one of my walls and slammed into my body, sending it colliding with the wall. What the hell? I stood shaking and brushed the rubble off of my sleeping clothes. Then I walked out of the place where my former wall had been. From this learned something the hard way, when you pick a room that's near a training area know that it's going to be destroyed. I stared blankly at the fight going on in front of me. Ikakku and Tanaka were at it again and Tanaka was using a hado that blasted red energy at the opponent, which would explain the crumbling remains of my wall.

Something snapped inside of me then, I don't know what it was but it snapped. I shunpoed straight into the middle of the fight, not knowing that Kenpachi was watching the fight right before my blade collided with Tanaka's and my free hand grabbed Ikakku's spear.

* * *

Alright, I don't doubt that some of you readers are confused about the whole Kuro thing, so I will explain. One of my theories about zanpaktos is that they are a part of their shinigami, whether they- the shinigami- knows it or not. In this case then zanpakto spirits should be able to appear at any point to the person who they are bonded with, however they cannot maintain a substanial form so they appear to the person as spirit-esque. Said spirit forms of the zanpakto cannot be seen by others, therefore the can give advice to their bonded without being heard, or help them without being seen. When a person becomes a shinigami the zanpakto no longer appear as in substantial forms because they have varying degrees of substainable forms, i.e katana and shikai forms.

Long winded theory I know, but hopfully it helps. If not then basically- when Ami sees him before she become a shinigami he's like an imaginary friend onlt twice as good.

* * *

_Next Time_

_I was going to die. There was no way around it, I was going to die. Pissed off and in my sleeping clothes. A growl ripped through my throat and he laughed at me. "What's the matter onna?" _

_I stood straight, flicking back my hair as I had seen Matsumoto fukitachou do a few times. "Nothing." My gaze was cool and calculating, assessing every strength and every weakness. His was flicking over me, obviously checking me out while I stood infront of him dressed the way I would never be dressed in front of him. Taking what I already knew about him and processed it into information that could be used in this situation. He probably thought that I was chickening out, but whatever it was that had snapped inside of me earlier was stilll snapped, so there was no fucking way I was going to back down. The anger that raged in my blood thrummed out a deadly rhythm. _

_He shifted,impatient. I waited, knowing he would act long before I did, if only because I knew I could out wait him. "Well what are you waiting for?" I taunted, "Afraid of me?" My words whipped him and he growled, low and animalistically. _

_"Fight me onna!" And with that Zaraki Kenpachi charged forward in a blast of speed and strength. I was so going die._


	21. Desires Realized Chapter 21

I would like to say that all the reviews I have gotten for this story far exceed my expectations, and I am very glad that so many of y'all are continuing to read despite some of the larger gaps between chapters. Anyhow I don't own Bleach or any of the character therein except for my OCs.

To my readers: If any of you who enjoy my story are Beta Readers I'd like to know, cause I'm searching for a Beta reader in order to help me out with developing Ami and what's going within the story. So if anyone would like to be my Beta Reader message me.

Thank you for reading and I hope that you continue to stay with the story. -SighingWinter

* * *

_Previously_

_Something snapped inside of me then, I don't know what it was but it snapped. I shunpoed straight into the middle of the fight, not knowing that Kenpachi was watching the fight right before my blade collided with Tanaka's and my free hand grabbed Ikakku's spear._

Blood.

It swelled in my left palm, and slid down my forearm in slow rivulets. Some of my lifeblood dripped onto the ground in thick drop, staining the dirt below until the next rain. The rest caught itself on my sleeping kimono and dyed the white fabric. As it grew I was reminded of a flower coming into bloom, gradually spreading it's petals until it covered the small area in a single, small blossom.

Blue grey eyes, my eyes, met the maroon gaze of a shocked Ikakku. His zanpakto dug into my left hand, biting at the already bleeding flesh. Yumchika would later tell me that my eyes were colder than ice and all expression had left my face. At that point all I knew was that ice had replaced the warmth that ran through my veins. "That's enough." I told the fight happy third seat. It wasn't a statement, it was an order, one that I didn't have the authority to give, but I had snapped so it didn't matter. I knew I could beat him and the cold reassurance was all I needed.

Ikakku kept my gaze. In the silence between us, I felt Tanaka press his zanpakto, Namida, against Kuro, trying to break past me in order to get to his opponent.

"Tch." Ikakku relaxed his stance and pulled his zanpakto away, letting it transform back to its katana form.

"Don't back out on me!" Tanaka yelled pushing against the sword that wasn't there anymore. He stumbled a bit, and I twirled Kuro in my hand, and slammed the dull edge into his stomach. "I said that's enough, Tanaka." I murmured coolly. Kuro disappeared, returning to his choker form, smug. He liked it when I lost any reasoning, despite the fact that I always ended up injured and near death almost every time. I headed back towards the hole in my wall, intent on going back to sleep.

"Damn you!" Tanaka jumped up and dashed towards me. I sighed and waited, my back still turned to my fellow healer. I felt his reaitsu flare as he lunged towards me, and stepped aside, leaving out a foot as I did so. He tripped and fell onto the floor of the building in front of me. He quickly recovered and jumped back to his feet. His handsome features twisted in a silent growl, as he glared at me in fury. Namida launched at me with her wielder using her doubled edged blade to its utmost advantage. I slid out of the way of the blade and snaked under another slice aimed for my throat.

He lift the blade ready to finish my off, and I shunpoed. Appearing behind the healer, I kicked, lashing out in a fast movement that sent the man flying into some bystanders who were too slow to get out of the way. The ball of men tumbled through the obnoxious hole in my wall, ripping it even further and probably destroying the entire room in the process of landing.

I still felt like ice. Even the brief fight with Tanaka hadn't helped ease the violent needs that surged through my veins at a dangerous tempo. A growl filled the silent air, and my body answered, as my brain processed the sound. The owner of the voice wanted the same thing I did, a fight. I turned as the warrior's footsteps thrummed through the ground, and my feet curled at the vibrations. The man who had chased me across the Seiretti was about to get what he wanted all those weeks ago.

"Fight me." His rough growl sent chills of fears and adrenaline through my veins, warming the ice. I looked up the foot of height difference between us, to meet eager amber eyes, filled with battle lust. "Why should I?" I murmured, boldly looking the man up and down. He growled, "I said fight me."

I smirked up at the man who I had once feared, the man who frustrated me because I could never figure why it was I felt strange, off balance around him. He would be perfect. I could fight and all of it would go away.

"Fine."

I walked away from the taller man until I reached the other side of the training ground. I watched him equal parts wary and eager. I was going to die. There was no way around it, I was going to die. Pissed off and in my sleeping clothes. A growl ripped through my throat and he laughed at me. "What's the matter onna?"

I stood straight, flicking back my hair as I had seen Matsumoto fukitachou do a few times. "Nothing." My gaze was cool and calculating, assessing every strength and every weakness. His was flicking over me, obviously checking me out while I stood in front of him dressed the way I would never be dressed in front of him. I took what I already knew about him and processed it into information that could be used in this situation. He probably thought that I was chickening out, but whatever it was that had snapped inside of me earlier was still snapped, so there was no fucking way I was going to back down. The anger that raged in my blood thrummed out a deadly rhythm.

He shifted, impatient. I waited, knowing he would act long before I did, if only because I knew I could out wait him. "Well what are you waiting for?" I taunted, "Afraid of me?" My words whipped him and he growled, low and animalistically.

"Fight me onna!" And with that Zaraki Kenpachi charged forward in a blast of speed and strength. I was so going die.

Kuro leapt into my open hand and I pulled him up just in time to deflect Zaraki's blade. I slid Kuro down the chipped edge of Zaraki's blade, pushing it away from me and attacked his unguarded left side. A large hand grabbed Kuro, who bit into the palm roaring at the blood that ran down his blade.

"Gotta try harder than that onna." Zaraki growled, barring his teeth in a vicious grin.

"Then, how's this?" Kuro disappeared, returning to my neck, as I released his hilt and lashed out with my legs. Kenpachi certainly hadn't expected that and took two very powerful kicks straight in the chest. To my fury he only stumbled back, whereas most men would have fallen- after flying into something. He looked down at his chest and then back over at me, a grin slowly spreading across his lips as his eyes narrowed.

"Let's move elsewhere." I called, "I'd rather not have to fix the barracks." Kenpachi grinned and soon we were outside the barracks and even the Seiretti. We stood on the edge of some place or another, the ground uneven. Behind the Taichou of Eleventh Division there stood a forest. Around us and behind me stretched an uneven plain. If I could force him into the woods, it would bring me an advantage. I could utilize Kuro's power there, with more ease than I could out in the middle of a grassy area with the sun looming over us.

"From the darkness a dragon rises. I summon you Kuroryu!" I murmured. Kuroryu writhed against my neck then in a flash of black light, stretched and transformed into his released form. I held the scythe end in my right hand and the dagger in my left. The silver chain looped loosely in my left, and daggled between the end of my scythe and dagger.

Zaraki Kenpachi looked at my release zanpakto, seeing it for the first time. "Not bad, for a healer girl." He rumbled. I glared at the insult, healing took a lot more strength than fighting did!

"Let's show him Kuro." I muttered. Kuro growled his approval of the sentiment. I flash stepped behind the elder shinigami and tossed the dagger end of Kuro straight at his heart. Suddenly a crushing reaitsu flared as bright yellow light surrounded the taichou. My dagger bounced off the yellow light as I fell to my knees as the crushing reaistu grew. Kenpachi looked over his shoulder at me, tossing aside a scrap of cloth. Two flashing amber eyes locked onto mine, and I forced my body to relax and accept the reaistu that followed around me.

Kenpachi watched in slight surprise as I stood, and smiled at him as though the reaitsu no longer had any effect on me. Dark blue, so dark in was almost black reaistu flowed around my body accepting some of Zaraki's reaitsu while it formed a sort of shield around me to deflect the worst off of my body. I'd had to master this at a young age, living around Daairu was no walk in the park- though even that man's reaistu couldn't compare to what I felt now.

"Ready onna?"

I looked at him; the ice in my veins was almost entirely melted leaving adrenaline behind. I wouldn't win, but I could try. I nodded, and we ran at one another. Sparks flew as I used the chain of my zanpakto to defect his silent weapon. I flash stepped but he met me at every turn, deflecting my attacks and launching his own, keeping me on the defensive no matter how hard I tried to cut him. At some point we had managed to slice various areas of the other's body, but they were nothing but scratches, little more than faint twinges of pain that faded as soon as our weapons met again.

I grew frustrated and launched myself at the now topless shinigami. He blocked my attack and as our eyes my, I saw something in his gaze that lit a fire inside of me. I had never wanted to beat anyone as much as I did at that moment. Nothing else mattered, I wanted- no needed to kick his ass. He pushed me back, and I flipped in the middle of the air, landing on the balls of my feet and a crouch. Slowly, I stood and glared at the man in front of me.

Without a word he launched a blaze of yellow from his sword, and I dodged, running into the shelter of the trees. A rough laugh erupted from the mouth of Zaraki Kenpachi and a thrill surged through my body. He only thought he had me on the run. I would show him just how wrong he was.

"Kuro." I murmured, and concealed my reaitsu. I knew Kenpachi had difficulty locating people by their reaitsu, so I would use that to my advantage.

_"Right."_ Tapping into his power, I disappeared into the shadows, moving in the darkness of the forest. Zaraki walked through the forest grinning. Occasionally he would slice through the trees, letting them crash behind him. He was trying to trap me in the woods. Hah! As if that would work- not when I was little more than a shadow.

He walked past a large shadow and then stopped his eyes darting about, narrowed in concentration? Suddenly his sword pierced through the shadows and I fled to another, which he shortly attacked. _He can sense us?_ Kuro growled, infuriated. It was impossible! Not even my- that man could sense me when I was like this!

I shifted from shadow to shadow, leading Kenpachi further and further into the darker woods. He followed, trying to slice the shadow I was in. In a demented way it was like we were playing tag, only in a very dangerous way. Then his reaitsu disappeared, and I stopped. There was absolutely no way that he could repress that much reaistu, not without the aid of his eye patch. Could he?

I headed back and spotted him not far from where I had last seen him. The sun barely pierced through the entwined branches of the water starved trees. His eyes were locked on something and a wild grin was across his face, like he had something. Instinct told me not to, but I emerged from a shadow in the heights of a tree right above him. Kuro turned into a katana once more and I silently launched out of the tree. He must've sensed me because the blasted man looked up and stopped my blade from biting into his shoulder. Kenpachi gaze one power shove and threw me into a tree.

I tried to fade, but then one large hand grabbed my sword arm and wrenched away Kuro, while a chipped blade lay against my neck. I looked up and glared at the amber eyes that looked down at me with the fire of battle that lit his eyes and the expressive grinned that stretched across his face. It seemed as though he'd become mad, but slowly, as I watched the fire died and his expression turned to a frown.

He looked down at me, "I win, onna."

I scowl up at him and a smirk spread across his face. I had fought this man, to the best of my ability and he mocked me; despite the ice having melted from my veins that something still lingered. His eyes flashed with that unknown look I had glimpsed earlier. That look stopped my breath and sent thrills running all over my body.

Lips crashed against mine, and I gasped. Kenpachi immediately took advantage and slid his tongue in between my parted lips and began to explore my mouth. My hands traitorously ran up his chest, savoring the feel of him.

_What am I doing?_ I pushed at the man, and he growled as he was forced away from my lips.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I snarl, glaring up at the man who'd defeated me.

He returned my scowl with one much better than my own attempt. Then he smirked, "Getting my winnings."

His lips were once again against my own, rough and demanding. I tried to push him away again, but his large hands cupped face, pressing closer as he pinned me against a tree. He nipped at my bottom lip, wanting entrance to my mouth once again. I bit his lip, hard enough to draw blood and he growled, before using his hands to force my mouth open. My hands, which had balled into tight fists in order to pound at his chest, flattened against the hard muscle of the smooth chest, as his tongue worked wonders on my mouth.

I lightly nipped his tongue and he groaned, pressing further against me until there was no space between our two bodies. My hands, the traitors slid up his chest and around his neck. As my fingers slid into his hair, which had fallen loose in our fight, I realized I wanted him. Warm hands left my face to slide down my sides. He grabbed my hips and pulled me up, so we were on level with one another. Instinctively I wrapped legs around him, sighs of contentment escaping from my lips. Our kiss heightened and became rougher, I tugged at his hair and nipped his tongue as he fought to claim my mouth and occasionally push me roughly against the trunk of the tree.

I wanted Zaraki Kenpachi.

Then and there. No waiting involved.

Thankfully, it seemed like he wanted me even more.

* * *

Alright my readers. Depending on your reviews I will take this further, and be explicit or I will skip over the whole deal. Just review or just shoot me a message. Either way wworks as long as I know what it is y'all want.-SW

* * *

_Next time:_

_It didn't change anything between us and for that I was glad. We weren't friends or sex friends. I suppose one would call us lovers, without romance. He wanted me and I wanted him. If he loved or wanted someone else he didn't say and neither did I. It was nothing, just 'd be surpised at what you can learn about a person through said action. There were times when he's take me much as he had the first time, but there were times when he was gentle and quite frankly it melted my heart, especially when he would stop if I didn't want to do it that day._

_This was bad, because I was doing the one thing I'd sworn to never do- I was falling in love. And to make it even worse it was with fight happy Zaraki Kenpachi. _

_However there was one thing that neither of us did when we slept with eachother. We never said the other's name. It killed me and saved me at the same time. If he said mine it meant there was some kind emotional connection between us, and I'm not sure if it would make my happy or not... And if I ever said his I was almost certain that he would leave. I wanted things to stay the way they were. _

_But somewhere in my heart I knew that they could never remain this way forever._


	22. Needs Chapter 22

I would like to say that all the reviews I have gotten for this story far exceed my expectations, and I am very glad that so many of y'all are continuing to read despite some of the larger gaps between chapters. Anyhow I don't own Bleach or any of the character therein except for my OCs.

To my readers: If any of you who enjoy my story are Beta Readers I'd like to know, cause I'm searching for a Beta reader in order to help me out with developing Ami and what's going within the story. So if anyone would like to be my Beta Reader message me.

As per reader majority I have changed the rating of this story, due to the content of this chapter. I would like readers to know that this chapter is not necessary to continue reading this chapter as I have started putting in reminders of what happened in the last chapter (as much for me as it is for y'all), so if you choose to skip this chapter it's alright, there will be a reminder of what happened in the last few moments of this chapter.

Thank you for reading and I hope that you continue to stay with the story. -SighingWinter

* * *

_Previously_

_His lips were once again against my own, rough and demanding. I tried to push him away again, but his large hands cupped face, pressing closer as he pinned me against a tree. He nipped at my bottom lip, wanting entrance to my mouth once again. I bit his lip, hard enough to draw blood and he growled, before using his hands to force my mouth open. My hands, which had balled into tight fists in order to pound at his chest, flattened against the hard muscle of the smooth chest, as his tongue worked wonders on my mouth. _

_I lightly nipped his tongue and he groaned, pressing further against me until there was no space between our two bodies. My hands, the traitors slid up his chest and around his neck. As my fingers slid into his hair, which had fallen loose in our fight, I realized I wanted him. Warm hands left my face to slide down my sides. He grabbed my hips and pulled me up, so we were on level with one another. Instinctively I wrapped legs around him, sighs of contentment escaping from my lips. Our kiss heightened and became rougher, I tugged at his hair and nipped his tongue as he fought to claim my mouth and occasionally push me roughly against the trunk of the tree._

_I wanted Zaraki Kenpachi. _

_Then and there. No waiting involved._

_Thankfully, it seemed like he wanted me even more. _

He was hard, the proof of that was pressing against my thigh. Kenpachi growled and his lips were attacking my neck in rough kisses and bites. I arched my neck, letting him ravage me where ever it was he desired. One hand ran down my back and squeezed my rear, and a groan mixed with a squeal escaped my lips. He seemed to like that sound because he squeezed again and the sound rushed past my lips again. He grinned against my neck, as he pulled away the collar of my uniform with his teeth. His right hand left my hair to release the ties that kept my pants on. The white cloth floated to the ground and the cloth that covered my lower back and all that was lower slipped. The feeling of the somewhat rough cloth sliding against my heated skin felt so good, a sweet torture that I knew would end shortly.

His right hand then tugged open my top, leaving little to be concealed. Hot lips left my skin as he pause to look at my figure. I opened half lidded eyes and flushed, seeing the look of absolute want in his gaze. "K-" Amber eyes met mine in a look that silenced me and I understood. Zaraki moved back in, teeth and lips wreaking havoc on my brain. Too many signals were going everywhere. One large hand ripped away my bra and began to fondle the mound. I moaned as his thumb brushed against nipple as he began exploring my other breast with his mouth. My head flew back, so overwhelmed was I from the sensations running through my body.

Suddenly he let go of my ass, forcing me to scramble against him in order to stay where I was. His chest rumbled in a quiet laugh which melded to a groan as my heat brushed against his clothed erection. I grasped his shoulders, burying my face in his neck as the fallen hand pulled my open pants down along with my underwear. Hands slid up and down my body in a sinful and skilled way, teasing sensitive places on my sides and then sliding down to grip my ass again. I moaned lowly, panting.

"That's it." He growled lowly, almost savagely.

"Wha-?" Sexually drugged as I was I could barely bring myself to speak, and didn't even get the words out of my mouth before Kenpachi fell to the ground. He wrestled with the tie that kept him trapped growling incoherently as he tried to undo the tie. I rose to my knees and pulled his head to me, crashing my lips against his. I needed the contact, the heat between us no matter how brief was necessary for me to breathe right then. His reaction was to shove my roughly backwards, kissing me hard and melding our bodies together as he tugged away his pants and whatever else he wore and pressed his erection against my heat, cause me to writhe and moan under him.

Zaraki Kenpachi stared down at me, watching every expression that crossed my face as he slid inside of me. I was no virgin but it had been many years and even then I had not enjoyed it in any sense of the word. I opened my eyes and bit my lip hard enough to draw blood, refusing to cry out in pain. Kenpachi waited for a moment, his arms trembling in effort, as though the act between us was more than getting rid of two similar needs. I ran my hands up his muscled arms and wrapped my legs around him, following the instinct as his member stretched me beyond what I thought was possible.

Kenpachi growled and began thrusting into me, hard and rough. I cried out half in ecstasy half in pain. My hands gripped his hair pulling not so gently. That only seemed to turn him on even further; he moved in and out of me then abruptly pulled out. I whimpered not in least satisfied, something burned inside of me and it had to be solved. It had to go away, and Kenpachi was the only one who could get rid of it.

"Don't!" I gasped out in desperation.

"I don't plan on stopping for a very long time, onna." He growled in my ear, before turning me over and raising my hips. I couldn't ask because the moment I opened my mouth he slid inside me once more and I moaned. He growled and grabbed my hips moving in and out of me, fast and hard. He hit something inside of me and my arms gave out. I moaned loud enough that Kenpachi paused for a moment then let out a low laugh before striking that spot inside of me once again. I moaned louder gasping for breath. Over and over the sweet torture built inside of me.

He stopped leaving me on the brink of insanity. "Please!" I gasped out, my body shaking from need. The only thing keeping me up was the large hands that clenched my hips.

"What?" He rumbled, his teeth nipping my earlobe. His chest pressed against my back and I automatically matched my breath to his, our pants and gasps for breath coming and going in time.

"PLEASE!" I cried, about to weep for need. He growled and suddenly I was on his lap, his hands holding me above him, his cock barely inside of me. He thrusted up and pushed me down as the same time, and the tidal wave crashed over me. I screamed and bit his neck, drawing blood as I came hard. The entire world went white, as he moved inside me a few more times before pulling out and cumming. He leaned back against a tree cradling my limp body to his chest.

We returned to the barracks after another round of rough sex. I wearily bathed, washing off any trace of our escapade. I scowled at the marks he'd left on my skin, knowing that there were not only those, but also more that I couldn't see.

I think Yumichika guessed at what had happened, because he looked at me after I got back with this knowing glint in his eyes. Thankfully the others remained obvious to our changed interactions at night, or if they caught us alone in some random corridor, which had happened once or twice when we hadn't been as aware.

It didn't change anything between us, the sex, and for that I was glad. We weren't friends or sex friends. I suppose one would call us lovers, without romance. He wanted me and I wanted him. If he loved or wanted someone else he didn't say and neither did I. It was nothing; you'd be surprised at what you can learn about a person through said action. There were times when he's take me much as he had the first time, but there were times when he was gentle and quite frankly it melted my heart, especially when he would stop if I didn't want to do it that day.

This was bad, because I was doing the one thing I'd sworn to never do- I was falling in love. And to make it even worse it was with fight happy Zaraki Kenpachi. A man who would never want me in the same way I wanted him. Of course I couldn't quite determine if I wanted him as a real lover or as something more or less permanent.

However there was one thing that neither of us did when we slept with each other. We never said the other's name. It killed me and saved me at the same time. If he said mine it meant there was some kind emotional connection between us, and I'm not sure if it would make my happy or not... And if I ever said his I was almost certain that he would leave. I wanted things to stay the way they were.

But somewhere in my heart I knew that they could never remain this way forever.

I was right- about a year after our first time with one another he and a large group of eleventh division members, Yachirru included, left the Seirretti to provide protection detail for some important noble or another. Only the seated officers, I, Tanaka and a few others stayed behind. Not even twenty four hours had passed before all hell broke loose.

* * *

_Next Time:_

_"Kuro!" I called looking at my unresponsive blade. Nothing. I shook and nothing. He was completely silent, as though he longer existed. Which was impossible, he could only not exist if I died, and clearly I was not dead. Well, not yet anyways. I danced out of the way as the hollow attempted to attack me with its claws and broke its mask with a well aimed kido._

_A few hours later I was back in my room, in the Soul Society and sitting on my bed, Kuro's katana form resting on my knees. Out of practice I closed my eyes and dove into my mind. I appeared on the plain and headed towards the area where the palace stood. The normal road didn't appear forcing me to swim to the palace. Everything was dark and terribly silent. "Kuro?" I called walking quickly through every hall of the palace._

_"Kuro? Hello?" was all that greeted me._

_What the hell was going on?_


	23. Alone Chapter 23

I would like to say that all the reviews I have gotten for this story far exceed my expectations, and I am very glad that so many of y'all are continuing to read despite some of the larger gaps between chapters.

Anyhow I don't own Bleach or any of the characters therein except for my OCs.

To my readers: If any of you who enjoy my story are Beta Readers I'd like to know, cause I'm searching for a Beta reader in order to help me out with developing Ami and what's going within the story. So if anyone would like to be my Beta Reader message me.

Thank you for reading and I hope that you continue to stay with the story. -SighingWinter

**P.S This is important so I'm putting this in bolded letters. I know where this is headed, and there will be some spoiler for the Zanpakto Rebellion Arc of BLEACH. Only slightly since, I really dont want to ruin the amazeing experience for any of you who haven't seen it. I will say this though- the zanpakto rebellion is key to what happens later on so please, I promise no mager spoilers such as what happens at the end of the arc or anything, I'm just using the idea to further this whole story along. **

* * *

_Previously_

_I was right- about a year after our first time with one another he and a large group of eleventh division members, Yachirru included, left the Seirretti to provide protection detail for some important noble or another. Only the seated officers, I, Tanaka and a few others stayed behind. Not even twenty four hours had passed before all hell broke loose._

* * *

After they left I found myself in a surprising position. I had nothing to do. Most of the trouble makers had gone with Yachirru and the Taichou, which meant my healing skills were barely necessary; which was nice at first but one can only relax for so long before one gets the itch. The one that demands you to do something. At first it was satisfied with me walking around with Ikakku and Yumichika, but that lasted for all of a few hours before I began offering to teach at the Soul Academy and work a few hours in my true Division.

I was teaching/encouraging the students at the Soul Academy, to reach inside of themselves, in order to find their zanpakto when I realized that my own zanpakto had been strangely silent as of late. I decided to investigate later, thinking that Kuro was just irate with me over one thing or another. The class had gone particularly well, with three or four students successfully meeting their fighting companion. That should've been the first thing to tip me off, because generally that never happened, especially if this was only the students second time at attempting such a feat that took some grown shinigami years to complete. Per usual, I was oblivious thinking that they might have known about the spirit residing within, a circumstance that was like mine. I dismissed the class feeling light. After ushering the last student, a young girl named Shiriko out of the room; I sat down and began my own meditation.

I quietly summoned the katana form of my zanpakto and took a breath to mentally prepare for whatever scathing comments he came up with. I closed my eyes and was about to withdraw into my mind when something brushed across my cheek. I opened blue-grey eyes and gazed quizzically at the hell butterfly that fluttered through the air around my face. I groaned upon receiving the notice that it carried.

Once every hundred years or so, healers were required to go out into the human world and, "display our commitment to the duties and requirements of a shinigami" as the notice so kindly signed by Central 46 said. In other words, they kicked us out of the Spirit World with the expectation that we would kill a few hollows and come back in one piece. Why? Honestly I have no idea but others in my Division did. My person favorite was that Central 46 was secretly trying to kill us all so that they could take over the whole of the Spirit World, without having to deal with our greatest shinigami being badly wound, getting healed, and going back and kicking their asses. Personally, I think it was more of a reminder that everyone, healer or not, could be forced into a combat situation and therefore had to always remain in the same shape as they'd been when they first donned the shinigami uniform. Anyhow, my time was today and this time there was a two hour time limit from the moment I stepped out of the precipice world. How fun…

I quickly gave the hell butterfly my affirmative to the situation (not like I had much of a choice anyways) and hurried out of the academy to tell Ikakku, in case anybody came to look for me (or if I was destined to have a funeral and people wanted to actually know what happened.)

Then I took off, wanting to get this stupid thing done and over with, that way I could get back in time enough for me to get at least a bit of dinner and sleep. I stepped through one get and moments later out the other. It was twilight in the human world, with the red sun retreating behind the horizon as if it did not wish to see what happened in the shadows of its sibling, the moon.

The eerie howl of a deranged hollow split the crisp air and I sighed, kicking off the roof to get this over and done with. I ran through the early night, passing a reaitsu that felt vaguely familiar. I pushed off the ground and landed on a nearby pole that had some kind of thick cords running around it to other poles to my right and left. The strangeness of the poles I ignored, my eyes locked on the hollow below.

I had never seen anything like it, not in text books or in reality. The tormented soul had twisted in its agony of having never been released and had become a monster, even for a hollow. It's head was a snake's head with fangs that dripped some kind of green liquid, the neck short and covered with white spikes that vaguely resembled a mane, the front of the hollow's body looked similar to a cat's while its end was taller than its front with thick rear feet that resembled and elephant's only shorter, much shorter. I watched in sick fascination as the hollow waved its head back and forth in a slow, distinctly snake-ish way as it hissed. A shiver slid down my spine. I reached up to touch my choker only to find it gone.

Panic consumed me for a moment, and the hollow suddenly looked at me, it's forked tongue flicked out tasting the air. I gaped down at the hollow, and a squeal escaped my lips as it launched its body towards me with surprising speed and dare I saw a form or grace. I jumped off the roof and hit the ground in a low crouch. The hollow's eyes tracked my movement and it twisted it's body in a sickeningly spineless way. I reached towards my belt and was surprised to come into contact with a tattered hilt. Momentarily I gaped down at the hilt, and then looked back up just in time to jump back from the hollow's cat claws.

I drew Kuro with a slow and fluid motion, the familiar weight of the blade comforting me. "Let's get this over with Kuro!" I called out his summon as the hollow paused, fear flashing through its inhuman gaze. Only nothing happened. No black blue light, no change. It was like he was gone and all that was left was an empty and now useless katana. The hollow waited for a moment watching with its putrid gaze then let out a long hiss that cut off every now and then, like it was laughing. Then it lunged and I slid out of its way, too concerned with my oldest friend to give a rat's ass about something I could kill with a few, well aimed kidos.

"Kuro!" I called looking at my unresponsive blade. Nothing.

"Kuro this is not the time to pout!" I yelled escaping another lunge from the hollow.

I even shook the blade and nothing happened! He was completely silent, as though he longer existed. Which was impossible, he could only not exist if I died, and clearly I was not dead. Well, not yet anyways. I danced out of the way as the hollow attempted to attack me with its claws and broke its mask with a well aimed kido, slightly angered at the blade that I carried.

A few hours later I was back in my room, in the Soul Society and sitting on my bed, Kuro's katana form resting on my knees. Ikakku knew I'd come back and had asked how it had gone, only to roll his eyes as I walked past him and Yumichika muttering foul things at the tattered katana. Out of practice I closed my eyes, driving away the anger and irritation knowing it would do me no good when I met Kuroryu; and dove into my mind. I appeared on the plain and headed towards the area where the palace stood. The normal road didn't appear forcing me to swim to the palace, which only served to make me more irate at the man. However, all of that disappeared when I entered his palace; everything was dark and terribly silent. If there was one thing Kuro did not like it was darkness, ironic I know.

"Kuro?" I called walking through the halls of the palace, slowly at first. As the silence became deafening I broke into a run, calling for my oldest and most trusted friend.

"Kuro? Hello?"

Nothing.

Silence was all that greeted me and for the first time I felt truly alone and frightened. The fear that engulfed me, nothing topped it, not even the demented being that had supposedly been a father. It was all consuming leaving nothing in its wake. I was alone, truly alone with a darkness that threatened to eat me.

I forced my eyes open and gasped, as my fear knotted muscles crapped and forced me to the floor.

What the hell was going on?

* * *

_Next Time:_

_I whirled around, my empty zanpakto held out in front of me, as I gazed quickly around the walkway. _

_"Who's there?" I called, keeping the tattered katana in front of me, as my eyes lighted on a moving shadow. A man stepped out of the shadows and looked at me._

_He was beautiful, easily the most handsome man I had ever seen, no one could possibly compare to the man was stood before me. Long ebony tresses that were straighter than a board with deep red eyes and robes that seemed to shift to different reds as he moved towards me. He was graceful and slow, it was that walk, the one of a predator stalking its prey that shook me out of my momentary daze. _

_"Kuro?" I murmured as my arms and hands falling limply to my sides. The katana clattered to the ground, barely making any noise as my brain attempted to process what I was seeing. I heard the shock that colored my voice and figured my eyes were wider than saucers. _

_He smiled, revealing small fangs. He stopped barely six inches away from me, close enough to touch. "Hello Ami." A slender hand reached out and touched my face. I jerked; he was warm, as though he had blood running through his vein and a beating heart._

_"What's going on? How are you…?" I breathed in amazement. He gently pulled me into an embrace. "You have no idea how good this feels..." He breathed, lips caressing my ear._

_I paused for a moment then hugged him in return, smiling. He was here. I wasn't alone anymore. He pulled away to tilt my head up and look down at me, a soft expression on his face. _

_"Good bye, Ami." He tugged me towards him and one of his clawed hands pierced through my stomach. He held my head against his shoulder, his left hand gently pulling out my hair and petting it. I gasped for breath, as shock tore through my body. _

_"You should have chosen me." _


	24. Far Too Many Plans Chapter 24

I would like to say that all the reviews I have gotten for this story far exceed my expectations, and I am very glad that so many of y'all are continuing to read despite some of the larger gaps between chapters.

Anyhow I don't own Bleach or any of the characters therein except for my OCs.

To my readers: If any of you who enjoy my story are Beta Readers I'd like to know, cause I'm searching for a Beta reader in order to help me out with developing Ami and what's going within the story. So if anyone would like to be my Beta Reader message me.

Thank you for reading and I hope that you continue to stay with the story. -SighingWinter

**This is for Safuuru, Moonlight's Shadow Warrior, and TheBegining'sEnd. All of whom have been reading and reviewing. Without you three I dont know what I'd do. **

**Thank you. **

* * *

_Previously_

_Silence was all that greeted me and for the first time I felt truly alone and frightened. The fear that engulfed me, nothing topped it, not even the demented being that had supposedly been a father. It was all consuming leaving nothing in its wake. I was alone, truly alone with a darkness that threatened to eat me. _

_I forced my eyes open and gasped, as my fear knotted muscles crapped and forced me to the floor. _

_What the hell was going on?_

* * *

I couldn't sleep. Fear clung to me like a wet silken sheet; if I slept the emptiness of my dreams would reinforce the fact that Kuro was gone. I could not handle being alone. If I was alone everything else would come apart. Without Kuro I was useless. He was essential to my being anything. I was going to die without him. No I was already dead.

Warm hands, smooth and silky cupped my face and I looked into familiar violet eyes. Yumichika looked at me, and nodded, "So it has happened to you as well."

"He's gone… He… He can't…" I gasped out, reaching out for something familiar.

"Shut it. We don't have much time. Captains want all shinigami in Fourth now." Ikakku stood behind him, looking his robes tattered and blood seeping down his face. He stomped around Yumichika and grabbed me roughly by the arm, "Get up healer girl." I obeyed, going on auto pilot, still murmuring about Kuro. He couldn't possibly be gone, there was just no way in the world that that could happen. Hands tugged my insistently urging my footsteps from a grudging walk to a run in a matter of minutes. Suddenly I stopped, remembering the blade I had simply left on the floor of my bedroom. I turned intending to head back when firm arms grabbed me.

"Ami, don't be stupid." Ikakku called. He was yelling straight into my ear but I didn't mind, having barely heard him at all.

"I forgot my katana. Let go!" I demanded, thrashing against him. His tones arms strained to hold me back, but I twisted away from the demanding grasp and shunpoed back to Eleventh Division. Both men began to follow, but stopped and went east, as though something had happened.

I dashed through darkened corridors, entirely empty of any life, except for the shadows, caused by candle light, that danced across the white walls in an impossibly twisted and complicated dance. Unbeknownst to me, one shadow twisted away from the rest and followed me.

I burst into the room and grabbed sheathed blade in my hands, and hugged it close. It was all I had left, the only thing that could possibly keep me ground to this world. Urgency stole my body and I rushed out. Ikakku had something about getting to Fourth Division, even if I didn't know what was going on that's where I would go. My shadow ran ahead of me, urging me on as it looked towards the moon that rose behind me. Suddenly a dagger flashed in front of me, hitting the wall. I skidded to a halt drawing the katana that was now at my waist.

I whirled around, my empty zanpakto held out in front of me, as I gazed quickly around the walkway.

"Who's there?" I called, keeping the tattered katana in front of me, as my eyes lighted on a moving shadow. A man stepped out of the shadows and looked at me.

He was beautiful, easily the most handsome man I had ever seen, no one could possibly compare to the man was stood before me. Long ebony tresses that were straighter than a board with deep red eyes and robes that seemed to shift to different reds as he moved towards me. He was graceful and slow, it was that walk, the one of a predator stalking its prey that shook me out of my momentary daze.

"Kuro?" I murmured as my arms and hands falling limply to my sides. The katana clattered to the ground, barely making any noise as my brain attempted to process what I was seeing. I heard the shock that colored my voice and figured my eyes were wider than saucers.

He smiled, revealing small fangs. He stopped barely six inches away from me, close enough to touch. "Hello Ami." A slender hand reached out and touched my face. I jerked; he was warm, as though he had blood running through his veins and a beating heart.

"What's going on? How are you…?" I breathed in amazement. He gently pulled me into an embrace.

"You have no idea how good this feels… to hold you in my arms…" He breathed, lips caressing my ear.

I paused for a moment then hugged him in return, smiling. He was here. I wasn't alone anymore. He was real and I was safe from the darkness that tugged at me. He pulled away to tilt my head up and look down at me, a soft expression on his face.

"Good bye, Ami." He tugged me towards him and one of his clawed hands pierced through my stomach. He held my head against his shoulder, his left hand gently pulling out my hair and petting it. I gasped for breath, as shock tore through my body.

"You should have chosen me."

His voice was soft, gentle, and caring, just like his embrace. He slowly pulled away, and I stumbled until my back hit the white wall behind me. My legs could hold me up and I slid limply to the ground, as I looked at the wound that was right above my right hip and a little to the left. Instinctively I attempted to cover it up, stem the bleeding, as my eyes searched out and found the gazed of Kuro.

"Why?" I gasped out, the pain finally seeping into my system.

Kuro licked his claws, tasting my blood. His eyes closed for a moment, as if it was the best thing he'd ever tasted. Dark red eyes sparked as his smirked at me mockingly.

"I wanted freedom and Muramasa gave it to me. I wanted...free from ….can't even face herself." His voice was soft, as he shrugged carelessly as his smirk deepened. Then his eyes narrowed. "Then… your…actions….that man."

I couldn't quite understand everything he was saying, everything was blurring, and his voice sounded so far. A part of me rejoiced at him being there, standing in front of me. While another part of me wanted him to drop dead for his betrayal.

"I was first!" His voice growled, low and dangerous and then he laughed lowly, "And now I will be the last person you ever see. First and last and there's nothing that man can do..." His lips were against mine again and then he was walking away.

I wanted to reach out towards his back, ask him to stay. "Don't…" I gasped out. "Don't let me… die alone… please… Kuro…" His name froze him in place. "You promised…."

His laugh was cold. "I promised… girl who was...and strong… not you"

He walked into the shadows and disappeared. Tears slipped down my face running wet tracks down my face and getting some of my blood off of my face. I was alone and I was dying. Fear thrummed a triumphant tune through my body and the darkness began to surround me. Death.

Something white covered my blurring vision, and I looked up the contrast so stark against the blackness that seeming to slow as the white moved.

"You will…die…today Ami." The voice was rough, and soft. Rough music I had heard so little in my years as a child. A snort escaped my lips, "I know that Daairu." At least that's what I think I said, I wasn't really sure due to my mouth feeling like it was stuffed with thick cotton.

A hand was on my head and then gone. I was alone again. I looked up at the dark sky and glimpsed a bright star as the slowed darkness travelled ever closer.

Alone. Yes, that's what I was, always had been. I was alone.

My greatest fear. The one I hadn't ever desired to face. The fears of being alone, of never having anyone close. I looked back and sighed, I had never tried to get close. Maybe being alone wasn't really my fear… Yes… That was it. I smiled at the dimmed stars above my head. "Thank you…" The tears still dripped down my face, but they weren't tears of fear- not this time.

A Captain strode through a door and into an empty chamber, the white haori flaring behind the tall shinigami. The man grabbed a jug and took a large slug out to the bottle, sighing in relief as the alcohol slid down his throat. It was the only way he was going to be able to stomach what he'd seen; unfortunately it wouldn't keep him from dreaming about it. He grimaced as he felt an annoyingly familiar presence appear from the shadows behind him.

"Well, well, if it isn't Kuroryu." He mocked, taking another deep slug from the sake bottle, not caring that some of it escaped his mouth and dribbled down the side of his chin.

"Daairu." The zanpakto replied coldly.

The father of Ami gulped down the remains of the sake bottle and began searching his room for yet another as the silence stretched out between the two men who had been at odds for, at the very least, several hundred years.

"At last…" The shinigami rasped, opening another bottle and downing at least half in a single slug. He slumped to the ground, leaning against the bed.

"Tell me." The zanpakto growled, his patience running at an extreme low. Daairu looked at the spirit or Ami's sword, catching and understanding the flashes that went through his mind.

"I have too many plans. She'll live."

"She had better." Kuro rumbled, "or I will tear you limb from limb and feed you the devil myself." The ebony hair flowed behind him as he disappeared into the shadows with one final warning. "I'm watching you."

Daairu had downed two more bottles before he sensed the zanpakto's presence fade entirely from his chamber. Yes she would live; he had far too many plans that could go wrong if she died now. He would wait and bide his time. When the time was right, Ami would die along with everyone else in the Soul Society.

If all went according to plan, even the Soul Society wouldn't remain.

Daairu chuckled to himself. Oh yes… This would definitely entertain him for the next thousand years.

* * *

_Next Time:_

_They watched me now and treated me more carefully than before. Then again, it might've been because they thought I had lost my mind. I had realized something that night, the night I could have and by all rights, should have died. I had been afraid of something I hadn't even recognized. Myself and the changes, the repercussions and advantages that came with that. Now, I had decided to -sort of- hug me a bit closer. I was surprised to discover that that timid attempt actually helped something click. I felt happy and content, because I was the one thing I'd never been._

_Whole._

_I had always pushed away a part of me that I was frightened of, even more so than I was frightened of men, which I might add wasn't so much anymore. It was a part of me that I had been afraid of because it was like him. It enjoyed having power over someone, it enjoyed fighting, and it was just a bit too much like that man._

_Granted I wasn't completely whole. I mean, it really isn't easy accepting that a part of you is seriously malformed, (unless you're psychotic like Kurotsuchi Taichou- then you're just mad and you need to be put in a place that you can't hurt yourself ) but I was working on it, and I felt a bit more.. Confident. Even as the world continued to becoming increasingly hellish day by day, I woke and worked on healing myself, both body and mind. By the time I fully recovered. I felt mostly ready for what I was about to do. _

_It was time kill Kuroryu._


	25. Responsiblity Chapter 25

I would like to say that all the reviews I have gotten for this story far exceed my expectations, and I am very glad that so many of you are continuing to read despite some of the larger gaps between chapters.

Anyhow I don't own Bleach or any of the characters therein except for my OCs.

To my readers: If any of you who enjoy my story are Beta Readers I'd like to know, cause I'm searching for a Beta reader in order to help me out with developing Ami and what's going within the story. So if anyone would like to be my Beta Reader message me. Thank you for reading and I hope that you continue to stay with the story.

-SighingWinter

**This is for Safuuru, Moonlight's Shadow Warrior, TheBeginingsEnd, ThablueGRRL, and EmeraldMelodyZz. Thank you everyone who has messaged and reviewed. Sorry it took so long minna!**

* * *

I woke up and I felt a strange urge to turn and search for the bedside warmth I knew wouldn't be there- it wasn't ever ever. Sighing deeply I looked up at the familiar ceiling, knowing exactly how many patches spotted the roof. I recounted anyways, just to see if anything had changed in the past year.

137.

The same number. A part of me that had ached for the familiar rooms of Fourth Division sighed happily like a cat finding a nice warm sunlit spot in which to nap. I closed my eyes in a slow- no I did not doze off- blink. When I opened my eyes two very familiar faces loomed overhead.

"At last! You're awake!" Yumichika cried, apparently elated that I could open my eyes.

"tch. The world could've collapsed and you would've slept." Ikkaku's familiar voice was more welcome to my ears, as it was similar to the voice I missed- wait missed? Where did that come from? Mentally shaking my head I tried to sit up only to hiss as pain shot through my body. Thunder roared in my ears and for a moment my vision went white.

"Easy there Healer girl." Strong arms wrapped around me, assisting my body as Yumihika called out for something. His loud voice irritated my ears and I grimanced.

"I thought we were past Healer girl." I mumbled, gratefully leaning onto Ikkaku. My head pounded, worse than any hangover I'd eve had; granted I'd only had one in my life when I had been too trusting of Ikkaku, Ibu, Matsumoto, Kira, and Hisagi. Urg, that did not help my head in the least...

"Oi, onna."

Water and three extraordinaryily familiar pills swirled into my vision, "Healer said ta take em." Even knowing I wouldn't like the bitter aftertaste of those pills I obediently chewed them up and swallowed some water, with the reluctant aide of my two friends. In moments the pain faded and I sighed in Reliefe.

"...Muramasa, he's got this strange power to speak to zanpaktos. The taichos said he was the one responsible for turning them against us." Yumichika's voice wove through my brain and slowly I registered his words. He continued on updating me and the last hint I recall hearing before my drug foggy brain shut down was something about Kenpachi.

Over the next few days, I spent in the healing room, waiting for my stomach to heal as my reaitsu returned in slow ammounts. It wasn't until around the third or fourth day when I finally got sick of waiting around for people to walk in and tell me the news. If I had to sit for another day or even another hour I wasn't sure I'd manage to keep my sanity. A wry smile crossed my lips, how long ago was it that I couldn't understand the reasons why Eleventh Divsion shinigami couldn't remain still and rest? Yet another way in which I had changed. Dragging myself to my feet, after doing some healing kido of my own, I snuck outside and headed towards the gardens. They were more bushes at this time of year, since most flowers planted here bloomed only in spring. Idly wandering the south garden I ran a hand over leaves and the few summer blooms that had managed an existence here. How stubborn they were. I silently marvled at their audacity only to catch myself in the middle and laugh. Treating them as hough they were human. How unusual!

"Not to mention absurd." I added aloud, in part to ease my thoughts as well as the unnaturally silent world around me. It was late evening, a time when the clear chirpping of birds and whistles of crickets fill the world with sound. Now, as the blood orange sun began to set, the world was filled with a deathly hush; as though the world waited with baited breath to see the outcome of the next few days or weeks. However long it would take to subdue this Zanpakto Rebellion. The situation was aptly named, hurt like hell too... Pushing away that specific painfilled memory, I walked on only to bang into something unforgivingly solid. As the laws of physics dictated I stumbled back, clutching a severely abused nose.

"I have got to stop running into things." I muttered.

I looked up to scowl at the wall, and that's when it hit me. They- Ikkaku and Yumichika- had been watching me and had been treating me more carefully than before. Then again, it might've been because they thought I had lost my mind, considering the way I had reacted to loosing Kuro. I realized something then; the night I could have and by all rights, should have died. I had been afraid of something I hadn't even recognized. Myself and the changes, the repercussions and advantages that came with that. Now, I (still holding my nose) decided to -in a sense- hold myself a bit closer. It was surprising to discover that that running it into a wall actually helped something click. And for the strangest moment I felt happy and content, because I was on the way to becoming the one thing I'd never been.

Whole.

I think that I had always pushed away a part of me that I was frightened of, even more so than I was frightened of men, which I might add wasn't so much anymore. It was a part of me that I had been afraid of because it was like HIM. It enjoyed having power over someone, it enjoyed fighting, and it was just a bit too much like that man. Granted I wasn't completely whole- not by a long shot. I mean, it really isn't easy accepting that a part of you is seriously malformed, (unless you're psychotic like Kurotsuchi Taichou- then you're just mad and you need to be put in a place that you can't hurt yourself) but I was going to work on it, and right then- I felt a bit more.. Confident. Even as the world continued to becoming increasingly hellish day by day, I would wake and work on healing myself, both body and mind. By the time I fully recovered I would feel mostly ready for what I had to do. Kill Kuroryu. How odd that I had just now realized this thanks to a wall. Laughter bubbled within and I released it, filling the silent world with the sound of startled reliefe mixed with happiness and just a bit of hysteria, perhaps. Once I stood, I bowed and murmured words of gratitude to the wall before making my way towards the healing room.

Soon.

Soon I would be healed, and that's when I would strike.

The days folded into one another like a fan being closed, some days flew by while others...didnt. Slowly I had examined myself, with a bit of help from Unahana-Taicho when she visited me once, and picked up the jagged edges of my soul. I was about halfway complete but I couldn't bring myself to go any further. There was only so much I could tackle before breaking down, and I had already passed that point about two days ago. Frustrated I released a piece of a jigsaw puzzle that was laid out in front of me, partially completed. I wasn't even half way there! Trying to calm myself down I reached over and picked up the white bone comb Yumichika had left with me a few days back.

"I take it back sometime."he'd said.

Using the device now, I attempted to let my mental frustrations flow from my heart and into the knots that were determined to remain in my hair, so that as each knot was eased apart so too were my frustrations. Needless to say that by the time I was done I was indeed calmer, but my frustrations were still there. Gently placing the comb down, I slowly stood and began to streatch. It was in the middle of the splits that feet pounded against the wooden floors outside my room. The sudden slamming of my door startled me as a panting Hanatarou tried to frantically deliver his message, before running off once more- probably to deliver the same verbal message to someone else.

Having caught, "Unohana- meeting- onegaishimasu." I pondered for a brief moment before slowly standing and putting on my uniform. As I made my way through familiar halls, I watched as healers rushed back and forth, tired and panicked looking. The sight made a brief frown come to my face, I hadn't known about or even heard any of the commotion from my room. I was about to turn a corner when a sight reached my eyes that stopped me.

It was that girl from the Soul Academy- Shiriko. Rather, the body had been known as Shiriko. She looked like she was sleeping, and I fought back the urge to really check to see if that was the case, she was dead. Looking further down the hall, she was one of many. They all lined the wall, and even as I watched another body was added beside Shiriko's. Her boyfriend. I turned away and continued on my intened path. Not long ago I had eaten lunch with those two and a few of their friends, answering their questions, giving them advice...

Forcing myself back to the present I knocked on the door and entered, the sense of deja vu almost overwhelming. Others Captains looked up, nodded and they went back to whatever it was they were discussing. I quietly moved across the room and sat beside Yumichika, who watched Ikkaku with soft eyes. Looking at the gathered people, most of whom were discussing something as they peered over papers and maps, I realized that they were all the most important people from each division. Ikkaku was calmly telling Hisagi and Kira about one thing or another, it was interesting to see how much respect the two held for him.

"We can't get ahold of Zaraki Tachou." Yumichika's voice was low, intended only for myself. Ignoring the worry that accompanied those words, I looked at my friend expecting him to continue.

Yumichika sighed, "How unbeautiful you are- In anycase the chance of receiving help from the outside is slim."

"What are they discussing?"

"Ways of keeping the casualties down and limited to us shinigami."

"It would be a disaster if the Zanpaktos made it into the Soul Society." I assumed. Yumichika nodded, his eyes going back to Ikkaku who was now speaking with Ukitake Taichou.

"You ought the tell him." I murmured,"Knowing how he is, he could die before you ever get the chance." For a moment Yumichika looked startled, and wide violet eyes regarded me for a moment before they narrowed, "It will be very messy if you say anything." I shrugged, "Do what you want with your love affairs, it doesn't concern me." Again Yumichika was startled before a slow small smile brightened his face.

"I know you are interested."

Biting back a snort I tuned into what the others were saying. Afterall, I was just as responsible for this as they were.


	26. I Dont Chapter 26

I would like to say that all the reviews I have gotten for this story far exceed my expectations, and I am very glad that so many of you are continuing to read despite some of the larger gaps between chapters.

Anyhow I don't own Bleach or any of the characters therein except for my OCs.

To my readers: If any of you who enjoy my story are Beta Readers I'd like to know, cause I'm searching for a Beta reader in order to help me out with developing Ami and what's going within the story. So if anyone would like to be my Beta Reader message me. Thank you for reading and I hope that you continue to stay with the story.

-SighingWinter

**This is for Safuuru, Moonlight's Shadow Warrior, TheBeginingsEnd, ThablueGRRL, and EmeraldMelodyZz. Thank you everyone who has messaged and reviewed. **

* * *

Fire snapped at my ankle, licking it in a desperate cry for something to feed on, in order to further its' short life. Ignoring the biteing heat, I slunk further into the dancing shadows. Images of demons and evil creatures danced along the walls of the burning building. The faint sound of bells jingling gave me just enough warning in order to avoid the flames that roared towards me. The wall collapsed and I barely managed to doge the rainfall of burning ceiling.

"You are so much more fun than some of the other Shinigmai I have killed." A young girl said holding onto a long pink silk ribbon that held two large bells on each end.

"Face me!" I flipped away from two large fists as they attempted to crush my body, "Tch. Speak for yourself Tobiume, this little pipsqueak aint any fun." The huge, ape like zanpakto stood up, fixing the large white cloth that kept his lower half covered from the world.

"Yare yare! I'm you opponent this round!" Ikkaku yelled, slamming down his spear, almost catching his oversized zanpakto in the foot. Hozukimaru grinned and a brutal fight began. Buildings fell before the two fighters and I scowled.

"Ikakku! The idea was to keep them from-WAH!" I stumbbled back as Tobiume blasted more of her ridiculous flames at me, falling into my butt.

"You should pay attention to your opponent." She said, her face flat and unemotional.

I rolled my eyes and stood, dusting myself off, "No thanks. You're not worth it." Needless to say, my goal worked and the young zanpakto frowned and launched herself into the air, "In that case then I refuse to appologize for your death." At the right moment I flash stepped and reappeared behind the girl, my katana at her throat. _Even though they all deny it, they are still similar to their shinigami._ "Where is Kuroryu?"

She was silent, stiff with shock, for a brief moment before she snapped out of it and tried to swing her bells. I pressed my blade into her neck, "I will cut- I dont cares whose zanpakto you are. Now answer the question."

"I dont know. He's rarely ever around us- so disrespectful to Muramasa, the one who saved him from the likes of you!" I stepped back, removing the katana from her neck, and she hurriedly moved out of range, eyes wary as she regarded me. Looking past her to see yet another building fall I sighed and sheathed my katana.

"Enjoy you freedom." I said, before disappearing from Tobiume's sight_. It wont last forever_. Quickly I rushed from roof to roof, easily side stepping various renegade zanpakto and shinigami. They were not my concern. The sudden rise of a familiar reiastu stopped me in my tracks. "Kenpachi..." I breathed in shock, looking towards the direction of his reiastu. Automatically I stepped towards that direction only to stop as another reiastu flared.

_"You should have chosen me."_

_His voice was soft, gentle, and caring, just like his embrace. He slowly pulled away, and I stumbled until my back hit the white wall behind me. My legs could hold me up and I slid limply to the ground, as I looked at the wound that was right above my right hip and a little to the left. Instinctively I attempted to cover it up, stem the bleeding, as my eyes searched out and found the gazed of Kuro._

_"You shoud have chosen me."_

_"I was first!" His voice growled, low and dangerous and then he laughed lowly, "And now I will be the last person you ever see. First and last and there's nothing that man can do..." His lips were against mine again and then he was walking away._

_"You should have chosen me! I was first!"_

Recalling those words that had been burned into my memory, like an brand burns into flesh. I stepped away from Zaraki's reiastu and stepped towards the other reiastu. It disappeared as I exited the Seirretti and ran through the streets of Roukongai. Skidding to a halt I looked around, furiously trying to catch a glimpse of the red cloth thta wsa as familiar to me as my own hand. There! I rushed down an alley, chaseing after the shadows of red that had haunted me for the past week and a half.

A sharp left, then right. A few yards straight, followed by yet another sharp turn. Abruptly the alley ended and I stubbled into a crowded street. Swearing I looked around wildly. Nothing. More elegant words swept past my lips, swearing the air with their frustration. a scream pierced through the thick air and I rushed towards the sound. A young woman laid on the dirt ground, blood swelling into a pool around her body. A dagger, attached to a chain lingered at the bottom of her stomach. Just seeing the wound from afar I knew I couldn't save her.

The dagger was pulled away in a flash of silver, and my eyes were too slow to follow the blur. Knealing beside the woman's body I winced at the horrible wound. Fury cooled my blood and I stood, as an elder woman rushed forwards, screaming in agony at her loss. Tuneing out her keening I concentrated on that place within, searching for the remnants of Kuro's reiastu. I grabbed the white cloth that appeared before my eyes, and followed the path that it directed.

The wind wistled in my ears, tearing apart my braid and then through my loose strands of hair. Ignoring the tug of the wind as it tried to coax me away from my goal, I sped on the fury thrumming through my veins becomming so cold that I burned. Clenching trembbling fists I pushed myself faster and faster, only to come to a halt as the ribbon led me into an ancient temple, run down from age and raids. Red paint peeling from burnished wood, and decorations hung loose and forgotten.

Stepping through the doors I waited, there at the entrance. Unmoving and silent. Sure enough, a man far too beautiful to be human walked almost silently into sight. "Ami." Silken strands of ebony fell over a shoulder as he inclined his head in my direction.

"Kuro."

"I've been waiting."

"Not for long."

His lips twitched in a smirk before returning to a neautral expression. "My, how you've changed. It's barely been two weeks and already your different."

"You left me."

"You left first, " His reply was quick, as though he knew every statement I was going to make. And perhapse he did, I was certain I hadn't been the only one who'd gone through possible variations of our meeting in my head. He thought himself prepared, i did too. _Well, we'll be seeing the truth of that though soon. _

_"_You're wrong, Kuro. I never left." Blood eyes glared at me bringing to mind the phrase, 'if looks could kill'.

"You did. The more time you spent with them the less important I became. And then when that bastard sed-" I lept into the air, swinging my zanpakto down at his head. Kuro barely had the time to block with the dagger he gripped in his left hand.

"That would be where you're wrong." I said smoothly, as he pushed me back. Landing silently I regarded the surprised expression turn to suspicion then become hate in a quick sucession.

"I should've killed you when I had the chance!" He yelled, throwing the sythe end at me. Three steps back and I was out of range. The scythe disappeared and Kuroryu appeared behind me, swinging his katana at my back. I blocked, grimacing as my feet slid on the polished floors. Unable to grip the ground I was shoved backwards into the air. The next thing I knew, Kuro was in front of me and lashed out with a strong kick. A cry of pain slipped from my mouth as I was sent hurtleing towards the floor. The floor broke and I felt through, into the darkness of the basement. Knowing Kuro would follow after, I rolled out from the debri and hid in the darkness behind a crate, conveiniantly close by.A quick mental check of my inguries made me wince, at least two broken ribs, but neither had pierced the lung.

"Come out, come out." A mocking voice murmured, followed by the dim sound of footsteps comming down the stairs. I held my breath on instinct, waiting as Kuro began to knock over things. Flashes of red swirlled through the room, telling me he was useing his own power to decimate everything that lived or hid in the shadowed underbelly on the temple.

"You cant hide forever."

Abruptly I stood and shouted out a kido, and as Kuroryu turned around a red pulseing ball of power hit him in his chest. He flew into the opposite wall and before he could recover i shouted out yet another kido, binding him to the wall with 5 large, yellow-white bars of power. Burning eyes locked onto mine as I slowly moved foreward. _Please hold on long enough. Please hold on._ I mentally chanted.

"I never left you Kuro."

His face contorted into a silent snarl, but not even that face looked terrible on him. "This isn't you Kuro- no matter what you or any of the other zanpakto say, this isn't you. Muramasa is useing your abilities to further his own ends, not to help you."

He didn't appear to be listening to me, as he continued to struggle out of the bindings that had him pinned down, and in his eyes- at the mercy of my blade. "I know right now you dont care what it is I have to say, but I'm telling you right now, I will not kill you."

That stopped his struggle. Red eyes looked up at me in shock before swiftly narrowing once more to hide whatever emotion he desired to keep hidden.

"You're my zanpakto, someone who understands me- or is supposed to understand me- better than anyone else. I shouldn't have to explain my actions to you. We used to- no- we are friends, Kuro. You are my teacher, my friend, and my protecter. I would have givven anything up to have you like this, " I stepped closer, gently reaching to touch his face, "To have you standing solid and in the flesh, all those years ago- I would've givven anything for that."

"And now?"

"I don't." I said, stepping away from him, slowly drawing my katana once more. Kuro's eyes locked onto mine and then the binds broke and he rushed towards me, every muscle in his body intent on death. I watched, my katana bared in the starting position of a kendo match.

Blood splattered onto the floor.


	27. Death Chapter 27

I would like to say that all the reviews I have gotten for this story far exceed my expectations, and I am very glad that so many of you are continuing to read despite some of the larger gaps between chapters.

Anyhow I don't own Bleach or any of the characters therein except for my OCs.

To my readers: If any of you who enjoy my story are Beta Readers I'd like to know, cause I'm searching for a Beta reader in order to help me out with developing Ami and what's going within the story. So if anyone would like to be my Beta Reader message me. Thank you for reading and I hope that you continue to stay with the story.

-SighingWinter

* * *

Blood splattered along the floor

Kuro was pressed against me, barely breathing.

"What?"

A smile spread across my face, slow and soft. A smile of comfort.

"What have you done?" He rasped

"Nothing Kuro, I've done nothing." I murmured, my face pressed against his shoulder. Wrapping my arms around him I gently held him in my arms. Tears dripped onto my neck and slid slowly down, until they were absorbed by my uniform. They were cold. Tears of bitterness and regret.

"I hate you."

My eyes slipped close, the smile still smooth on my face.

"I know."

Strong arms wrapped around my waist and together we stood there, just like that, holding onto each other. I don't know how long it lasted- it could have been a minute.

An hour

A day

All eternity

"Hey Kuro…looks like you really are going to be the last…" I murmured lowly, and then the darkness swarmed my vision. A warm embrace.

My last memory.


	28. Tadaima Chapter 28

I would like to say that all the reviews I have gotten for this story far exceed my expectations, and I am very glad that so many of you are continuing to read despite some of the larger gaps between chapters.

Anyhow I don't own Bleach or any of the characters therein except for my OCs.

To my readers: If any of you who enjoy my story are Beta Readers I'd like to know, cause I'm searching for a Beta reader in order to help me out with developing Ami and what's going within the story. So if anyone would like to be my Beta Reader message me. Thank you for reading and I hope that you continue to stay with the story.

-SighingWinter

**p.s this update is soo soon because I have been threatened by scary bunnies. Lol. For thablueGRRL. **

* * *

I was floating- at first I thought I was in space. It was so dark I could barely see, but slowly I slid my eyes open to see that it was water. I gasped at the beautiful blue that swirlled around my body. This was so nice, peaceful. Where was this? Where was I? Closing my eyes I tried to search for a familiar reaitsu, Ikakku or Yumichika..somebody. Nothing. Silently I called for Kuro but there was no reply that came. It was then that I began to hear voices. Familiar ones.

"Keep her stabilized! I want full observation and her stats now."

Unohanna Taichou...

"Bastard! I'm going to kill you!" "Ikakku!"

Ikakku...Yumichika...

"Ami-nee isn't dead. Wakey Wakey Ami-nee!"

Yachirru...

For a long while there was silence and I was just floating. Then I heard Kuro. His voice was rugged and filled with pain.

"I had no intention of killing her. I just charged, because I knew she would defend herself. But she didn't... At the last moment she turned her katana and let me ..." Some part of my mind registered the horror in his voice. "I don't know how but the voice inside of my head just stopped and I couldn't remember anything. When Ami fell against me, my katana in her stomach and hers on the ground. I- I remembered and brought her here because I knew you could save her."

There was another long period of time.

It seemed to go on forever.

It seemed to pass in a moment.

He came and berated me, telling me how stupid I was for letting my opponent stab me. That I was weak for taking the quick way out of a fight. I wanted to tell him that he would've done the same thing had it been Yachiru attacking him. He continued on, telling me that I was weak and stupid for letting a single injury get the better of me. Not once did he call my name or even use onna or healer girl; he just rumbled on about my stupidity and weakness for awhile before abruptly leaving. I had various visitors come and talk to me, mostly Yumichika and Ikakku or their zanpakuto. Not once did Kuroryu leave. At least not that I could tell, while I heard his voice almost constantly, there were points where there was silence. For the others I could have been a day, and for me mere moments.

Then something began to change, the water the surrounded me darkened. I was frightened, knowing instinctively that that wasn't good. The voices were more frequent and panicked, louder. The water darkened even further and thats when I began to swim, trying to get away from the darkness that was sure to the get me. It seemed that no matter how hard I tried, how long I struggled, the darkness never stopped, never got further. Finally I stopped attempting to think of a way that could bring back the lovely blue water. There had to be something that I could do.

"Don't give up. Never give up." That voice. Who? Why did that voice sound so familiar? Rough but warm, filled with a hidden kindness. Don't give up. My eyes snapped open and I knew I had to find a way out of this- whatever this mess was. Focusing on the reaitsu I had left, I shoved away the darkness as I surrounded me. The deep blue that surrounded my body lessened as more and more of my reaitsu way drained away by this strange, frightening darkness. drawing it closer to my body I fought against the darkness. In the back of my mind I realized that the voices could barely be heard, they were dimming. Fear well in me, I did not want to be alone. Not now. Not ever. Fighting back against the darkness with a new sense of determination I tried to head toward those far away voices. My only hope from the blackness that was swallowing my world.

Slowly. It was almost painful how slow, the voices grew louder. Closer. I had to keep going. I could barely breath, and the only thing going through my mind at that point was the same repeating chant, _keep talking, please just keep talking. I comming. Keep talking. _

With my last bit of reaitsu I pushed up and was engulfed in white.

* * *

The world was blurry. Why is the world blurred? I wondered absently, before realizing that it was me. I blinked, once, twice and slowly the world came into focus. _Where am I?_ Suddenly a face came into my vision, handsome with long dark hair and beautful ruby eyes.I knew that face, those eyes. I knew them. I think I managed to smile.

"Welcome back."

"Tadaima...Kuro" I whispered tiredly.


	29. Sold Chapter 29

I would like to say that all the reviews I have gotten for this story far exceed my expectations, and I am very glad that so many of you are continuing to read despite some of the larger gaps between chapters.

Anyhow I don't own Bleach or any of the characters therein except for my OCs.

To my readers: If any of you who enjoy my story are Beta Readers I'd like to know, cause I'm searching for a Beta reader in order to help me out with developing Ami and what's going within the story. So if anyone would like to be my Beta Reader message me. Thank you for reading and I hope that you continue to stay with the story.

-SighingWinter

Wahoo the longest chapter yet! I hope you enjoy!

* * *

"Tadaima, Kuro." I whispered, smiling.

Gently he reached out and helped me sit up- well more like he pulled me up. "I'm glad you're alright. You've been out for quite some time." I frowned, "What do you mean? What happened?" Kuro looked at me in surprise before paleing slightly. "Ami, what do you remeber last?"

I frowned and tried to think back, "I was going somewhere-" I gasped and clutched my head in pain.

"What is it? Are you alright?" Kuro practically yelled, jumping out of his seat to hold me.

"I'm fine." I said shaking off the pain which had left as quickly as it had come, "Anyways I found you, we fought, and I let you stab me." He winced at my bluntness, pulling away from me, as though I had burned him. Emotions swarmed his gaze in an impossible swirl of sorrow, pain, anger, and reliefe. I looked away from him, unable to bear the emotional turmoil I could feel comming from him, and faced the window. The late spring day was warm almost summer-like. The bright sun flared down on the world below, brightening the remaining plum blossoms before a decent breeze brushed through the trees, combing away the flowers. Untangled, they drifted to the ground in a slow dance, joining their brethren who already rested on the grass below. For a brief moment I was sad that I hadn't been able to see them in the height of their beauty, I glanced at Kuro and smiled to myself, but it was worth it. Turning back towards my zanpakuto I reached over and held his hand. Red eyes peered at me with hope and shock.

"I made a choice Kuro. It wasn't your fault." He regarded me in silent surprise before he slowly nodded. I smiled openly and then tossed back the white covers, fully intending to stand and walk straight out of the room. Fate apparently had other ideas, because at that moment Unohana-taichou walked in. She stopped short on seeing me awake and about to put my feet on the floor, before smiling and walking in fully, followed by Kotetsu-fukutaichou.

"Where do you think you're going?" Looking up to see my taichou I nodded my head in respect before informing her that I intended on getting out of bed and be useful. "You have been in a coma for two weeks, obtained a fever that nearly killed you, and you're going to do what?" she asked, her voice still incredibly kind and understanding. Around her, I swear I thought I saw an aura of darkness the twisted around her figure.

"Lay in bed and rest." I said, grinning nervously.

"I thought that might be the case." She said, the smile never leaving her face.

I obediently maneuvered back in the correct resting position and Kuro gently pulled the white covers over me once more. I scowled at him, seeing how hard he was trying not to snicker. When he pulled away, Unohana-taichou began to examine me, checking pulse, asking me questions about how long I had been up, and so forth. Kuro left only when she had to change my bandages, and as soon as she was done and I had my sleeping kimono back on he was there, hovering in the corner of the room. Barely half an hour passed before my taichou had finished her examination. "Please rest. No fooling around." She said smiling before quitting the room.

"She's quite the Taichou, to be able to make you so obedient." Kuro said, smirking as he returned to his beside chair.

"Urasai, Kuro."

* * *

I was let out of Fourth Divison a week later, with extremely strict instructions to not fool around or to fight for the next four or five days. Kuroryu walked beside me, as I headed towards Eleventh Division. I knew that when I got there that there would be faces missing from the crowd of men who ate, slept, and fought together- and though I tired to mentally prepare myself durring the times I had to rest on the way there, I was still surprised when I walked through the doors to the divison's barracks and saw just how many we had lost. Everyone still alive was there, standing in straight lines to greet me. A loud chorus of "WELCOME BACK!" filled my ears.

Looking around at all the faces, I spotted those missing and tears burned my eyes. "Arigato minna." I said, givving them my best, if a little watery, smile. "I'm home."

The rest of that afternoon passed in a blurr, there was a huge party for my return and the end of Muramasa. Matsumoto-fukutaichou, Hisagi, Kira, Iba-san, Kyoraku-taichou, Ukitake-taichou, and many others came, some for the sake, and some for the first chance of relaxation in weeks. Tens of men from Eleventh Divison stopped by my seat, where I was comfortably situated between Ikakku and Yumichika, to say a few things and ask how I was doing. To each I smiled warmly and replied with a smile, trying not to show how touched I was at their concern-even when the repeated questions began to get a bit tireing.

Per-normal Ikakku, Iba, and Matsumoto were the first to be completely bashed, although I have always suspected that Ikakku never get so bashed he wouldn't be able to fight if the need introduced itself. Hisagi, Kira, and Kyoraku-taichou were close seconds to the afore mentioned group. I sighed indulgently, watching as the proceedings got wilder and wilder. Soon everyone excepting myself, Zaraki, and Ukitake were completely drunk and yelling around the open area in laughter and conversation.

Slipping out from between my two friends, who I was now absolutely sure were in love with one another, I walked past their zanpakutos, who were gathered in a circle having a drinking contest. Kuro and Senbonzaukra had already fainted and had been stripped of everything they'd been wearing. Suppressing a chuckle at their child-like antics I moved around the open space, until I stopped in front of Zaraki. He'd managed to find the only place that was somewhat removed from the party, under a tree. His hair was loose from those painful looking points, but still slightly back, a wildwindswept mane. A single amber eye looked up and I vaugely realized that he too was somewhat drunk. _I guess that makes me and Ukitake_- **CRASH**- _okay just me_, who's sober here.

Without requesting permission I sat beside my other taichou, letting a comfortable silence fill the space between us. Idly I wondered where Yachiru was, but then recalled her poping briefly by to say hi and tell me that she was going to stay at the Kuchiki manor for a special misson- something about hidden tunnels?

"Oi, onna. Why aren't you drinking?"

"I don't really feel like it, besides I don't think that-" So suddenly that I had no time to react, Kenpachi's lips were against my own capturing my mouth and keeping it opened as liquid slid into my mouth and down my throat in a trail that slightly burned allong the way. I could feel the effects go immediately to my head as he pulled away to take a sip of sake from the ceramic bottle. I gaped at the man who smirked as he drank, before stopping to look at me with such intensity I hadn't seen outside of battles or when we were doing xxx. The thought made my face flush brightly which did not help my situation in the least. His smirk became more pronounced before it quickly slid away to return his serious expression.

"This party is partly for you. You should drink."

"but I can't hold liquor though.." I said, blinking at him. His facial expressions were changing too fast.

"Then I guess you'll have to learn how to." I should have seen it comming, having been his victim once already but I didn't, until he leaned down once more and took over my lips. The taste of sake stained my mouth as Kenpachi claimed it for his own, using his skilled tounge to work wonders. I moaned and threaded my hands through his hair, and he responded by grabbing my waist and sliding me over to straddle him, as he leaned back against the tree.

I pulled away first, red and panting softly for breath, "Kenpachi...I'm not supposed to.."

"I know," He rumbbled, scowling a bit, "that woman told me- no fights or anything else." Even though he scowled, I noticed that he didn't remove his hands from my waist, where they had settled in comfort. His long fingers stroked my side, in a smooth movement that both soothed my body and raised goosebumps along the flesh hidden underneath.

"Well, you gunna drink?" he demanded, a sly look in his eye, after having fed me sake with his mouth a few more times. What I said next was the alcohol talking- it was not, I repeat WAS NOT, the product of my body needing him, of the painful feeling when he didn't visit after I woke, it wasn't the fact that I had missed him terribly. It was just the alcohol.

"Only if you give it to me." I said smirking at him. Sake dripped from the corner of my mouth and his tounge licked it up.

"Of course." He rumbled lowly,his confident smirk danceing onto his face. Slowly, deliberately he drank from the sake bottle, his one eye watching my expression, before placing the sake to the side and captured my mouth once more. Long after the entire bottle had emptied, I sat there, straddling and kissing Zaraki Kenpachi. After what was to be our last kiss of the evening, I realized he had pressed my upper body against his. I rested my head in the crook of his neck, occasionally nipping the exposed skin. Kenpachi shifted for a brief moment and then adjusted my body, so that I was laying across his lap with my head on his chest.

"Sleep." His chest thrummed against against my ear.

"I dont want to~" I whined, trying to wiggle back into my previous position. He sighed and pressed my head against his chest with one hand while the other kept my waist pinned down.

"Sleep onna." he said, voice rough and commanding this time.

My body relaxed, instinctively obeying the order, "hai..."

It was awhile later as the alcohol in my body slowly lured me to sleep that I thought I felt a large hand gently stroke my hair, combing it back from my face. That's odd, I thought, I could've sworn my hair was braided. Allowing my eyes to open for a short moment I saw Kenpachi looking up through the tree branches at the moon. Smiling as the stroking never stopped I fell asleep, wishing I was sober so I could be sure to remember this forever.

* * *

White light filled my eyes and I groaned, trying to block it out along with the pounding headache that accompanied the light.

"Oi, Ami."

"Turn off the light." I groaned rolling over towards the dark, but the dark dissipated.

"Get up. We've got to work."

"Not now Tanaka." I groaned, flapping a hand in his general direction.

"Drink this." A warm smell filled my nose, gradually easing the throbbing in my head. Blearily I sat up and took the cup, taking a shallow drink. The throbbing ceased almost immediately as the hot drink slid down her throat.

"Better?" I opened my eyes and smiled appreciatively at my fellow healer.

"Thank you Tanaka."

The man smiled and nodded before going back to intense work mode, "You need to get up. The others will be getting up soon and you know how things will go with that."

The bad morning only got worse at it went on, flowing from morning to afternoon with such agonizing slowness that all I wanted to do by dinner was sit in the corner and bang my head against a wall. _Kami-tachi have mercy on my poor soul!_ We treated more hangovers and drinking related sicknesses than injuries- a first, which I found was the norm amongst most of the barracks excepting first, second, and fourth division. And so time passed. It was about two weeks into the hunt for Sword Fiends when we began to sense it. Our zanpakutos were slowly loosing their reaitsu and with that, their physical form.

The day Kuro faded away forever, Tanaka and I were talking about treatments for specific wounds. A loud crash filled the room and we both turned. Namida, Tanaka's zanpakuto was barely visable, her once solid body completely see through. The crash we'd heard had been a small ceramic jar of salve, that fell through her hands. Tanaka and I watched in shock as she slowly faded into white blue sparks that skid over his katana before disappearing. At the same time my choker began to vibrate and softly glow, as though it was calling for something. Sure enough small crystalline lights came through the window and flew towards the chain around my neck, before disappearing as they came into contact with the cool metal that rested against my skin. As I realized what had happened a wave of warmth and nostalgia filled me. Closing my eyes I search my inner world and smiled seeing Kuroryu making his way across the rippling plains towards his empty palace.

Tanaka was looking at me strangely when I opened my eyes second later.

"You're zanpakuto, is it that?" he pointed to the choker.

I laughed, and he frowned at my reaction. "Sorry, I dont meant to laugh." I eventually managed to control and stifle my giggles, "My katana is in my room. I don't really carry it around much. Kuro was jut tellin me he's back." Dark eyes looked at me for long moments judging my response, before they softened a he smiled, "I see. You have an amazing relationship with your zanpakuto." The strange and very personal question made me stiffen for a moment before relaxing.

"We've been through a lot."

He didn't bring up anything so personal, like my zanpakuto, again, but I couldn't seem to get it out of my mind a rising suspicion about Tanaka. Shaking my head, I went about my business as he left to go train.

"Why didn't you tell him the truth?" a feminine came from behind. I yelled in shock and whirled around ready to throw a very expensive jar of medicine at the intruder. Upon seeing who I was I sighed, "You really shouldn't startle people like that Yumichika." The amused look on his face told me he had intended on doing that, but it was quickly replaced by a serious expression.

"Well Ami-san?"

"I don't... Trust him." I murmured, moving to put back the jar in it's proper place.

"Hmmm. How ugly of you Ami-san to not trust someone who works so closely with you. Is it the same way with myself?" his voice leaked mild hostility, but I ignored it in favor of replying.

"Tanaka-san had barely been a member of Fourth Squad for more than a few weeks when we were told to come here. I barely knew him. I dont doubt that he's a good healer but..." I hesitated for a moment, "but I saw something that night I fought Kuro."

That got Yumichika's attention and he looked very serious and somewhat scary. "Hold on." he said, stepping out of the room. I sighed, I just had to open my mouth. I had jut finished cleaning the room and had stepped out of it when Yumichika came into view discussing something with Ikakku. The two saw me and indicated for me to come with them. _Please don't make a big deal out of this.._ I followed them, taking my normal place between them as they conversed like normal. They took one turn then another until we were walking down a hall I recognized._ I am not going to tell Kenpachi about this!_ I mentally balked. However my worries were unfounded as we walked by the Captain's room and a little further down until I entered the familiar room that the two men shared.

Ikakku pulled out a sake gourd as Yumichika slid the door close. "I thought Ikakku might want to know, as well as me. Afterall, three pairs of eyes are better than one, yes?"

I looked at my two friends and nodded before I continued where I had left off.

_The night was cool and I ran towards Kuro's raised reaitsu, determined that this time I would break him out of Muramasa's hold no matter what. Even if it meant death. I flash stepped and stopped underneath a tree, intending to pause for just a moment in order to get my bearings. Suddenly Tanaka was there with a woman dressed in pale blue with grey hair beside him. "Master, this may not be a wise choice." her voice was flat and emotionless. _

_"Don't tell me what is wise and what's not Namida." he said curtly. _

_"Of course. Forgive me." she bowed and the two stood there waiting, apparently unable to sense or even see me. An all too familiar reaistu filled the air for a moment announcing the presence of Captain Daiiru, followed by a zanpakuto cloaked in black. _

_"You came." _

_"Of course." Tanaka's reply was short, as though he was saying, that his being here was obvious. A frown sketched acrossed my face, how did they know each other?_

_"Do you have my information?" Tanaka nodded and pulled out a thin green book from the front of his uniform. "Now where's my payment?" he asked. Daiiru leafed through the book smirking in satisfaction before turning and walking off. "Hey!" Tanaka ran after him and grabbed Daiiru by the uniform, "I want my reward." _

_Cold grey eyes looked at the young man with a look that froze my blood. A cool smile waved across his face, "Ah yes, your reward. I had completely forgotten." He and his zapakuto moved so quickly I barely had time to register that they had moved before both Tanaka and his zanpakuto were lying on the ground wounded. As one, Daiiru and his zanpakuto said, "You will forget this and continue your mission." _

_Then they were gone. I looked back towards the two fallen and sent a hell butterfly towards Fourth Divison, requesting a healer to aissit Tanaka and his zanpakuto. Before I realized what I was doing I began to run after Daiiru. Again the familiar reaitsu flared and I skidded to a halt. Kuro... Daiiru. I growled in frustration before taking a deep breath and heading towards my original destination. This time, Kuroryu was more important. Once I had him back at my side, we could deal with this together._

"So I cotinued on my original path. There wasn't anything more I could do- at least not on my own." I summed up. Ikkaku and Yumichika looked pensive as they digested the new information. Ikakku was the first to get irritated and took a giant slug from the gourd, rubbing away the drips of sake with his sleeve.

"Tch."

Yumichika sighed, "How is it you manage to get yourself into such strange and unbeautiful situations like that?"

"That had better be a rhetorical question." I muttered, frowning at him. Ikakku and Yumichika rolled their eyes, thinking I was like one of those kittens who really didn't have much of a bite. I twitched, since I had been here I had grown stronger than I had ever thought possible. When Kuro had been snapped out of Murmasa's control I had the chance to learn and develops even more. I knew I was weaker then them, but I had grown!

Trying to get away from my mental complaining I asked, "what do we do?"

"Wait. As much as I hate it. If we've got another Aizen scheme it's bound to show up." Ikakku said drinking once more.

"Indeed. He'll show his true colors eventually. We will have to just wait and prepare ourselves." Yumichika said easily, as he laid down, using one hand to support his head. I was about to argue when a hell butterfly flew through the barely open window and landed on my shoulder. I frowned in curiosity at it's message.

"What is it?"

"The soutaichou wants me to come to the Captain's meeting." The duo blinked in surprise. "Well; I guess we will have to talk more later." I said, standing up, "Bye." Flash stepping out of the room and pauseing in mine to release my sealed zanpakuto and put on a false choker, I quickly rushed to get to the meeting hall located in First Divison. A the while I wondered what it was that the soutaichou wanted me for, surely I wasn't need for anything serious when he had all the Taichous and Fukutaichous gathered. I slowed to a walk as the meeting room came into sight. The two guards looked at me funny before allowing me in after I provided proof for my reason, in other words the hell butterfly with it's orders. I stepped in and knelt, feeling the heavy gazes of everyone gather in the hall.

"Stand, tenth seat Ami of Fourth Divison." The old commanding voice of the soutaichou said. I did as he commanded and discreetly looked around, and almost blinked in surprise to find that Daiiru wasn't attending. I wondered the reason but turned my concentration back towards the soutaichou when he began to speak.

"There have been disturbing reports of strange deaths in various places in Roukongai. Come nightfall..." he continued on and I diligently paid attention even as he began to drone on about our duty to proect those of the Soul Society. "There for you are to go in and gather as much information as possible, in such a way that will not lead suspicions to come in our direction."

I must have looked confused, because Ukitake-Taichou explained, "There is evidence that the kill is a highly trained shinigami., but no one outside this room knows it."

"So you have to collect evidence and protect possible targets while making sure that no suspicion falls on the Serreiti." Hitsugaya said, teal eyes boring into me.

I nodded my head in understanding and waited. "Very well, Yoruichi-san, take her."

A woman with dark skin, purple hair, and golden cat-like eyes walked out from the shadows and grinned at me.

"Yo."

"Konnichiwa." I replied bowing.

Her grin grew and briskly she walked out of the meeting room, without once glancing back or even bowing in respect towards the others. I bowed and jogged after the strange woman who had been banished years ago. It wasn't until we had both changed into casual yukatas and were walking around Roukongai that I dared to ask the question.

"Ano. Where are we going Yoruichi-san?"

she looked over her shoulder at me, blinking in surprise. "You mean they didn't tell you?" My blank face must have been a giveaway. She grinned in just a mischievious manner that I inwardky shuddered. "We're head to the Red Light district."

"What?" I stopped in surprise.

Yoruichi-san stopped and looked at me, before putting her hands on her hips and releaseing a big sigh. "Yare, yare, They really didn't tell you much did they?" Meeting my gaze her eyes sparkled with amusement as she went on, "I'm going to sell you."

_Sell me? I'm going to the Red Light district to be SOLD? Which means...brothel...I'm going to be a WHAT?_

"Come one then, " A hand clamped down onto my wrist and pulled my body forward,"we can't waste time." Her voice was singsongy as she skipped onwards.

_HELP MEEEEE!_


	30. Mine Chapter 30

hello my dear beloved readers! I felt the need for some Kenpachi time so here it is!

**Note: this chapter takes place durring chapters 28 and 29! **

**Note 2: this is in Zaraki's point of view! **

Thanks for reading, and reviewing- please keep it up!

-SighingWinter

I do not own any Bleach characters or plot lines- just my OCs and twisted plotlines.

Thank you to my Beta- Moonlight's Shadow Warrior

* * *

It was midnight, the sky dark overhead thanks to the black clouds that's seemed to cover the whole of the Soul Society. The dinner hall was quiet, Ikkaku and Yumichika being the only ones here besides the sleeping Yachiru. Almost as though she knew she had crossed my mind the child curled up tighter in my lap murmuring something about Kenny-candy. For a moment I glanced down to check if she was well before downing a cup of sake.

"What do yah want Ikakku?" I rumbled lowly, irate at the third seat who had gotten back from Fourth Division mineuts ago.

"She's in a coma, Taichou." Yumichika's feminine voice answered.

"Her zanpakuto nearly killed her." The third seat added, as though it were important

"Tch. Serves her right for bein too weak to deal with her own katana." I replied downing another cup.

Reminiscing back to a few hours ago I recalled feeling that woman's reaitsu heading south. Then suddenly disapearing. The coldness that had pierced my chest had caught me off guard and had resulted in one of my bells being cut off. Scowling I tossed away the cup and began to drink from the sake bottle. We aren't anything other than sex partners. There is nothing else going on between us. I thought, slurping up the liquid from the bottle. The woman was nohinv more than a release. I barely noticed the third and fifth seat leaving, so wound up in thoughts as I was. I growled in frustration, I was a man of action. I lived, breath, fought, and died by the sword that rested beside me. There was no room for anyone else, Yachiru being the exception. How was it that I the strongest man in the Seireiti- the man who bore the name Kenpachi- was thinking about a woman who meant nothing? Another growl, more animalistic than the last, escaped me. Finishing the bottle I held Yachiru and laid her down in her room, before heading towards the one place that irritated me the most. Finding her room wasn't easy, twists and turns and wrong directions aside- it took longer than I thought. The door was partially open and I opened my mouth to let out my irritation only to find the figure that lay on the bed a mere imitation of the woman I remembered. She was pale and weak looking, more so than when I had first seen her nearly two years ago. The smell of blood permeated my senses, and I gripped my sword in a vice-like grip in an attempt to squelch the memories.

"What the hell. How could you be so weak- tch- letting your own zanpakuto stab you you. Baka. Taking the easy way out won't do anyhthing for yah. Bein weak an stupid like that will only make it all worse." I berated her for an hour, until I finally exhausted most of my irritation. When she woke I'd show her the rest, force her to fight. At that thought the beginnings of a grin appeared, and I glanced over a should to look at the being who'd been huddled in the corner oozing hosility since I entered the room.

"You wanna fight me, sword?" The zanpakuto stood and moved into the dim light. What caught my notice was his eyes. Red. They were the color of blood- no even darker.

"Not here." his response was curt and cold. I blinked and found him barring his fangs in front of me, standing between me and my woman. He's fast. A challenge and I smirked, egging him on. If he snapped then what happened afterwords wouldn't be my fault- rather I wouldnt get blamed for the start of the fight. Unfortunately the blade had great restraint and he quickly composed himself.

"Please leave."

"Huh?" I growled, no one gave me orders. NO ONE.

"Leave. I want Ami to recover without trauma or problems." I growled, feeling something swirling in my chest that demanded that I tear this guy to shreds for even speaking her name; when he was the one who'd put her in this position. For the first time in a long while I disobeyed my instincts and left the room. Soon I would teach that weapon his place. The thought brought pleasure to the strange swirling in my chest and I walked back towards the Divison barracks grinning. Two days later, she had a high fever and nearly died within the first few hours- of course none of that reached me until after it had happened. Ikkaku and Yumichika had gone missing and the entire barracks seemed depressed and tense. Those next few days the fights sucked and nobody drank. Too busy attending to the dead or injured. It was strange how Tanaka hadn't seemed to be injured much durring the rebellion, except for a sling long scratch that would've made any of my men only wince. It had him in bed for two days.

I, Yachiru, and about twenty or so others were eating lunch when Ikkaku and Yumichika returned, pale and drawn. I could have sliced the tension in the hall with a sword.

"Ami... Is alive and stable." Ikkaku announced. Abruptly the tension disappeared and I watched in some amusement as my men cheered. _Man, she really has won them over..._ I didn't get the chance to see her in fourth divison. I didn't have the desire to see her, after all she'd come back. Everyday though Yachiru would run around with some bit of information or another, almost always about the healer. Tch,the kid's too sensitive for her own good.

The day she came back I watched as the men lined up and waited for her return. When she stepped onto my territory followed closely by the stupid sword of her, I watched as the men welcomed her back and as she got all emotional over a simple welcome. She looks good, bit thin and pale but alive, and if you're alive then you're lucky. Once, her grey blue eyes met mine and I nodded before turning away and heading back to my office. The old man soutaichou had started to complain about my paperwork- again.I didn't manage to finish it up until the party had already started.

Heaving a sigh of reliefe I walked out of the stifling barracks and stopped for a moment to watch as the festivities got started. Ikkaku and Yumichika sat on either side of the woman, making her laugh and smile. That strange swirling feeling started up again, but I squwashed it easily this time. Grabbing a few of the larger sake bottles, I walked trough the crowd, ignoring the cries of pain that followed me stepping on a few fingers. Settling down under a large tree,the only one that hadnt been toppled amidst all the fights that took place here daily.

And I watched as things got wild.

Ikkaku getting drunk and calling Mastumoto names, while the well endowed shinigami suffocated Hisagi in a hug. Iba began pretending to be a worm, wiggling along the ground much to the enjoyment of those around him. Yumichika bet his feathers on something and lost them. Kyoraku and Ukitake had their arms around one another singing an old drinking tune with some of his subordinates.

And Ami? What was she doing? I looked around curiously, to find her smiling up at one of the eleventh divison men. He bowed to her and walked away, and for a moment her face opened up to reveal that the man had irritated her. Yumichika gently patted her back before handing her a stick of the sweet dango. Turning my gaze back towards the sky I absently drank, watching as the half moon shone brighter and brighter as it crawled through the sky. Leaning against the tree trunk I paused, the bark was rough. Like me.. Scarred and worn, yet still standing tall with it's roots firmly in the ground. For a moment I let my eyes close, savoring the short moment of relaxation. The sound of footsteps reached my ears and it was thanks to the familiar reaitsu I didn't draw my sword and bash the intruder to the ground. She sat down beside me, looking surprisingly relaxed, if a bit worn.

"Oi onna. Why aren't you drinking?" a part of my mind went immediately back to one of our nights together, when... No. Pay attention.

"I dont really feel like it," at that a plan popped into my head and I drank deeply from the bottle, "besides I don't think that-" before she could finish I slammed my lips on hers, catching them just open enough that as I kissed her the alcohol slid from my mouth to hers. Kami... She tasted of sweetness. Pulling away I sipped from the sake bottle, smirking at her dazed expression. As she gaped at me with her lips parted, I could only smirk more, knowing that Yumichika had just glimpses at what I had done. He sat there starring in blatant shock, while I openly laid claim to what was mine.

"This party is partly for you. You should drink." I said gruffly, trying to push away the desire that was making itself known.

"but I can't hold liquor though.." She said, her face already flushed from the alcohol I'd fed her moments ago.

"Then I guess you'll have to learn how to." I leaned down once more and took over Ami's sweet lips. The taste of sake and sweetness stained my mouth as I began a slow sensual dance between our tounges. She moaned, a sound that would always send thrills down my body. and threaded her hands through my hair. I responded to her gesture by grabbing her tiny waist and tugging her over to straddle me, as I leaned back against the tree.

Ami pulled away first, red and panting softly for breath, "Kenpachi...I'm not supposed to.."

"I know," I murmured, scowling a bit, "that woman told me- no fights or anything else." I recalled that woman's insistence on Ami's condition and while I didn't like the idea of having to wait, I knew now that what she said was true. Ami was thin, underweight, and pale. She needed more time before I could mark her as mine once again. Looking at the woman in my arms I had to smirk.

"Well, you gunna drink?" I demanded, after having fed her sake with my mouth a few more times. Her lips were now deliciously swollen from my kisses; and the familiar desire in her gaze made me want to take her then and there but once more I fought and won against the craveing.

"Only if you give it to me." She said smirking at me in a blatant challenge. I admit to being surprised at her openess but at the same time it was far too effective, especially as sake dripped from the corner of her mouth. That was it, casting aside reason I leaned forward just enough to lick the liquid from her skin and grinned openly as her sigh of pleasure.

"Of course." I growled lowly. Slow and deliberate, I drank from the sake bottle, watching her expression change, before placing the sake to the side and capturing her mouth once more. Long after the entire bottle had emptied, we sat there, kissing. After I pulled away from her lips, she rested her head in the crook of my neck, occasionally nipping the exposed skin and sending warnig signals all over the place, wrecking complete and total havoc on my body. I shifted for a brief moment, trying to distract myself and then adjusted her body, so that she was laying across my lap with her head against my chest; "Sleep." I said, forcibly shoving away the desire by thinking of alternate things, like battles and Kurosaki.

"I dont want to~" She whined, evidently very drunk, trying to wiggle back to her previous spot. A sigh passed through my lips, she just didnt get it; and pressed her head down against my chest with one hand while the other was used to pin her waist down in order to stop that far too tempting wiggling.

"Sleep." I said roughly.

Abruptly her body relaxed and I nearly sighed once more. Glancing down at her I watched as blue eyes fluttered close. Noticing her hair was bound again I frowned and easily undid the braid, letting long liquid silk spill between my fingers, in a caress that touched my entire hand. That was much better, I thought. Out of sheer curiosity I ran my calloused hand through her hair, feeling the smooth waves. I continued to slowly run a hand through her hair. It was strange, I mused looking up at the moon once more, how different things felt durring non active times. During sex, I had noticed she seemed more sure of herself, less fragile, less breakable. Now she was like an older, slightly darker version of Yachiru, someone I ought to care for. Balking at that thought I glanced back down to see the woman asleep, a small smile on her face. _How troublesome._ With a single practiced motion, I stood keeping Ami close with a single arm while I made certain to grab my sword with my free hand. I easily moved through the chaos.

Hisagi and Kira were passed out- presumably strangled by Matsumoto's boobs, while said fukutaichou was now singing with Kyoraku. Ukitake was curled up against a tree with his friend's kimono covering his body.

Ikkaku and Yumichika were nowhere to be seen, Abarai too had disappeared- no there he was, buried under a pile of rocks. His foot twitching every few seconds.

Iba and his Taichou were showing demented looking animals that were on the faces of some kind of real world card game. Other shinigami both, seated and unseated, were laugh, brawling, and in general, having a good ol' time.

Not a single strange or curious look was even set my way, as I walked through the clumps of shinigami with my precious burden. The barracks were silent as I trod through the halls until at last commit to the right door. Sliding it open I was through the room, until I reached the futon that rested against the tatami matted floor. Easily, I placed her on her bed, removing her outer uniform, before pulling the covers over her body. _Tonight we would sleep apart, but soon._

"You will be mine once more." The next day roared to life with a headache, which was eventually beaten off by a few fights and a glass of some bitter crap that Yachiru had gotten from Ami-nee. The soutaichou called for a meeting some time during my fifth fight of the day, so I trashed the guy before the fun even started.

"Damn that old man."

"Neh. Ken-chan, last night I saw Newbie doin something strange."

"Eh?" although unphrased the girl knew what to answer.

"He was acting funny and mumbling something about Ami-nee."

"Oh?" She nodded in affirmation.

"Tell anyone?"

"Iie. Just Ken-chan! Oh! Butterfly!" she giggled happily as a yellow butterfly fluttered past. So Daiiru was up to something, and it had to do with Ami...

Uncareingly I walked into the meeting room and listened with half an ear, knowing at least half if not more was all crap. The old man paused; then began to speak his voice incredibly solem.

"There is a murderer amongst us," the sudden and blunt phrasing caught everyone off guard, "For the past two years there have been a series of murders that beforehand had no connection to the Seiretti, however that had since changed as the latest for these murders reveal traces of a skilled binding hado." The news caused murmurs to fly throughout the room, as Captain and Vice- Captain alike wondered what the world was comming to.

"Sounds interesting. Let's track him down and see if he can put up real fight." I grinned, Yachiru cheered but before we could head out the old man stopped us.

"Iie." I looked at the old man feeling to urge to bring my blade down on that bald head of his, "I have made preparation for this event. A shinigami will be sent into the Roukongai red light district under the guise of a prostitute, to track down this killer, and either capture him or bring enough evidence foreword that he can be adequately located by Second Squad."

"Tch." Bastard takes away the good stuff, I thought irritated by this old man's commands. At that moment Ami stepped through the doors and just by the look on several faces- the soutaichou's pick was not well received. I barely registered what happened next, so shocked and angered was I. Ami accepted the mission without receiving the details and was then taken away by the cat-woman. Ami, my woman, posing as a prostitue. Barring her skin for other men to search and taste, allowing them to touch her in places that were mine? That strange swirling in my chest was almost too much. As the meeting closed I was chosen to be the first Captain from the Seireitti that visited her. With that firmly lodged in my mind I shunpoed back to the barracks. _There was no way I would let anyone take what is mine._


	31. Intro to a new life Chapter 31

Yosh! Konnichiwa minna! I am here to bring you the usual dull disclaimer- that I dont own anything other than my name, blood, sweat, tears, and of course my OCs.

As you are aware I did a little switch up last chapter so I am letting you know that that will happen every now and then, especially as the end of Healer Eleven gets closer. It's not for awhile so you can relax, dont freak out quite yet. This is just a general heads up.

Note: **We are now back in Ami's PoV**

Thanks for reading and reviewing.

-SighingWinter

* * *

I looked at myself in the mirror, barely believing that the woman staring back at me was me. She was too beautiful, like a doll that the children of nobles played with. Her dark brown hair was pulled back into a very traditional hairstyle with blue ribbons framing her face, bangs of silk. Golden hair trinkets clinked softly as the woman elegantly tilted her head to one side, ever so slightly, to gaze at the full effect of her attire. The blue kimono, heavy with embroidered gold cranes and stars, hung snugly against her form, held tightly together by a long obi of a blue just a shade darker than the outer kimono. It was tied in the front, the end of the stiff material ending just below her knees. The tayuu was beautiful, an ethereal image that could be swept away by the slightest touch.

I gazed at myself, part of my mind reeling in amazement and the other part in horror. This reflection was not me, where was the black uniform that fit just well enough to be loose, and worthy of combat, where had the familiar braid gone. I was lost in a sea of blue that brought my eyes to attention, lost in the dazzling hair sticks that dripped with gold. It was impossible to tell myself that this woman staring back at me was- well me.

"You look beautiful, Yoshimizu-sama." The servant who'd transformed me said. Her voice was low and humble, as she bowed to my back.

"Is it not my duty?" The question was phrased in the formal style of speaking, an elegant tongue, used only by the court and nobles. "You have done well. Inform Shihon-san I will accompany her shortly." The woman bowed and silently exited the room, leaving me alone for the first time in weeks.

Training had been long and harsh, I'd had to learn and perfect that which took decades in less than 16 days. Everything had to be relearned, how to speak, how to stand, to walk, even something so small as hand and head movement had to be relearned. A tayuu by the name of Tsukihime had been the instructor, wielding both an iron will and wooden stick. Recalling the bruises that had decorated my hands- Tsukihime's choice spot for whacking someone when they did something wrong- I absently rubbed my hands, feeling their softness. Yesterday had been a day of pride for me, when Tskuhime had pronounced me the quickest learner that she'd ever had and that I was then suitable to carry out the duties of a tayuu. Just as planned, my first request was had come from the Seireiti itself. Of course I accepted, and had even gotten up early this morning to go through all the elaborate preparations that accompanied a tayuu heading out into public.

The house where I lived was silent with anticipation- most of the other orrin(?) had never seen me, and rumors had circulated quickly about my background and arrival. Closing my eyes I took a deep breath, before donning the mask of a tayuu. A small smile with painted lips and eyes cast slightly downwards.

"I am ready."

I walked through the burnished wood halls and paid little attention to the gasps that followed my wake. Murmurs swelled inside the brothel, but never grew louder than a whisper, as though I was something to be awed and admired but never touched, by hands or words.

The early morning sun was quickly blocked out by an umbrella born by one of my personal servants.

Shihon Yoruichi looked at me with a blank face, the face of a noble meant to disguise any form of emotion regardless how great. I bowed and murmured greetings, which she returned in the same manner, if slightly more stiff. I wanted to laugh but kept the urge at bay, by allowing my smile to grow a little more.

"We will journey through Roukongai district with a guard that has been assigned to you by the Head Captain."

"I thank you. The safety of myself and my servants is great appreciated." I said voice barely more than a murmur. With that we began a smooth parade through the streets of Roukongai. Men, women, and children watched in awe as the guards came first followed by myself and Shihon-san, and then the servants who carried my instruments, several different attires, and food for the journey. People talked of Yoshimizu-sama, my name as a Tayuu, the respect in their voices and gazes clear.

"I hope you are not uncomfortable with all of this." Yoruichi-san said, making conversation.

"Not at all. At some point everyone needs some form of entertainment, be it someone new, or something of little significance such as myself." I replied, thinking of the rule that Tsukihime had beaten into me. _We never begin a conversation. Should the silence be uncomfortable ask a question that will boost the confidence of the man who has requested you. If the guest asks for you to sleep with him, you have the right to say no- they are privileged if you have accepted their company. _

"Do I ask too much in knowing whose request I have granted?"

"Kuchiki Byakuya, of the noble house of Kuchiki."

"Ah. I have heard that he is a great warrior." And so the conversation continued, formal and without much personality. It wasn't until abour half way to Seireiti when it occured to me why the servents and Yoruichi-san had offered a panquin ( sp?), the walk was long and slow with all the servants and guards, especially as the morning grew later. That it was a gradual uphill didn't help either, especially when it become less gradual and outright steep. _I'm so soft_, I thought after comming to this realization, _I'm so used to being able to flash step longer distances. _Mentally I sighed in resignation, praying to whatever kamis were listening that this mission ended as quickly as possible.

Upon walking throught the gates of the Seireiti I stopped, gazeing at my home, so close, yet so far. I had left as a shinigami and returned as a stranger. The white with faint signs of green and the brown-yellow roofs looked forebodeing, yet warm at the same time. Understanding my thoughts I had to force down a groan of frustration. Now I was conflicted about my own livving? Great, I needed more confusion in my life.

"Yoshimizu-sama, are you well?" Yoruichi-san's concerned voice jolted me out of my thoughts and I returned to my character, I could worry about my mental health later.

"Forgive me. Indeed I am well. I was taking in the simplicity of the Seireiti. It creates a beauty that is to be marveled."

Yoruichi blinked at me, before grinning. "I will be telling the soutaichou of your complement. I'm sure he'll be very pleased."

I nodded my assent, and we continued to move. The awed respect that my passage recieved in Roukongai was similar here, only where the non-shinigami had been quiet and kept away, the shinigami became roudy and wanted to get close; most likely to the fact that most of the Seireiti was filled with men. Our procession continued, abit slower than before; but we eventually made it to the first meeting room, had I been myself I would've asked what was going on, however since I was supposed to not know where I was or who was assigned where, I said nothing. "You will need to wait here." Yoruichi said leading me to a small side door, "Please take time to prepare yourself." I nodded and walked through the door and onto a surprisingly spacious rooms.

"Thank you, Yoruichi-san." The woman left as the servants filed in, and began opening the clothing chests, gently putting down instruments, and untying my obi. The woman who'd changed me this morning bustled around me, hurriedly fixing up my hair, changing my somewhat dusty outer kimono, replacing it with one that was almost exactly the same except with golden petal rather than stars and cranes. The whirlwind of movement and sound eventually slowed until there was absolute silence as we waited.

And waited. 

_And waited. _

_AND WAITED._

I had just been about to break my composure when a guard stepped through the door, telling me that only I could proceed into the hall. The servants protested but I silently waved them back and sent them a reassuring smile; before heading out of the room and into the meeting hall. As the double doors closed behind me I waged a difficult war against my inner demon, who at that moment wanted to do nothing more than fall to the ground, laughing at the astonished, wide eyed, and drooling (in the case if Kyoraku-taichou) faces that greeted my arrival. All the taichous were there galling at me with such faces. Daring to take just a brief glance at Kenpachi I mentally pouted, his frown made his opinion quite clear. Kurotsuchi taichou was the first to snap out of it, and reached into his robe to pull out a dark grey rectangular device that had a large red button. Without a word, warning, or even hesitation the button was pressed. A blast of electricity ripped through the air and straight through me. Blinking in shock I patted my hair to make sure that he hairsticks were still there. Yup, and I was a hundred percent certain that they were metallic too.

_What just happened?_

"Nothing. Such a useless girl you are."

_What?_

"Gomen Ami-chan, Kurotsuchi-taichou wanted to see if you had some form of tracking device or listening device that he could get a hold of." Ukitake-taichou explained rubbing the back of his head as he smiled at me.

"Ami-chan looks so grown, neh?" Kyoraku-taichou murmured smiling at me as his tugged at his hat.

"Enough. That is not what we are here to discuss." the soutaichou commandeered everyone's attention as he slammed his cane against the ground. I turned my full attention on the soutaichou as he opened aged eyes to stare at me from under grey brows. Was it possible for a man to look both frightening and vulnerable at the same time? I looked away unable to bear the sorrow and the burning flames that danced behind this old eyes.

"There have been two more killings. Both were very similar and I begin to suspect that this man has developed a habit." Kurotsuchi-taichou said rubbing his new copper chin that reminded someone of one of those old human shows where the pirate villain always had this super thinly curled facial hair that was waxed to stay put.

He's wierd...

"Was the murder spotted well enough that it could be determine male?" I asked, my tone disbelieving the theory.

"Nope." I wanted to crash to the ground in frustration but reigned myself in._ Discipline, discipline._ I chanted silently.

"But we were fortunate enough to get/steal the body of one of the victims. Based off of bruising, injuries, and various other principles which your tiny brain couldn't handle... I was able to conclude that the killer is a male, with an annoyingly wide skill set in both kido and physical skills."

"That could mean just about everyone in this room, as well as in the entire Seireiti." Unohanna-taichou pointed out, her smile was normal and oddly, without that dangerous edge it carried when dealing with the mentally unstable Kurotsuchi. Watching as another complex battle of words broke out between the two taichous I absently wondered how long this meeting would take, because I really wanted to sit down.

Eventually it same to a halt when Unohanna-taichou made a some point or another that the Captain of the Seireiti Reasearch Department could not contest, which made him huff an look away, arms crossed like a pouting child. Durring their conpetitive chatting, other captains had also began their own conversations, a few while eyeing my silent form, while most just spoke quietly to their neighbor. Thankfully order was regained through the soutaichou's flaring reiaitsu. He began speaking, going into further detail about the murders and the importance of catching this criminal.

Out of curiosity more than anything else, I urged my reiaitsu outwards trying to get a sense of the captains arond me, all the while paying attention to the soutaiichou's words. None seemed to notice, let alone sense my reiaitsu and I mentally noted to try it out later, maybe durring one of the taichou's 'visits'.

Ukitake taichou felt like water, calm and open. For a brief moment I felt the brush of his zanpakuto, playful and energetic; calling to mind the image of playful children.

Kurotsuchi taichou was sharp, almost painful to the touch and I immediately left him alone.

Kenpachi's reiaitsu was both terrible and reassuring. It called to mind the image of a rabid dog or wolf, that exuded strength, and yet protectiveness over it's kin.

Histugaya-taichou's reaitsu was cold, and biteing. Frozen, yet with a burning flame that would make him very powerful one day.

Hisagi-fukutaichou's was carefully guarded, swirlling bits of darkness and light forever at war with one another.

Kyoraku-taichou had a reiaitsu that was beautiful and yet lonely. It reminded me of a spring where all flowers blossomed and yet there remained none to truely appriciate the beauty of it all.

Konamura-taichou's was a forest, deep greens and filled with light, but there lingered on the surface a scar of hurt and betrayal.

Kuchiki-taichou's was stiff, but filled with a kindess surpressed by the teachings of nobility.

Unohanna taichou's I moved over easily, being extreemly familiar with it. Worry, kindness, and the desire to help those in need- with a layer of steel underneath.

Kira fukutaichou reiaitsu produced a feeling of sorrow, with that same scar that was borne by both Hisagi and Konamura taichou.

Soi Fong taichou's was quiet and still, a wind that could blow a person away if riled up.

I reached out towards Yamamoto's reiaitsu with a bit more caution, not wanting him to feel that I was doing somthing dangerous to him. My reaitsu barely managed to brush against him, before I was nearly overwhelmed by the fire that he radiated. I jerked my reiaitsu away and immediately pulled it back, as brown eyes opened a regarded me once more, as sudden silence descended over the meeting hall. Captains eyes darted forth between me and Yamamoto. I didn't look away brown those brown eyes that made me tremble in sorrow and fear.

He nodded, releasing me from his deep gaze. "There will be a change of plans. Yoshimizu-san, I ask your forgivness in taking such a journey only to be informed that Kuchiki-taichou is currently too busy to attend the promised meeting."

I nodded in acknowledgement, "I have come a long way, certainly. If it ammedable to Kuchiki-sama perhapse I might entertain another? I would very much enjoy the time to use some of my skills today." Looking at the man who had 'requested' my pressence, I waited for a reply.

He merely nodded, and I thanked him formally. The meeting had offically ended and Kyroraku-taichou immediately walked up, exclaiming over the beauty of Yoshimizu-sama and how he and Ukitake-taichou would very much enjoy her- my entertainment.

"It would be my honnor." I looked at those taichous who remained, "All are welcome if they wish to listen to my poor music." and that was how I ened up playing in the Thirteenth Division's garden, with the majority of the taichous and fukutaichous surrounding me, eating and drinking, as they listening to the soft sounds from the koto


	32. Jelousy and Passion Chapter 32

Yosh! Konnichiwa minna! I am here to bring you the usual dull disclaimer- that I dont own anything other than my name, blood, sweat, tears, and of course my OCs.

As you are aware I did a little switch up last chapter so I am letting you know that that will happen every now and then, especially as the end of Healer Eleven gets closer. It's not for awhile so you can relax, dont freak out quite yet. This is just a general heads up.

Thanks for reading and reviewing.

-SighingWinter

**For my very special reviewers, and my special(est) Beta Reader Moonlight's Shadow Warrior**

* * *

I gazed out the windows, eyeing the freedom the gardens offered. I was sorely tempted to slip away from the boisterous party the swirlled around in a wild whirlpool not so far from my safe corner by the windows. There were aother Tayuu here, Tsukihime-sama being one of the dozen, surely I wouldn't be missed. The temptation was almost overwhelming and my feet began to obey- only to stop as an older shinigmai from Nineth Division and the heir apparent to some lesser noble clan or another, grabbed my hand and began professing undying love for Yoshimizu-sama. I wanted to scold the intoxicated man, instead I obeyed training and gently led the man into the swirlling waters of the party, entertaining him with clever words before pointing out to him his fiance, who had been worried looking around for him. Her lovely face contorted in anger upon seeing me leading the drunkard, and I forced back a sigh.

A part of my mind wanted to scowl at the woman, but when I saw the couple reunite in a brief hug the urge disappeared, making way for a longing that was so strong it could have been a physical pain. I bowed politely to the woman, apologized for keeping her husband, a hidden way of letting the woman know that I'd known he was drunk and spoken for, and then thanked her for her attendance before making my way back into the crowed room.

_I need a drink…_

Time pursued itself faster, as I indulged the rare opportunity to drink. I knew better than to drink heavily, the way I had in the few times that I had participated in said activity in Eleventh Division. The sake slipped easily down my throat, leaving a slightly warm trail in its wake. Tsukihime-sama joined me and the two other Tayuu who had been here longer than I, and poured a round of sake for all of us. Having downed four cups already I could feel the effects and excused myself from their light chatter. I forced myself to continue my job, a part of my mind always alert for any mention of the murders. Unfortunately, such a dark subject was not even whispered about in the midst of such a party.

It wasn't until I felt large hands gropping my ass, that I felt the need to leave in the extreme. Luckily the other Tayuu were begining to drfit either closer to a specific person, who had paid for some after party services, or leaving. I joined the later, with a great deal more speed than the other women. I pretended to slip into the Tayuu building and claimed that I could change myself, forcing my servants to leave me alone. For the first time that day I was alone. My addled brain didn't help when it came to the conclusion that tonight was not a night to be alone. A series of flash steps later I found myself throwing the windows of Kenpachi's office open, grinning at the man as I sat on the windowsill..

"Kenpachi. Konbanwa!"

Cool eyes looked gazed up at me in surprise, and I realized I had entered the wrong window.

"Hmm. Sorry bout that!" I grinned down at the man who sat at his desk, his broad back now facing the desk so he could look at me. I giggled at the expression on his face.

"Neh! No need to look so shocked!"

"Oi, what are you doing?"

"Hmm?" I cocked my head to the side, grinning as it thinker against the side of the window, "Let's~ get ~drunk~!"

"How troublesome. What the hell happened at that weak ass merchant's party?"

"Hmmm. Well I got there and had some drinks and entertained for awhile..." Zaraki watched me with a strange look in his eyes, it was the look of a starving man gazing at something long denied to him.

"How much did you drink anyways."

"Huh? Just four cups... But the sake did taste different from the stuff we drink here..." I tried to muddle it out but my brain was to foggy. My insistent grin never left my face, "maybe it was stronger..?" Uncaring of anythingelse I continued to decrisbe that party, though my words slurred a few times. Zaraki had just turned his back to me to continue working when it came out.

"Then I was sexually harassed."

"...Eh?" amber eyes widened, and I leaned forwards trying to make my point.

"I was sex-u-ally har-ass-ed." I repeated emphasizing the syllables that had glided out of my mouth earlier, words that I had originally planned to keep to myself. Kenpachi's eyes were covered for seconds as he blinked up at me, absorbing what I had said. "

By that time though the others were leaving so it wasn't..." I drifted off, really examining Kenpachi's face. It had gone comepletly blank, by his eyes flashing with warring emotions. I wanted to asked him what was wrong and so I tried but I only got as far as, "Ken-" before strong arms grabbed me from my crouch on the windowsill and sat me back down moments later on top of his desk. Loose hair shadowed his face as I tried to look up at my lover, wondering what it was that was wrong with him.. "pachi?" I finished his name, softly.

Abruptly hands slammed onto the desk, on either side of my body, and I stiffened in shock. He looked down at me, an unreadable expression on his face, and golden eyes locked onto my form in an intense scrutiny.

"Are you...jealous?" I murmured, the sentence little more that a breath.

"Jealous or uncomfortable?" He rumbled in reply, leaning forwards so that our faces were barely centimeters apart. Instinct demanded I lean back and I did so, scooting back some more onto the desk while using my hands to support myself as I leaned backwards.

"Well, I was.. Uncomfortable." I admitted, my already flushed face warming even more, for a moment I glanced away from the man who loomed above me, befor looking back at him as my drunken grinned slipped onto my face once more. "But I'm better now that I'm with you."

Even with my reassurance his face remained masked. I wanted to touch his face, to let him know that it was alright, that I was fine, and my hands tiwtched ready to obey the order which was delayed by his lips crashing onto mine. I barely registered surprise before my body was responding to him, as his tounge demanded entrance to my mouth. My hands, gripped the desk's edge as he used his tounge to declare my lips, tounge , and mouth his own. Swift fingers loosened up the top of my kimono enough that they could slip past the fabric and caress my right beast and nipple.

"Nn!" I could barely bite back a moan at the feeling of his calloused hand toying with my body. Gods, it'd been too long since he last touched me. Hot breath coasted down my neck, as he smirked watching my face as he continued. He rasped statement into my ear. His hand stopped moving and I realzed that while he'd been distracting me with one hand, he'd used the other to untie my obi and parted the layers of cloth to revak the rest of my body above the waist. He lowered himself a little and took my breast in his mouth. I groaned slightly, ducking my head only to see golden eyes starring up at me glinting with clear satisfaction. My eyes snapped close and I jerked as teeth lightly scrapped my nipple. Silks and clothes rustled as he parted my kimono completely and slid out of his lips trailed upwards, nipping and sucking a hot trail on either side of my neck.

"Dont leave marks." I panted, half praying that he did. I gasped and groaned, shivvering with need as he bit particularly hard and sucked on the spot where my neck and shoulders joined.

"You're mine onna." He growled, before moving one of my legs over his shoulder and shovving his entire length into me. I cried out and gripped his clothed shoulder before winding the arms around his neck and his barely move at all- shifting a little but never pulling out mre then an inch.

"Nhh." I shivvered and panted gripping him tightly, suddenly he jerked hard and I cried out, arching against him as pleasure seared through my being. I must have let go of him because I fell against the hard desk and moaned lowly as he moved slowly once more, my legs now half on his chest lowered and he pressed down, and began thrusting slow deep, each time his pressed that spot making me moan and wirthe underneath him. He slowed for a moment, and I opened my eyes to find him looking at me in a way I had never known before. His movements slowed further until stopping entirely as his gaze met mine.

My belayed order wwent into action and I reached up and gently touched the side of his face in silent concern. Distant amber eyes gazed down and me before he reached up and engulfed my smaller hand in his. A hard and fast thrust from his hips and I cried out once more, eyes snapping close. Our one hands interlocked as he thrusted into me again and again. Sometime durring the storm of pleasure I grasped the corner of the desk, crumppleing several papers. Kenpachi made no comment, barely even stopping to notice to outside noise.

"Ah!..nh... !" His unoccupied hand stroked my clit, at once teasing and demanding. "Ken...!...pa..chi.." I panted between gasps of pleasure. He pulled my body against him and slammed his lips onto mine as I screamed in pleasure, cumming moments after his seed filled my insides. When he pulled out I let out a whimpper, feeling his hot breath ghosting over my bruised neck in rapid sucession, and a voice rasping my name before I succumbed to the darkness of exauhstion.

That was the first time I called out to him durring our times together. The first time I had vocalized to him what he meant to me. Again, there was never words of tenderness between us durring, before, or after spending the night in one another's arms, but even so I could feel my heart warming whenever I thought of him. Whenever he was near I wanted to be around him. If he was there I wanted to help him, to understand him, to lo-

My eyes opened hearing the faint sounds of the world begining to awaken and I frowned in finding myself in a none oppulent room without the words and orders of servants surrounding me. The room was plain, with a small desk in a corner and the futon I was currently laying on, which I have to say smelled really good and was extremely comfortable.

"Where-oh." I sat up in order to look around and stopped my words as I sheepishly realized where I was. The memories from the night before washed through me and I could feel my face burn. Then I groaned, remebering that I was supposed to inform my servants about spending the night with a man. "I'm going to be deaf by the time she stops berrateing me."

With a sigh I began the process of gathering my vestments and the other stuff I would need in order to return to the Red Lotus. I wasn't in any particular hurry, since I wanted to keep the earfull of scolding away as long as possible. At one point I slipped out of the room and bathed in the small women's bath. The warm waters soothed sore muscles and I nearly returned to the sweet world of my dreams, as the faint smell of vanilla shifted through the air. However good the bath felt I knew that I had to leave before I shrivlled up like a prune, so after an hour or so in the warm water that helped take the edge off of my vauge headache, I flash stepped back into the room with a towel hiding my body from the rest of the world.

"You owe me work." Zaraki's voice gratted from behind, as I closed the door. I jumped and whirlled around, my wet hair snapping againt uncovered skin. A yelp of surprise might have escaped me, as I rushed to see the holder of that rough voice.

"What?"

"You owe me work." He held up someting white, and I realized that I was a paper. That had been on his desk. That I had crushed in the midst of pleasure. "Ooops?"

Two amber eyes gazed at me, free from the patch that had come off durring our night escapade. I couldn't read them, his eyes, aside from the times when our bodies and minds were overwhelmed to hide what we felt; those were the few times I could glimps the emotiom behind that cool gaze, that seemed to take everything in at once and hide everything. I swallowed under the force of that gaze. I had been away far too long, though a month had yet to pass. Had I never left his gaze wouldn't do this to me, make me nervous or needy or slightly frightened, it would just be a look that was asessing and comtinplative, something I could easily ignore, because I had grown used to it. But somewhere allong my time as a Tayuu I had forgotten the power of his gaze and what it wouldn't say.

I bowed in appology and quickly walked over to the futon where I grabbed a sky blue yukata and tugged it on, being certain to tie the slightly darker colored obi tightly. Walking across the room I sat beside my captain and bgean to help re-do the crumppled and dirtied work. I must have become absorbed in the words, because the sun was setting when I looked up. An entire day spent doing papers. I looked back at the greatly minimized pile and breathed out, while wiggleing stiffened limbs. A warm hand placed a steaming cup of tea before me, the dim clunk catching my attention. My eyes followed the lines of the hand, up a well muscled and completely bare arm, past the should, up the neck, and to the scarred face of Kenpachi. "Thank you." I murmured, looking back down at the small cup sitting in front of me.

Large hands began running through my hair as I sipped the bitter tea. It was a slow movement, careful and hesitant, as though he wasn't absolutely certain about what it was he was doing. I leaned back a bit, encouraging the man. And thus, as we sat together in silence, the days passed into night.


	33. Found Out Chapter 33

Yosh! Konnichiwa minna! I am here to bring you the usual dull disclaimer- that I dont own anything other than my name, blood, sweat, tears, and of course my OCs.

Thanks for reading and reviewing. And special thanks to all of you guys who have favorited and added Alerts for this story.

-SighingWinter

**For my very special reviewers, and my special(est) Beta Reader Moonlight's Shadow Warrior**

* * *

The following days after that night were, as expected, terrible. I was lightly scolded, for not telling my servants that there would be more than one night that I was staying with a Captain of the Seireiti. You can only imagine my relief that someone had covered for me. For awhile I thought that I was going to get away with everything without any large fuss, and then I could hopefully get back to trying to find the killer that roamed Roukongai- that is until Tsukihime visited and forced me into remaining within the Red Lotus for days, listening to her strictures on men and my duty as a Tayu. Gods, those three days were worse than having to deal with a drunken Ikkaku!

Then one day, things went from bad to worse. The murderer had struck once more, only this time far outside his normal range of killings. The victim was a little girl, the attendant to another Tayu. She was found in Fortieth District, and suddenly the air was thick with fear. No one travelled outside without three or four attendants and a few bodyguards. There was a sick feeling in my stomach, upon hearing about the girl; something bad was happening- as if hollow attacks weren't enough to deal with.

It was midnight two days after the child's death. I couldn't sleep, and tossed restlessly in my futon, trying to find some form of sleep. The air in my room was humid and stuffy, and finally I slipped out of bed and walked across the room to open the windows. As the air, only marginally cooler than the air in my room rushed past me, I sighed happily and relaxed against the windowsill. Glancing around my room, I grinned childishly having sensed no one watching. Slipping on a decent yukata, neither too nice nor too plain, I slipped out the window and onto the roof that rested a few feet below. A few flash steps later I was on the ground a mile or so from The Red Lotus. Smiling to myself I walked through the busy streets of the red light district, watching as the world moved by.

Men and women, too inebriated to care about the world around them joked and laughed, filling the lantern lit world around me with a cheerfulness I hadn't felt in while. It felt good. And yet, there was something underlying the drunkenness and the false cheer. Tension and fear, wreaked havoc just beneath the surface- it hit me then, that no one walked by themselves, always in at least a pair. The storeowners treated every customer with a wariness I had never seen before; guards paced the streets edges, hands on their swords as they gazed into both light and shadow.

A familiar reaitsu brushed my senses and I halted, wondering what it was that _he _was doing, so nearby. Slipping into a nearby alleyway I followed the reiaitsu, never being seen and never seeing the man I stalked. Finally the back alleys forced me towards open ground and main streets. Not wishing to be easily tracked I climbed up onto a nearby roof and scanned the crowds. It didn't take me long to spot the man who walked, half hidden in shadow and covered in some kind of kido. My brows pulled together upon seeing who it was.

"What are you doing here Tanaka?" I muttered under my breath watching his actions. He slipped through the streets, and none seemed to notice- it was as if he simply didn't exist. Walking against the crowds of people Tanaka walked around, dark eyes darting behind, to either side, and then upwards. I tensed and pressed my body against the roof I was perched on, barely able to see the healer's figure. He knocked on a door, and slipped inside, the house providing a cover against prying eyes like mine.

I frowned and suppressed my reiatsu, before sliding off the roof and making my way towards the house that housed my fellow healer. The gods luck must have been on my side that night, because someone had left a window slightly cracked open, probably to let the oppressive humidity out of the building. Pressing against the wall beneath the window, I strained to hear what it was that was being said.

Tanaka's voice was the first to break through the thick air, "Another troublesome situation has come to my attention. Which one of you was it that killed that child?"

My breath caught in my throat, _WHAT?_

The reply was low enough that I missed it, but I did not missed the sound of a katana being drawn and then sheathed as the low thud of a body hit the ground.

"Anyone else who decides to go against my orders will meet the same fate. I haven't come this far only to fail because of idiotic moves. The Seireiti has caught wind of the murders and I am currently in the process of tracking down the shinigami they sent. Once that problem is disposed of then we can continue."

_He knows, _the thought pierced through every other thought that was being tossed around in my mind and really showed me the danger I was in. I closed my eyes, taking a few breaths, trying to calm my racing heart. _He doesn't know it's me, not yet. Just keep calm and listen. _

"Now remember. No more killings until I give the order." I mentally cursed at my strayed attention and quickly snuck away from the house. It wasn't for another hour, after making certain that I hadn't been followed, that I was back in my room. Placing the last of my concentration onto a piece of paper, I struggled to write in code as my hands began to shake. Deftly I folded the paper into a crane and with a quick kido, it flew out the window and, I hoped, into the hands of Yoruichi Shihon.

Closeing the window and once more putting on my sleeping clothes I tried to silence my thoughts and calm the singing of the adrenalin that danced in my blood, until at last merciful sleep took away the dull fear and sent me to a sweet place in my dreams.


	34. Dreams   Chapter 34

Yosh! Konnichiwa minna! I am here to bring you the usual dull disclaimer- that I dont own anything other than my name, blood, sweat, tears, and of course my OCs.

Thanks for reading and reviewing. And special thanks to all of you guys who have favorited and added Alerts for this story.

-SighingWinter

**For my very special reviewers, and my special(est) Beta Reader Moonlight's Shadow Warrior**

**P.S- SORRY FOR THE OVERDUE UPDATE**

* * *

_Closing the window and once more putting on my sleeping clothes I tried to silence my thoughts and calm the singing of the adrenalin that danced in my blood, until at last merciful sleep took away the dull fear that rang through my body and sent me to a sweet place in my dreams._

The sounds of crickets pulsed through the warm summer air, creating a throbbing music that seemed to settle easily throughout the town. The sun's dull orange glow was warm and gently, brightening the world for a little longer as it sank even lower in the sky to sleep below the horizon. As the streetlamps began to flicker on I walked calmly, quite happy just to walk through the fading day with groceries in my hands and plans in my head for a wonderful meal. Humming softly to myself, I smiled watching as children raced homewards, yelling happily as they made their way back to the parents arms and their evening routines. In little over an hour I knew that this street would be completely devoid of life, save for the occasional car, as homes would be filled with laughter and the smells of food.

Looking both ways I easily crossed the empty street, and made my way up the apartment stairs, nodding to old Ms. Shiksen, my neighbor and a widow who loved to help others in need. The old woman nodded back and smiled warmly asking about my day and my son. I warmly replied and our brief conversation was quickly closed as my apartment door blasted open and a child with bright amber eyes and messy brown hair rushed at me and trapped my legs in a tight hug. Laughingly I managed to keep my feet and extract myself from the tight grip of my son's hands. Ms. Shiksen laughed and said something along the lines of 'oh my' before wishing me a good evening and walking down the stairs I had just come up.

"Mom! Mom! MOM! You won't believe what I did at school today!" The seven year old boy grinned up at me and I laughed.

"Oh really? Is there something I need to be worried about, Kouki?" I teased as we walked into our home together.

Messy hair flew outwards as Kouki shook his head in an immediate denial of my words. As his bright ambers eyes locked on me filled with happiness, I couldn't shake a brief sense of wrongness.

"I beat Kouji!" The feeling faded and I shook my head, feigning exasperation as my son's antics with the boy who lived two floors up. As Kouki continued to rambled on about the day's adventures I smiled and listened even as I made my way to the kitchen to prepare for the night's dinner.

The feeling of wrongness crashed into me again, this time stronger than the last, and I looked up as the world began to shake.

"Mom?" Kouki's voice was small, scared. I looked around feeling panicked as the shaking grew even more intense and the walls began to crack.

"Kouki!"

"MOM!"

The walls caved in and the last thing I saw before the roof over my head caved in was the fear etched on my child's face as he reached towards me.

_There were voices and I frowned, trying to swipe at the mists that surrounded me. Somewhere in my head a voice cried out for me, a voice I should have known but I didn't. Familiar amber eyes flashed in the misty world and I gasped and rushed forwards, only to fall into darkness once more._

The dim winter's night was cold and I groaned to myself, wishing that for a short time my body would stop throwing up whatever food I ate that morning. With a heavy sigh, I made it to the bathroom so that my stomach might satisfy itself with throwing up the 2 am craving that had woken me up about an hour earlier. Idly I wondered how much longer the morning sickness would last. As if caught by that stream of thought my eyes searched out the tiny device that lay on the counter nearby. I had to check to see once more if all of this was a dream and I'd wake up-

_The mists invaded once more and the voices sounded angry this time. They were loud and forceful, but indistinct no matter how close I attempted to get. I tried to call out but my throat refused to work, it hurt and so did my body. I ached everywhere with dull pain. How had that happened? Where was I? I wandered for what felt like hours, swimming through mists until I stumbled and fell. Fatigue wore me down and I closed my eyes, willing my body to try and do something other than die. _

A scream pierced the air and somewhere in the back of my mind I realized that the scream was mind. Damn, this hurt! I groaned and pushed, wanting the thing inside me out. Voices, light and warm- gentle voices urged me to continue to push, reassuring me that I was almost there, that I was doing such a wonderful job… What? ... I did have time to voice my confusion as another contraction shook my entire body and I moaned but continued to try and push, fighting back against the pain. As abruptly as it started the pain was gone and I wept in relief, the warmed voices soothed and damn cloths wiped away the sweat from my brow.

"Congratulations." A deep voice said, as a warm wiggling bundle was place in my arms. Cries of upset emitted from the baby's mouth, clearly indignant to having be forcibly removed from a warm place into the cold. I could feel the smile and hear the laughter that bubbled from my mouth, as I held my son in my arms for the first time.

Suddenly the warms voices were cold and sneering, and strong arms tore away the precious being from my arms. I cried out and yelled, fighting against the strong hands that gripped me tightly, pushing my back down onto the bed and holding me there. I screamed and fought, demanding and begging, through tears that they bring my baby- my child- my son, back. But they didn't, and as pain permeated my being once more I screamed to the heavens my agony and hatred.

_I jerked, the pain was stronger now and I could barely breathe. The voice had long since disappeared and I knew that I was all alone in this world. This dismal world of darkness and mists, of things that could not be seen or touched. I wanted to scream, to roar, to do something, anything- other than lay limply against the invisible ground. I want to give up to wake-_

The playground was filled with happy laughter and I smiled, holding up the baby who stood uncertainly on the ground, amber eyes solemn as the regarded to kids on the playground. He was a little less than one years old and was stubbornly trying to learn how to walk. Kneeling down, as I felt my son's tiny body begin to shake, I had to smile. "There is no rush Kouki, you will learn and one day you'' be the best climber the kids have ever seen."

I don't think the young one understood my words, but I knew that he understood my voice. He grinned up at me and I- knew that this was a dream.

The image of the happy world, of children and smiling families in front of me shattered, until all that remained was the little boy, who I had thought to be my son. He was standing now, looking at me as though I had betrayed him. I reached out and he shattered too.

The glass shards burned leaving behind faint cuts and trails of blood.

_The mists began to clear and at last I understood. I was dreaming, none of this was real- it couldn't be. Or maybe I was just too far gone in dying that it was and I refused to believe that my time had come to an end. "That's…. It" I croaked "I've… had… enough." _

The smell was the first thing to hit me. Earth mixed with blood. It was a smell I don't think I would ever be able to forget. The next thing was feeling the pain. My entire being burned with it. Slowly the two connected, the blood was mine, I was in pain, so I must be hurt…, but how?

Sluggishly memory returned next, I had made it back to the place I was staying and had fallen asleep, totally unguarded. Vague memories of a battle, and emotions danced though my head. Then- the nothingness. Once more my mind slowly my mind connected the various events, leading to a single conclusion- I had been caught.

My fingers twitched and I struggled for a moment before my eyes followed the demands of my mind. What I saw made me wish I hadn't looked. A sword lay there, imbedded in my body. It was deep and with every breath I took it moved, causing pain.

"Welcome back." A soft female voice murmured. I looked up slowly, barely able to turn away to from the dreadful scene that was playing across my body. The figure sat in front of me, seiza style. I blinked trying to work away the blurriness. Slowly so came into focus and I tried to nod.

" 'Lo Namida…"


End file.
